I couldn’t help but open my eyes wide and stare at the girl standing beside me. “Are you serious?”
She nodded and looked at me with sympathy. “You should have worn it.”
I imagined myself wearing those shoes and standing beside Vampire holding his hand and shaking my head to get rid of that image. Even if those shoes were costly, I didn’t want to wear them at all! And just where did my husband find so much money? It was such a waste!
He should have known that I wouldn’t accept this gift this time, especially when I was going to stand beside Vampire wearing the dress he bought for me! Why would I want to wear my husband’s shoes and constantly remind myself about the guilt feeling in my heart? I was already frustrated, and such a thing would only add to my irritation!
I gritted my teeth upon thinking of this.
“I can wear something that I bought on my own!” I said righteously. “Why would I need to beg others to give it to me?”
After saying that purposefully loud enough for everyone to listen to, I turned back and went inside my make-up room to hide my face. I felt wronged! Even though I knew that he was just worried about me, I couldn’t help but feel angry at him.
My veins popped up as I thought of that man. Just when I was about to become drunk in my depression and anger, I heard someone knocking the door. I looked up to see Vampire standing there, glancing at me with a worried expression on his face.
“Are you alright?”
Am I alright?
What a good question! I suddenly let out a chuckle that seemed so dry that anyone could tell that I was angry. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
Vampire shook his head and opened his mouth to say something, but ultimately decided against it and smiled. “Let’s go. It’ll be our time. Better prepare your speech.”
Then he handed me the paper and went out of the room before closing the door behind me.
I looked at the paper with a frown as I thought of how the ambiguous atmosphere between us suddenly disappeared ever since my husband came here to meet me! Would I ever be able to see my dream of standing on the stage with Vampire in real life?
To be honest, I had imagined myself standing side by side with Vampire ever since I fell for him. It didn’t matter whether I was getting an award or not. I just wanted to be there with him and tell everyone that I loved this guy. I wanted to be the person to stand beside him forever and ever.
But this dream seemed so far away that even when he was here, I didn’t feel like seeing his face. The familiar feeling of guilt in my heart returned as I thought of my husband again and the dream shattered into pieces.
It was ultimately my wishful thinking. I should have let Vampire go, but why can’t I? Why was it so difficult?
In the depths of my heart, I knew why it had been getting harder and harder to let him go. I was afraid of losing the love that had suddenly warmed my heart after so many years of drought. I didn’t want to go back to my gloomy life that I was living with my husband.
I had a lingering fear that even if I went back, Lewis would go back to his cold attitude without any hesitation, and I would be left alone at nights with my tears. I didn’t want to beg him for attention anymore.
But how could I ask for something that could never be mine? This love for Vampire belonged to his wife, not me. I had to face the reality some day, but I couldn’t.
Just for today, I wanted to stand beside Vampire and imagine myself as his beloved couple who had married him.
After this, a spark of motivation burned inside my heart as I recited the speech again and again until it was ingrained in my heart.
Soon, they called out my name as it was my turn this time to go on the stage with him. Now that I had sent away my husband, I felt relieved and thought that I could live my dream for the last time. I knew it was unreal, but it didn’t hurt anyone if I could enjoy it.
I and Vampire stood behind the curtains as I fixed my hair. The make-up artists gave my face another touch-up before they nodded at the manager.
Vampire leaned toward me as his warm lips brushed against my ear. “Are you ready?”
A trace of blush appeared on my face as I tried my best to hide it and nodded. I could imagine him having a smirk on his face after seeing my reaction. So I didn’t need to look at his face.
Just a second before the curtain was going to be opened, Vampire held my hand and squeezed it. I glanced at him with a questioning look in my eyes.
“Elise…. have you ever wondered how good it would be if we were together.”
“I have.” A bitter smile formed on my lips as I looked above. “But destiny doesn’t want that.”
Vampire shook his head. “I don’t believe in destiny. If we want, we could be together. It’s just….”
I didn’t need to think about this to know what he was trying to say. Neither of us wanted to get rid of our past. We weren’t ready, and neither were our official married partners. I couldn’t leave Lewis no matter how much that guy had irritated me these days. And I felt like it was the same for Vampire.
It wasn’t that we both didn’t love each other. It was just that both of us were mature and knew the consequences of our actions. I knew that if I left my husband, he would just jump in the river and die. Perhaps it was the same for Vampire.
Tears formed in my eyes when I thought of this. Why didn’t I meet Vampire before I got married? I would have loved to spend a lifetime with him.
“Why didn’t I meet you three years ago?” Words escaped my lips before I could stop them. I suddenly felt him squeezing my hand again as if he were trying to comfort me.
“I’m asking myself the same question.” Vampire replied with a sad expression on his face. “We would have been in a different situation.”
“Vampire, can I ask you for a last favor before we could go back to our lives?” I didn’t know why, but my intuition told me that this might be the last time we were standing together, holding hands. So my heart wanted to say one last goodbye.
Why? Why couldn’t we spend our lives together despite loving each other so much? We hadn’t even said those words properly, but somehow, I got an intuition that if I didn’t say anything today, it would be too late.
I knew a household couldn’t flourish on the foundation of destroying other people, especially the ones who spent many years with us. So I didn’t have a future with Vampire. But I could always make memories at present so that I could think of them on cold nights.
Vampire didn’t say anything but squeezed my hand, indicating that he heard my words.
I glanced right and left. When I saw that no one was watching us, I pulled him closer and gave one last lingering kiss on his lips. He was stunned, but before he could grab me and kiss me back, I had already backed away and smiled while holding back tears. “Thank you.”
I lowered my head to hide my expression.
“You-” Before he could say anything, the curtain opened and the audience cheered.
Both of us were standing beside each other as if we were a couple. We both knew that we couldn’t be together anymore, but we wanted to act like we were a couple just for tonight. But who would have thought that Lewis was still present in the audience?!
One look at his face made my heart drop. An expression of irritation appeared on my face.
Why? Why did my husband have to destroy my dream again and again?! I just asked for one night! But he wasn’t ready to give me that either!
What I didn’t know was when my expressions were filled with irritation upon seeing Lewis’s face, the latter also became sad. A flash of sadness crossed his eyes.