I woke up in the evening when someone shook my shoulders. I jolted awake before I glanced around in confusion. Suddenly, a string of memories rushed into my mind as I instantly remembered what had occured. I had broken up with Vampire, and I didn’t even get enough time to feel remorse when I got the news that Lewis had an accident and also had lied to me about the job.
Not only that, he was even in heavy debt all because he had dared to purchase costly gifts for me.
When all of these things would be in my mind, how would I dare to think about my breakup with Vampire? At this time, Vampire was the last thing on my mind. I could only stare at my husband’s face with a blank expression on my face before I managed to react. An awkward chuckle escaped my lips before I got off the bed and sat a bit far away from him. I didn’t even dare to look him in the eye.
“Why did you ride the bicycle?”
When I spoke those words, I wanted to curse myself. I knew why he rode it! If it weren’t for me scolding him badly, why would he decide to go out in the first place? So the majority of the aspect that created such a drastic situation for Lewis was clearly me.
The light in my eyes dimmed when I thought of that. Just as I was about to say something to change the topic, my husband opened his mouth and said, “I had to do overwork. That’s why I took the bike. As for our car…. It wasn’t working well. So I sold it.”
I closed my eyes to hide the emotion of guilt and regret. Just when would he stop lying? I knew that he had already seen my expression and to make me feel better, he was lying to me again!
But it was over. How could he continue lying to each other? We had to have a talk about this!
So I stood up and walked beside him and sat on the bed like yesterday. Then I glanced at him with a solemn look in my eyes and said, “I know you didn’t get a job yet. I saw your messages already.”
“Oh.” I could see a hint of embarrassment in his eyes as he lowered his head as if he was trying to figure out what to say. At this time, Lewis’s expressions looked almost like a child who was caught doing something bad and was going to get scolded.
I remembered when we were dating, he never had to think too much before saying anything to me. But now, his condition has become like this only because of me.
Earlier, I knew that for an entire year, my husband had ignored me and I had justified myself by thinking it was all Lewis’s fault. But was it really my husband alone?
I knew that I was also at fault for whatever that had happened. I got so immersed in my wish to fulfil my dreams that I had continuously neglected my husband’s needs. So he ended up focusing on his job and stopped looking at me either. He also got hurt because of me so many times that he started building a guard around his heart that didn’t let him feel any emotion for me.
Now that I thought about it, I could remember that day when we both had a big argument about my dream more than a year ago and I had left home for an entire month. I stayed at the hotel, enjoying with my friends while blocking my husband’s contact number. I remembered how desperately he had tried to come to me and apologize, but I ignored all his intentions and continued to pretend like nothing happened. And when I got back home, I found that my husband’s attitude toward me had changed completely.
Why?
I still didn’t know what had happened to him back then. Since we were already going to make up today, I thought I should start with that point.
I took a deep breath and glanced at him. “Lewis, why did you change back then? Why did you start acting aloof to me after I came back a year ago?”
My husband was stunned after hearing my words before a hint of understanding flashed in his eyes. He averted his eyes before fixing his gaze outside the window. After a long time, he opened his mouth to speak without glancing at me. “I knew you wanted a lot of money and that’s why you wanted to write novels. So when I couldn’t approach you, I thought hard and decided that I had to make myself reliable so that you shouldn’t have to take the burden on your shoulders. I got so career centric that subconsciously, I ignored you. Elise….” He turned to look at me with an apologetic smile on his face. “I was wrong. It was my fault that I ignored you for so long that you had to turn to someone else.”
I didn’t know what to say anymore. I knew that this was what probably had happened, but when I heard it from his mouth, I couldn’t help but feel that both of us were so stupid. But before I could say anything more, I heard him speaking again.
“Elise, I hurt you both physically and emotionally. I knew you wanted to go, but….” It seemed that he got so emotional that his voice choked up at the end before he sucked in a deep breath and blinked rapidly. “I was so helpless. I couldn’t let you go. My world revolves around you, and even the thought of living without you has become unbearable. I-I…”
“I’m sorry.” I finally opened my mouth as tears filled my eyes, but I didn’t care. Lewis had seen all of my embarrassing sides. So it didn’t matter if I cried before his eyes. And I did. I couldn’t control myself anymore, especially after hearing his confession. “It’s my fault. I became too greedy. This world would have multiple attractions that will try to seduce you into breaking your own oath. And I fell into the pond of delusion that something else can make me happy, but I was so wrong. Not only was I hurt, I dug a pit for everyone around me, especially you, Lewis. I don’t even know why you would keep loving a person who was dead set on leaving you by hook or by crook. I would never be able to do that. I just….”
I didn’t know what else to say anymore. So I sobbed silently. At this time, I really wanted to press myself in his arms. Before I could think what I was doing, I moved closer and hugged him, while hiding my face in the crook of his neck. I was still crying, but the feeling of home that I got when I was with him was outworldly.
Suddenly, I felt his hands caressing my head silently as he hugged me back. I could feel his heartbeat rising against me.
At this time, I didn’t know whether I loved him or not, but I wanted to make up for my mistakes. Maybe while doing so, we might find the love back that we had missed out on for a year.
But there was one thing that I could do to start making up to him. I wiped my face and backed away a little. Without giving myself a chance to think twice, I pressed my lips against his.
I could feel his body freezing in my arms as I pressed my lips even more while bringing his lower lips between my teeth and sucking them. He finally reacted and kissed me back with a hint of urgency. I could feel his body pressing against mine as we kissed like no tomorrow.
Surprisingly, I felt my heartbeat rising as I kissed him. The feeling of dullness that had engulfed my heart before when he had kissed me back then went away. This feeling gave me a hope that things could still go back to normal.