I watched in horror as Dane picked out a whip from the many hanging off the wall. He took his hand and studied it, as if testing its efficiency. Memories of my last whipping flooded my mind and I could almost feel the pain on my body.
I wanted to speak, to beg for forgiveness but the words couldn’t come out. I remained frozen in silence, watching as Dane made his way to me, taking large measured strides, typical of a man on a mission.
He stopped in front of me. Since I was kneeling and couldn’t look up, I stared at his sandals. He had huge legs which thin toes which was a bit strange. His brown feet were ashy and dry as if he hadn’t put lotion on them for decades.
“Undo the top part of your dress,” he said, going to stand behind my back. My body stiffened as it prepared itself for what was to come. The whip came down hard and sent pain all over my back. Then there was another, and another. I couldn’t stop the sobs that wrecked my body as strokes rained all over my back. The pain was so overwhelming I felt like my skin was tearing apart. He didn’t stop until he was tired, and I was a weeping mess about to fall over.
“You can go now,” he said after he was done. He stood there for a while, staring at his handwork. I was too scared to move. After about a minute, he started walking towards the wall he had got the whip from.
I pulled my dress up and slowly putting my hands through the sleeves. The pain increased when the cloth made contact with the bruises on my back. Using the hem of my dress, I wiped the tears and snot before standing up.
Before he could change his mind and continue punishing me, I trudged out of the cold room. I could feel my back burning as the cloth kept rubbing on it. There were traces of blood on my hands and other parts of my uniform.
When I walked out of the building, the sun hit me hard, making the pain worse than before. Two girls with pink uniforms stared at me as I passed by, before starting to converse in whispers. I knew they were talking about me but didn’t care.
I went straight to my room and painfully removed the cloth. There was a knock on the door a short while later.
“Who’s there?” I asked.
“It’s me,” it was Grace’s voice. “I brought you some herbs under Dane’s orders. They will help with the wound.”
Wrapping a towel on the front side of my body, I walked to the door and unlocked it. “I’m sorry, I can’t dress up right now.”
“I know it’s going to be painful. That’s why I brought herbs that will help. You still have to work even after getting your punishment. The sooner you get better, the better for all of us.”
I was wearing underwear so I didn’t mind her seeing me in that. Grace walked in with a plastic container that she set on the table. She went back out and returned with a bucket with water and a dry blue cloth on her hands. “Come and sit.” She said, gesturing to the chair next to the table. I went and sat on it.
Grace stood behind my back. She dipped the cloth in the bucket and brought it up to my back. My teeth clenched when the cloth made cold contact with my back. The pain was so intense I had to put a hand on my mouth to stop myself from screaming as Grace scrubbed my back. It seemed she was intentionally trying to put me in as much pain as possible.
“You’re scrubbing too hard,” I said.
“Well, it needs to be extra clean to avoid infection. I’m trying to get rid of the flaky skin.”
I put my lips together and endured the torture. She finished soon enough and dried the skin with a towel before starting to apply the sticky substance all over my back. When she finished, she placed the container back on the table, and went to get me another uniform, a black old one, she said. She didn’t want to ruin the pairs I had for work with the green medicine.
As I waited, I could literally feel the soothing effect of the herbs. I wished I could just lie down on my face and sleep as my back healed but I know that Grace was not about to let me have a break despite my condition. The pack had paid money to acquire me so I had to pay them back through work or money if I could get any which was impossible. I made a mental note to ask Dane how many years I had to work for my freedom.
Grace returned and tossed me the black uniform from the doorway. “Be in the kitchen in thirty minutes,” she said before closing the door. I remained sitting until I couldn’t hear her footsteps. Standing up, I got the dress and started putting it on, starting from the legs going upwards until it reached my waist. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pondered on my life, and the fate of my little siblings. Were they being treated like trash in their new packs, too? I wondered.
I could handle suffering, but the thought of them going through a similar fate killed me. Maybe it was better we were in different packs because I would not have liked to see them suffering every day.
When I finally gained some bravery, I put on the dress fully and made my way to the kitchen after dropping my blood stained dress in the laundry shed. There I put it in a basin and left it to soak.
Grace and Mirta were finishing already serving up lunch and Maryanne was waiting to take it to the dining hall. I could hear loud male voices and knew that the men were back for their lunch. I couldn’t wait to deliver the food, eat and then go and have a nap. The pain had dulled a bit but the heat in the kitchen was resurrecting it.
Lunch went by without any incident. When I was done, I went back to my room then slept.
Rose was standing by the water, Ren running towards her. She was crying, and he was screaming.
“Rose, don’t do it. How can I survive without you? You can’t leave me alone.”
“Then let’s do it together,” k suggested.
“No, please. We don’t have to do this, it’s not worth it.”
“Cilla.” I could hear my name in the distance but had no idea where it was coming from. The sound kept increasing until it was too loud.
My eyes opened and I quickly sat up, looking around the room. “Rose, Ren.”
“Cilla.” Maryanne’s voice came from the door.
My chest was rising and falling. It was a nightmare. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was a message. Were my siblings in danger?