Keerthi gazed at her husband, wondering why he wasn’t continuing kissing her.
She had a burning urge to do something, her body tingling in weird places.
Vikram lied down straight, not looking at his wife, his pants uncomfortable.
He closed his eyes, knowing his wife wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy yet.
It was just a moment, Vikram convinced himself. The mad urge to make love to his wife will pass. His wife was not ready, he reminded himself.
Why else would she turn around when he held her breast?
It was soft over her top though, too soft. He couldn’t stop wondering how it would feel when he cupped it bare. Vikram groaned softly, adjusting his pants discreetly.
Keerthi gathered a lot of courage, as she scooted closer to her husband, placing a hand on his stomach shyly, over his T-Shirt.
Vikram held his wife’s hand in place, preventing it’s movement.”Go to sleep.”
Vikram placed an arm on his face, covering his eyes, waiting for sleep.
Keerthi found her husband’s tone cold. She didn’t know why he was being aloof all of a sudden. They cuddled while they slept, normally. She didn’t know if she had done anything wrong.
Keerthi quietly withdrew her hand from her husband’s hold, as she turned to the opposite side, tears pricking her eyes as ugly insecurities seeped through her chest.
Her husband didn’t want her, Keerthi thought bitterly, he didn’t like her.
Why else would any man stop? She was his wife. She wanted him to do a lot more, though she was nervous. Good God! She even kissed his chest, how else was she supposed to hint him? It was true she wasn’t ready to make love, be naked. But.. but couples did a lot other things. She knew it.
He just didn’t want her. That was it.
She placed a hand under her head, cushioning it, as she wiped a tear with her other hand, sniffing quietly.
His rejection hurt. Though she was apprehensive, Keerthi trusted her husband now. She wasn’t ready for the big step yet, which was true. But the fact that her husband didn’t want anything to do with her had her crying bitterly.
Keerthi was being a hypocrite. She herself didn’t want to jump into it, but was sad that her husband had stopped? It was true she didn’t want to have sex, but her husband not wanting it either stung her.
It was the first time they had progressed a little further than kissing. And he had stopped after just feeling up her a bit. Maybe he didn’t desire her enough to continue. Maybe she put him off, Keerthi thought bitterly.
She wanted her husband’s hands on her. Keerthi had a burning thirst for her husband. She was surprised at her thoughts. She had never wanted a man so bad. But she didn’t find anything wrong in it. Vikram was her husband.
Had Virkam stopped because he respected her boundaries or just because he himself didn’t want to proceed any further?
She sniffed, her heart hurting.
Vikram was almost sure he heard wrong when he heard his wife cry.
It was only when he heard her sniffing that he was alarmed.
Why was she crying?
Vikram grasped his wife’s shoulder, turning her around, her face stained with tears.
“Why are you crying?”, Vikram was bewildered.
Keerthi shook her head, looking down. Answering him would make her sound desperate. She wasn’t. She was just sad her husband didn’t want her.
Any girl would be.
“Keerthi”, Vikram’s voice came out sharper than he intended, making Keerthi flinch.
“It.. It’s nothing”, Keerthi hiccupped, unable to look into her husband’s eyes.
“Tell me if you have a problem”, Vikram hissed,”Or stop crying.” Virkam was already sexually frustrated.
Keerthi wiped her tears.”I am not crying.”
“And I am Santa Claus”, Vikram cocked an eyebrow.
“Just. I want to sleep”, Keerthi made effort to turn around.
“Fucking speak your mind for once. It won’t kill you”, Vikram snapped.
“Stop shouting at me”, Keerthi cried.
“Get the fuck away from me then”, Vikram snarled.
He hated seeing women cry.
His wife crying without giving him a reason was pissing him off. He wanted her to either tell him what her problem was or get out of his sight.
“I know that’s what you want”, Keerthi whispered, sitting up.
“What?”
“Nothing”, Keerthi said, as she stood up, making way to the balcony.
“I want to sleep”, Vikram hissed, grabbing Keerthi’s forearm,”Stop this drama now.”
Fresh tears made appearance on Keerthi’s face at her husband’s harsh words.”I am not doing any drama”, she answered softly.
“Then what the fuck are you doing now?”, Vikram was losing his patience, as he roughly pulled his wife to him. He was already sexually frustrated as it is.
Vikram closed his eyes, counting till twenty. He opened his eyes, asking her in a gentler tone,”Keerthi, will you tell me what’s bothering you?”
“Yo.. You don’t like me”, Keerthi burst out crying.
“What?”, Vikram stared at his wife, stunned.
When she didn’t explain further, Vikram sighed,”Why do you think that?”
Keerthi shrugged. This part, she wasn’t ready to confess.
“Keerthi”, Vikram spoke softly,”Stop thinking nonsense. Of course I do. You are my wife”, he confessed, feeling nice, putting a name to his feeling he had for his wife.
Keerthi frowned,”Are you lying?”, She looked up at her husband.
“I don’t have to lie to you”, Vikram gave his wife a pointed look.
Keerthi blushed, fidgeting with her hands.
Vikram cupped his wife’s cheek,”Will you tell me why you cried?”
The reason seemed stupid to Keerthi now.
“I thought you didn’t like me”, Keerthi said quietly.
Vikram frowned.
He wondered out loud why his wife thought that way.
“Um.. I.. You”, Keerthi stopped.
What should she say even, ask him why he stopped? Ask him why they weren’t doing other things? Apart from sex.
“I.. I don’t know”, Keerthi stammered, blushing at her thoughts.
Vikram clenched his jaw, getting an answer from his wife was such a pain sometimes.
“I am not going to ask again”, Vikram warned.
“You were being… distant when we went to bed.”
Vikram almost laughed out loud when he understood his wife’s unsaid words.
“Keerthi”, he looked at her amusedly,” You just have to ask”, Vikram teased.
Keerthi flushed bright red at her husband’s words, her cheeks a deep scarlet.
“Shut up”, she mumbled, slapping his chest lightly.
Vikram kissed his wife’s forehead,”I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with me. I can wait till you are sure you want it as much as me.”
Keerthi smiled at her husband,”I get it.”
Vikram was thrilled, was his wife ready?
“You are right. I am a bit apprehensive right now. I shouldn’t have put you in a position like that.”
Vikram deflated just like that at his wife’s words.
Why was she giving mixed signals?
He kissed her mouth gently, slowly moving his lips with hers.
As Keerthi went to sleep that day, the only thought running in her mind was, she was falling for her husband, fast and hard.