I barely slept that night. I kept turning and tossing, wondering why he had left me just like that. All my insecurities came back to me. Did I smell so bad I turned him off? Did he realise that it was a mistake? I desperately wanted to know what was going on in his mind. If he didn’t want me, why did he kiss me in the first place? Was he a psycho who just wanted to see me suffer?
Eventually, I managed to sleep. I even survived the next day, thanks to all the work I had to do. MaryAnn claimed to be sick and I didn’t ask her to prove it because I needed the work in order to take things off my mind.
I had not stopped thinking of that second’s long kiss. His lips had been on mine for but a second but it had felt phenomenal. I had known that I was going to enjoy it. Unfortunately for me, it ended before I could enjoy it.
Which was a good thing because enjoying it would have made me crave more, and yet I couldn’t have it.
Or maybe I could. Maybe he had changed his mind and actually wanted me.
“He’s going to actually marry her?” I heard one of the cooks saying as I approached the kitchen. I entered and the two people inside stopped talking. Then grace smiled. “My little girl is finally going to marry the man of her dreams. And I’m going to get out of this dump you call a kitchen. Once Jane becomes the luna, she will actually have the power to pardon me.”
I was frozen by the door, holding on to it for support. I couldn’t believe what that bastard had done. Had he kissed me to taste my lips, so he could run off and marry his princess without having any ‘what ifs’ on his mind?
“Oh hey, girlie.” Grace turned to me. “Have you heard the great news? The alpha is going to marry my dear Jane in less than a months’ time.”
I faked a smile. “Oh, that’s really nice. Good for them both.”
Before she could say anything, I left. The only thing she wanted was to hurt me, and she had already done enough of that. I did not need her to see it.
I passed by some girls talking excitedly, and did not have to ask to know that they were talking about what was I was trying to run away from.
My sadness and disappointment grew as the days went by. I never saw the alpha again, but I could feel the buzz surrounding the preparations for the wedding of the year. Staying in the slave quarters all day was starting to get to me and I couldn’t wait for new slaves to be brought so I could go and work somewhere else. I was losing my mind staying behind the scenes.
In the evenings, I often heard the other girls talking excitedly about the upcoming wedding. They all seemed very happy and excited, they had no idea that I was dying slowly as time went by. I waited for alpha Ridian to come and reject me for once and for all so I could move on peacefully but he never did. He continued to string me along, and I continued to bear with it. One time, I decided I had had enough. I rebelled and went to the pack house. Of course the guards threw me out before I could meet him.
“I want to speak to that coward,” I yelled, staying put at the porch.
I heard female laugh and looked up to see a woman who looked very much like the alpha coming out.
“And who the hell are you?” she asked. “What do you want to speak to him about? Just tell me and I will relay the message.”
“It has nothing to do with you,” I yelled at her. “Tell that coward to come out and do what he has to do.”
“What are you talking about?”
“If you think I’m going to tell you, you better think again. With all due respect, I’d rather talk about this with him alone.”
Suddenly, Dane’s replacement came out of the house and grabbed me by the wrist. “So sorry, your highness. I will find out what she has to say and give appropriate punishment. Rest assured, she won’t be bothering you again.”
“Please,” the woman said before turning back.
“Let’s go, you insolent brat.”
“You let go of me,” I yelled at him. “fvcking slave driver. How much do they pay you to do all their dirty work?”
The man dragged me all the way to our quarters and into the red room. He pushed me inside and I fell on my knees. He locked the door and walked across the room. He grabbed a whip and turned back. My heart was pounding against my ribcage as if it would burst out.
Without even telling me to get into position, he started whipping me on the back. I screamed out in pain but he kept lashing out. I screamed until my voice was hoarse. When he felt tired, he stopped and went to put the whip back where he had got it.
My back was burning and tears were cascading down my cheeks like a waterfall. I could feel my blouse clinging onto my back and could taste the metallic taste of blood in my mouth from me biting my lips while being whipped. I was no longer kneeling, but lying on the cold floor.
“I hope you have learnt your lesson now,” the man said before dragging me up. I had no choice but to stand.
“Sit,” he said.
I staggered to the nearest chair, a wooden one.
“Now you are going to tell me what that drama was all about.”
“I’m sorry I cant.”
“What do you want from the alpha?” he asked as he walked back to where the whip was hanging. “Or do you want more? One thing I can tell you is that you won’t be walking out of here until you speak.”
“It’s not in my place, but I assure you that the alpha knows what my issue is. Please tell his mother to ask him.”
“Are you giving me instructions?” the man chuckled before raising the hand with the whip up. Suddenly, the door opened.
“Marlon.”
“What?” the overseer asked as he went towards the door. His colleague whispered something in his ear. His expression changed as he listened.
He sighed as he turned back.
“You can leave.”
“On whose orders. Hey you,” I said to the second man. “Where is that coward? Tell him to show up and do the needful for once and for all. For an alpha, he is such a scaredy cat.”
“Leave,” Marlon said, glaring at me.
Standing up, I walked out of the room. I could feel my back stinging as the cloth made contact with it. The pain wasn’t as bad as the first time I had been whipped. It seemed I was building up tolerance.
I didn’t know whether that was a good, or a bad thing.