I was feeling better already. I was missing Ranulf, but Durwin said that he was still busy. It has been four days.
“Why do I have a bad feeling about him? is he avoiding me?”
I didn’t know why, my mind was thinking that he was staying away from me. At night, he would be back and hold me when I was asleep. I could feel his warmth and smell his scent. But he always leaves me before I woke up the next day. And today was the fourth time he did it.
“I believe he loves you to a great extent, and right now he’s contemplating with himself. He’s afraid. He’s just being in love with you. Give him time?”
We had just finished our bath, I was all better, magically healed by Maven. Durwin was going to dress me with his color when I put my hand on his naked chest and asked him to kiss me.
“Are you sure?”
“I missed him Durwin, I missed us. Don’t you want me?”
I was feeling the rejection before he even answered me.
“Rain…” but I was quickly getting dressed and was about to walk aimlessly around the palace when he Durwin pulled me in, he cupped my jaw with his strong hand and forced me to look up to him.
His eyes were searching for my already teary eyes. I was so upset, I never like the drama. Everything about our relationship was all about going back and forth. And honestly, I was tired.
“Rain…”
“Do you?”
“I do, I love you and also my dearest king.” He whispered and kiss my ear slowly. I shivered and sighed at his kiss.
“Love me then, show me…” his eyes were back to mine.
“… cause right now I’m feeling so alone in this hell.”
“You have me, you will always have me.”
“Until when Durwin? until he decided to go back to his line of harem? they’re still here aren’t they?” I have never thought about his numerous lovers up until that time. My heart ached thinking about it, my tears fall involuntarily and I quickly wiped it away.
“I’m just going to take a walk…”
“Rain, let me accompany you.” He was grabbing my hand but didn’t dare to act further.
As expected.
“I think I want to be alone for now, I’m going to Maven’s and read some of his books.”
I was letting myself go from him, I need to occupy my mind with something else. If this is what he wanted I would wait. But I couldn’t help myself for not shedding a tear for him.
Reaching his door, I was taking a deep breath, then was a bit startled when I was called out to enter before I even knock on his door.
“Master Rain, what can I do for you?”
“Maven, I’m… bored, can I read your books?”
“Certainly.”
His answer was short and cold as always, but he was walking to his bookshelf and gave me a large dusty book within moments.
“You will find him here, also his nemesis and his angelic mate.”
He didn’t say anything more, he just leaves with the book to me and was back to his busy self stirring his cauldron and adding more ingredients into the mix. So there I was for the next two hours reading about his life, from there I had learned that his insecurities run deeper than I thought. Honestly, I didn’t even know if I could handle him after reading the book.
Ranulf was described as a very powerful yet complicated being, his past had molded him to his present self. I gave back the book to Maven thanking him, though not knowing what to do with the information.
“Why did you give me the book?”
“Both of you are to be together, it’ll happen no matter how hard both of you try to stay away.”
“Right.”
Try only one who’s staying put. You’re here right? maybe we should just go back?
My wolf was feeling my anxiousness, and he was wanting us to be done with and get back to the pack, even the coven. Anywhere but here, where we were unwanted by the person we love.
I leave Maven and let my feet led the way for me. I was wandering aimlessly throughout the corridors of the palace until I reached a beautiful court garden. It wasn’t anywhere near his harem court, so I decided to go and sit under one of the lush trees. The ambiance was calming me down, up until I heard his voice.
“You like it here?”
“It’s peaceful.”
My handsome angel was resting his back to the opposite tree, he was looking at me while I was trying not to be affected by him. Yet I was failing miserably. I sighed and try to think about anything else.
“Rain. I… we… ”
“My King, general Osbert has sought your attendance.”
He was about to talk when one of the guards called him out, and he excused himself to go with him easily. Days before, he would ignore the call and be with me a little while longer.
I was thinking the worst when the succubus Basilea, came up and accompany me under the tree. I’ve talked to her a couple of times after the courtyard incident, we were not getting closer but she was not an annoyance.
“You’re a good man Rain, but he’s a great King. Don’t let the image of love blurred your feelings, there are no such things. While lust is one I truly believe in, let me give you a piece of friendly advice…” she said, while she touched my hand and her eyes roamed to the reddening skyline far away.
“Protect yourself, don’t let yourself fall too deep. You have to manage to be able to pick yourself up, at the end of the day we all die alone. No mates, no lovers, nobody to share our dying days with. You’re a good man Rain, but are you good enough for our King? I wish you the best of luck.” She whispered her last words, which went straight to my head.
Die alone… she’s right… absolutely right…
Heading away from the beautiful court, I kept on walking. Wandering off to where my feet were trying to take. I didn’t realize that I was heading out of the narrow pathway outside the palace walls. The path which we took the day I was taken. I remembered that I used to let my frustration out by killing demon crawlers. And at that time I was truly frustrated with my king.
And so I let my wolf out and we hunt. We hunt further away into the unknown and I didn’t even give a fuck. I was feeling the freedom, I was letting my wolf roamed freely to the hellish terrain until I was too exhausted to continue.
Die alone… not a bad idea… I was tired… tired of all the ups and downs…
“You’re alone?”
A black-winged angel came up to me, as my wolf was resting. I looked up to him, yet I didn’t care if he was the enemy or the friend. My energy was draining, suddenly I became really tired. I couldn’t make myself get up, I was lethargic.
“Come, let’s rest at mine?”
I was changing to my human form, my energy diminished and I couldn’t resist when he slowly picked me up and fly up to the reddening sky.
Die alone…