Jack’s perspective
We have not heard from Dick since the last successful operation, but he got away.
Fay’s expression was getting more trance-like, so for now we had to go back, take care of our youngest son, and keep an eye out for news.
When he comes back, Fay often talks to herself, laughing and crying.
I was so worried about her that I took her to see a doctor.
“Doctor, what happened to my wife?”
“She became highly stimulated, which caused mental problems.”
“There is something wrong with the mind? What do you mean?”It can not be? I find it hard to believe.
“She is suffering from depression, and it has reached a very serious level. Her family should take care of her carefully and not let her have suicidal thoughts.”
“Suicidal? Doctor, you mean she will take it hard.”
“Hmm.” The doctor nodded vigorously, “The most serious manifestation of this disease is self-harm.”
My mood suddenly became even more irritable. I left the doctor with Fay, who was already a little mad. My heart was full of guilt. I held her in my arms, “I am sorry Fay, it’s all my fault. I said before that I would take good care of you and let you be the happiest person in the world. Unexpectedly, I also let you suffer from this horrible disease.”
Now she does not know what’s wrong with her, and she’s confused about my sudden behavior, “What’s wrong with you? Has something happened?”
I could not let her suffer any more, so I did not tell her and shook my head. “It’s okay, let us go home.”
She did not ask further, smiled and nodded, “Fine, we will go home, and when we get home, the two kids will be waiting for us.”
On the way there, she was very quiet, looking at the scenery outside the window. How I hope time can go back and return to the days when the whole family was together.
Back home, the servant brought out the youngest son, and Fay took him by the hand and spoke softly to him, “Little baby, be good, mother is here.”
The child slept peacefully in her arms.
Suddenly she looked up and around, and I asked doubtfully, “What are you looking for?”
“Where is Bill? Why have not you seen him?”
I suddenly froze, for I knew she was living in her own world and was in denial about the fact that Bill was gone.
I could not bear to hurt her, so I had to tell a white lie, “Bill, he went to school, did you forget?”
She had something of an epiphany, “Oh ~” Then she looked at the clock again, “Now it’s time for school, let us go and pick him up.”
With those words, she placed the child in the servant’s arms, stood up and walked out.
I quickly stopped her and had a flash of inspiration, “Bill, she has gone to Acacia’s house. He wants to play with his dear sister. He will not be back for a few days.”
Hearing my words, she finally calmed down and stopped asking.
Seeing that she looked exhausted, I lowered the volume and said softly, “Should we go upstairs and rest?”
She nodded dully. I took her upstairs, put her to sleep, went downstairs, and explained some important things to the servant: “In future, do not talk about the things about Bill in front of the woman.”
It was a year before Dick disappeared without a trace, as if he had never existed in this world.
Fay’s illness is getting worse, and she can no longer distinguish between fantasy and reality.
The doctor advises me to show her around.
Every day at home, with her pillow in her arms, she mumbled to herself as if that pillow were Bill.
I would walk up to her and she would look at me and not speak.
I took her in my arms, but she pushed them away.
“What’s the matter with you?” I asked doubtfully.
“You liar.”
“What have I done to make you call me a liar?”
“You told me in no uncertain terms that Bill was going to Acacia and would be back in a few days, but now it’s been a year and he’s not coming back.”
My heart crumbled into a ball, and it hurt like hell.
“He’s frisky.”
I suppress the urge to cry. I am a man, the pillar of my family, and the only person Fay can rely on. I can not break down.
“Does he want me for a mother? Acacia is so gentle, kind to children? Bill definitely wants to stay there. He will not be coming back in the future.”
“No, I assure you, no matter how good others are, they cannot change the fact that you are his mother.”
“Will he really come back?” She looked at me expectantly.
I had to nod, “Of course Fay, he’s going to play, let us go out to play.”
She shook her head uncomprehendingly. “No, I’ll wait at home until Bill gets back. He will not be happy if he does not see me.”
“He’s going to play at Acacia’s house for a while. We will go for a walk, and when we get back, he’ll be back.”
At my coaxing, Fay nodded half-heartedly and agreed.
After a quick pack, we were on our way.
We drove to Fay’s house to visit her parents first, and then planned to go somewhere else.
After seeing her daughter, whom she has not seen in a year and who has changed a lot, it’s hard for the two old people to calm down.
“My poor daughter, how can it get like this? Dick is in the wrong. How can he bear it like this?”
I was afraid they would arouse Fay’s suspicions, so I did not let them go on, “Mamma and papa, do not talk about it, this matter has nothing to do with you.”
After a few simple words, I left with Fay.
We were not driving, so I was going to take her for a walk.
“Do you want to go home?” i asked.
She looked ahead with blank eyes, shook her head, and said nothing.
We just walked aimlessly down the street.
Suddenly, Fay’s eyes lit up, and as a figure quickly skipped past her, she began to look around.
“Fay, what’s the matter with you?” asked I anxiously.
“I saw Bill.” She said a phrase like that, and then she tried to push me away and catch up.
I thought it was her sickness, so I hugged her tightly and whispered, “You are wrong, Bill’s not here?”
“Impossible, this is my child. How can I be mistaken? Let go of me. I’ll go and see.”
She struggled desperately, and I let go for fear of hurting her.
Without any restraint, she ran forward with all her heart, and I followed, fearing that she might be hurt.
After her persistent pursuit, she had indeed just caught the boy.
“Bill, it’s me, Mama.”
She grabbed the boy’s hand and tears fell from her eyes.
I looked at the boy in front of me, with blond hair and messy clothes.
My Bill also has black hair, and, he is the cleanest, it is impossible to get so dirty, although some of the body shape looked alke, but other aspects are not like.
“You let me go, who is your son, crazy woman.”
He speaks so rudely, I am firmly convinced that this person is not Bill.
“Fay, let go, he is not our child.”
But Fay could not listen to me and took his hand , “I will not let go, he’s my child, he has to be, how can I admit my mistake? Why not go home with your mother?”
The touching words did not move the boy before him. He said angrily, “You can go fuck yourself, let me go quickly. I have a lot of things to do. Do not stop me.”
Fay looked at him firmly. He was firmly convinced that the boy in front of him was his own child.
Suddenly, he shook Fay’s hand off hard. Fay’s center of gravity became unstable and he fell backwards. When I saw this scene, I was shocked and wanted to reach out and grab his hand. Unfortunately, the distance was too great, so I could only watch it fall.
Bang ~
With a loud noise, a large pool of blood appeared on the ground. I ran to her to take her in my arms and said, “Fay, do not scare me.”
Her eyes were still fixed on the teenager, “Bill, I am mommy.”
Seeing this scene, the young gentleman knew he was in trouble and fled in a panic.
She still grabbed my hand without giving up, “Go after him quickly.”
I could no longer hold back my emotions and screamed, “He’s not Bill, not our child. If Bill, he would not see you hurt and run away.”
“He’s just, just scared, that’s all.”
Her voice grew fainter and fainter, and gradually she lost her breath.
“Fay, do not sleep. I am taking you to the hospital right now. You are going to be okay.”
I called out to her nervously.
Fay, I beg you, be good, or I’ll never forgive myself in my life.