Chapter 7

Book:The Love In Marriage Published:2024-5-1

Keerthi visibly freezes in Vikram’s arms.
“Wh.. What?”, She whispers, desperately hoping to have heard differently.
Vikram gives her a pointed stare, willing her to answer.
Keerthi trembles, not knowing what to say. She knew men. It would be a jab to Vikram’s ego if she responded in negative. And she didn’t know what he was capable of, the thought worrying her. Though he seemed nice half the time and hadn’t misbehaved with her, she didn’t know if she could voice out her opinion. She didn’t know what he would do to her.
More tears leaked her cheeks, terrified.
Vikram was confused. Why was his wife crying as he had told her that someone had died? He didn’t particularly want to give her tears too much weight.
His wife cried for everything.
“Keerthi”, Vikram prodded gently. Though the sight of her crying was getting on his nerves, he decided it wasn’t the time to reprimand her for crying. It would just make matters worse.
“I.. I don’t kn.. know”, Keerthi whispered, her voice bearly audible.
Keerthi thought she gave a valid answer. She didn’t want to marry him. But Vikram didn’t exactly abuse her, yet. She wasn’t happy getting married. She wasn’t exactly happy being married. She was just unhappy she had to leave her mother so suddenly. Vikram was only a negligible part contributing to her mood.
She wasn’t exactly happy with her marriage.
She was just waiting. For the first slap.
She didn’t know how to express it.
“I asked you a Yes or No question”, Vikram snapped.
“Why are you asking such a question?”, Keerthi asked timidly, not wanting to answer.
She didn’t have an answer. She could do way worse than Vikram , and she was thankful for that. As of now.
But was she happy?
She was neutral, just scared. Ashamed of herself of being scared.
“Don’t talk in circles. I asked you something”, Vikram was losing his cool very quickly.
He ran a hand over his hair, creating some distance between his wife and himself.
Keerthi remained silent.
“I’ll take as a Yes then”, Vikram’s voice was clipped, anger and frustration evident in his tone.
“It.. it’s not like th.. that”, Keerthi whimpered, silently praying that things don’t turn uglier.
“What is it then?”, Vikram snapped, his voice sharp,”Stop crying Keerthi. I haven’t even said anything for you to cry like that. Behave like a mature adult.”
“I am scared”, Keerthi admitted in a small voice, never so ashamed in her life.
Vikram frowned,”I know it’s natural for a newly married girl to be a bit scared. But don’t you think you are overdoing it?”
“Not.. not that kind of scared”, Keerthi answered timidly.
“Scared as in what then? Did anyone trouble you?”
Keerthi shook her head in negative.
“Dammit Keerthi, stop testing my patience so much!”, Vikram was on the verge of exploding.
“I am scared you’ll hurt me”, Keerthi admitted quietly, her eyes tightly shut.
Vikram was stunned to hear such a reply.
“What?”, he couldn’t believe his ears.
“You are scared I will hurt you?”, Vikram pinched the bridge of his nose,” I am not that kind of man. My parents have raised me well. I am not going to touch you till we like each other. I have already said this on the night of our wedding. Why are you still holding on to it?”
“I.. I didn’t mean that either”, Keerthi’s cheeks coloured for an unknown reason.
“Fucking hell Keerthi. Just tell me what you problem is than leaving me to guess it. This crap is exhausting” , Vikram ran his hand over his hair, messing it a little.
He already had a bad temper, and his wife talking in riddles didn’t exactly help his case.
Keerthi was scared. Did she have to spell it out to him?
“I am scared you’ll hurt me physically”, Keerthi blurted out, not wanting to anger Vikram more than he already was.
“Is something wrong with you. I just said I am not going to..”, Vikram froze mid sentence, his wife’s words finally making sense.
He then understood why she flinched everytime they made the briefest contact. He just thought it was a different type of scared.
As he wiped his face, taking a seat on his bed, he wished he didn’t ask her that question.
His wife had baggage.
Something he didn’t want to handle. To him, marriage didn’t mean slaying other’s demons and fighting their wars. He didn’t sign up to be Keerthi’s therapist. He was her husband. Though he knew a couple should fight each other’s battles, he didn’t think he was cut out for such a role, not when he didn’t even have an opinion on their marriage yet.
For him, marriage was simple, good friends always having each other’s back with a lot of sex.
He got married to be happy. He didn’t think his wife could give him that. He was not here to fight her demons and make her fear free or any of that bullshit.
The husband and wife are different individuals, connected through a few similarities and differences. They had to amplify the similarities and respect their differences. Not fight each other’s battles and emotional damage. That, they had to work on individually.
Vikram sighed, closing his eyes. He knew it wasn’t as big of a deal as he was making it to be.
But he had to do a lot. He had to convince her he was not the same, take baby steps to do the same, show it in actions, gain her trust and what not and then they could be a normal couple.
He just hated all this special treatment and pampering he had to give her now. Most couples would already be husband and wife, bypassing all of this.
He just had to do so much work. He didn’t want to sign up for this. But since he already had, he didn’t want to give up so easily.
There were moments when he adored his wife, found her just so cute and out of the world.
But he wanted to talk to his wife before that. The marriage was useless if his wife didn’t share his sentiment, to make their marriage work.
He wanted hundred percent contribution from her side too, just like he would. It should be a team work. He didn’t want to be the only to make their marriage work, he expected his wife to contribute.
He knew he would crack otherwise. He didn’t commit any mistake to give Keerthi any kind of special treatment. Granted, he will be careful and a bit softer towards and try to make her comfortable now, but he couldn’t actually get into her head and nullify her fear. That, she had to do herself.
At the same time, he wanted Keerthi to put in effort just like he was willing to, get to know him, be his friend.
It would be useless otherwise.