Lily’s POV.
Next day, I go to live with Emma for two days just so I don’t cross paths with Ryan and also because I was not feeling that well.
“Hi, Lily. Look Ethan, your favourite aunt is here.” Emma says.
“I think you are forgetting but I am his only aunt.” I say and see Ethan rush towards me.
“Aunt Lily, look what I made for Eve.” Ethan says as he shows me the scrapbook he made.
It has pictures of us family with names under it and some moments we had on different holidays. I did this for Ethan once just like Lucas did it for me. It is like a tradition in our family.
“It is beautiful and you are on point in some pictures.” I say as I show Emma a picture of Lucas cooking a meal for us which Ethan tagged as ‘Reasons we shouldn’t let Dad in the kitchen.’
We laugh at that and make fun of some of them. It really made some of my day. After Ethan is down for his nap, I tell everything that happened to Emma and also Ryan’s identity. At first, she was shocked but then she understood.
“Don’t you think you are giving up too easily?” Emma says.
“Believe me, it is not as easy as it looks.” I say.
“Then why not give him a second chance?” Emma asks.
“Did you not hear me? I don’t want to go through all that pain again.” I say.
“But what if you give him a second chance and he really falls for you. Don’t make rash or hasty decisions.” Emma warns me.
“I am not making any rash or hasty decisions. It is just that what if he never falls for me and breaks up with me. I can’t go through that again.” I say.
“Well you can’t make decisions on assumptions, especially about what and how he feels.” Emma says.
“But he said he doesn’t know what he feels for me.” I say.
“But he didn’t deny it either. He didn’t say in clear words that he doesn’t loves you, did he?” Emma asks.
“No.” I say in a small voice.
“Lily, I am not saying to do this or that. I am just asking you to think about your decision again. Don’t make decisions which you will regret later. I almost made that same mistake.” Emma says.
“When?” I ask as I look at her in shock.
“When I was in college and your brother was doing a job, we didn’t get much time with each other. Those three years were tough. I almost thought that we should break up as I felt that I was holding him back or maybe he is better suited with one of his colleagues whom I was jealous of at that time. But those were just my assumptions.” Emma says with a new smile.
“And how did you know that?” I ask.
“Lucas and I used to meet only on weekends and everytime it would be different from the last one. One weekend he asked me to move in with him in this very house. I was going to be in my last year of college soon and I can stay outside of campus by that time. Lucas taking that step made me realise that whatever time he was spending away from me was for me. He was just trying to make my life better and that is why he was not able to meet me for sometime.” Emma says.
“I didn’t know that you were thinking of leaving him?” I ask.
“When I told him that, he said he knew somewhere we were drifting apart but our love was not because we never actually wanted to let go of each other. From that day onwards I stopped myself from making assumptions because it can not conclude what you really want. It is just your deepest fear that makes you doubt something important.” Emma says.
“So you are saying I should just get back with Ryan?” I ask.
“It is all up to you. But think about it like if you don’t give it a chance you will meet someone in future with whom you could have a better life or not, or you get back with Ryan and he falls for you someday and your life changes forever. Think what you want, Lily. Every relationship faces some problems but that does not mean they end up just like that. If you really love him then don’t get scared by what will happen situations, which are not even there.” Emma says.
“I will think about it.” I say with a small smile after thinking about for few seconds.
“Great. Now let’s go make some dinner.” Emma says and I smile and help her.
I spend time with Eve as Emma makes some dinner. Eve is three months old and looks very fat, especially when she smiles and her chubby cheeks bunch up and I just want to kiss them. I played with her for sometime then Ethan. We have dinner and I really feel relieved that I am here.
On Sunday, we all go out for a small picnic and spend the day at the beach. We play volleyball in teams as boys vs girls and swim in the sea. Eve was jumping on the waves and giggled a lot. As we were coming back Lucas dropped me at my place and I waved them goodbye.
I was feeling so tired and sleepy by the time Lady and I were back in the apartment but all the sleep left my eyes when I saw my apartment. My apartment looks like someone puked flowers on it like literally.
Every inch of my apartment is covered with different colors and types of roses and lilies and tulips. I look at one which is at a nearby table which is the only one which has a card attached to it. I take it out and read it.
*’Tulips are asking for forgiveness, lilies show my devotion for you. I will let you decide what roses stand for as I want you in any way I can.’*
A small smile comes to my face and I don’t know whether I should be happy for his romantic side or creeped out that he invaded my apartment without my permission. I look at the roses and notice there is not a single rose in red color.
“Well I can at least decide that there is no red rose, so no love.” I say as I go up.
I take a hot shower and change into loose clothes. Ryan really didn’t know where I would keep all of these flowers and all these exotic scents are really making me feel a bit nauseous. I have to visit the doctor as I am late and if what I am thinking is true then everything changes between me and Ryan.
I love Ryan very much and I will be happier if I am carrying his baby. I would be on cloud nine only if we are on the same page in life. I don’t want Ryan to feel like I am trying to trap him but if I am pregnant I would have to know for sure if he loves me. And if he does then maybe there could be something good ahead or maybe great. I fell asleep while thinking about all that.
Next day, I actually empty my stomach first thing in the morning because of all the flowers. I have to take them out otherwise I won’t be able to keep anything down. I get ready and go out to have breakfast very early and after getting what I want from the drug store, I reach the office.
“Hi, Lily.” Vance says somewhat cautiously.
“Hi, Sir.” I say professionally.
“I would not be in office today as I am going out with my wife to my in-laws house.” Vance says.
“Okay. Anything else, Sir?” I ask.
He sighs and says, “Yes. Could you just think about Ryan one more time and maybe try to give him a second chance?”
“That is my personal matter, Sir.” I say.
“I know but I have never seen my friend this undone over someone before. Just think about it, please.” Vance says and I nod slightly.
“So anything else, really?” I ask.
“Uhh… Yes. Will you send someone to pick up Kathy’s reports from the doctor?” Vance asks.
“Sure.” I say as I make plans to get checked up there only.
After Vance leaves, I make an appointment with the same doctor and go to the washroom with the pregnancy kit in hand. For the last two weeks, I have been getting very hungry and craving food which I ignored before. But then missing periods and feeling tired all the time and hungry is something I can’t ignore, especially the nauseous feeling.
I take the test and wait dreadfully for five minutes. Those five minutes made me think about so many things. What if I am not pregnant then I would be disappointed but what if I am then I might be carrying my first baby. I start weaving stupid dreams over the course of that five minutes time.
But when I see the test, I panic and start getting nervous. It has two lines which according to the box says positive. But it is not completely reliable so I have to wait till my lunch break before I am hundred percent sure about it.
It happened with Emma once. She tested positive with a pregnancy kit but the doctor said it was a false alarm. I want to be double sure before anything else. The next few hours were going too slow for me and I got a call from Richard when I finally left the company at lunch break.
“How is everything?” Richard asks after we talk for sometime while I am riding in a taxi.
“Good. You say.” I ask.
“Well I was hoping Ryan would propose to Freya as soon as he took out the engagement ring from the vault after we came back from Greenwich but then he completely denied the fact that he is ever going to propose to her. I think he wants to keep it a secret for a while then make a big reveal on our anniversary to take our limelight.” Richard says and for a minute I don’t know what to say.
“Really? That is great.” I say distracted.
“Well nothing is confirmed yet but I would really like to see him settle down soon and give Heather and me some grandkids, so we can bounce some of them before our knees get rusted.” Richard says as he chuckles.
“Yes.” I say as I fake laugh at that.
Soon we hang up and I reach my destination. I take a deep breath and forget about what Richard said for now and decide to think about it later when I am done with this. I went inside after that and meet the doctor.
I take Kathy reports and my appointment starts after that. She asks me about some common things like periods, feeling tired and hungry and very sleepy. She takes my blood sample and says that I will know by this evening and tells me that she is sure I might be pregnant.
She also gives me vitamins for the time being and tells me that we will fix another appointment once the result is out. I nod along and listen to everything she says carefully.
I went back to the office after having lunch which she said I should not skip. I try to keep myself busy at work as I don’t want to think about it right now. I will think about it when the report comes this evening at my apartment.
That day I left the office at 6 and when I reached my apartment building, right then that hospital reports came. I take them with me and go towards the elevator and when it opens I see Ryan standing inside. I stash the reports in my bag and get inside but he doesn’t leave.
“Don’t you want to leave?” I ask as I look anywhere but him.
I hear elevator doors closing and feel it moving. I look up to see we are going to his floor and as I go to push the button for my floor, he stops me by grabbing my hand. He pushes me against the wall and I finally look up in his eyes.
“I will never ever leave you, ever again.” Ryan says with longing in his eyes.
I don’t know how but the next second we are kissing each other like there is no tomorrow. I don’t even care who started it but I do care it doesn’t end at all. For a minute there, I feel like I’m home in his arms and his lips are nothing less than water for my parched ones.
I hear ding in the distance and feel us moving but I am too busy kissing him to mind that. I feel a soft surface on my back as he lays me down and I blink my eyes open as I look up at him.
“We should not go any further than this, not until I get answers as I don’t want you to get upset or regret it.” Ryan says as he gently moves away from me.
“I should not be here to begin with.” I say as I get up.
“Can we not argue for a few minutes, not until you hear everything I have to say. Please.” Ryan says and my heart wants to listen to him and he deserves to have his say.
“Fine. But I would really like some water first.” I say as I look around to see something is different about his apartment.
I stand up and see Lady and Teddy coming out from where Ryan had gone. They come towards me and I see them wearing something cute. I smile and try to pat them as they lick my hands. My eyes stop at a showpiece that looks similar to something I have and I get confused.
Then I noticed a painting that I own, nothing famous, just the scenery reminded me of my time in Vermont so I bought it. But how come Ryan has the same one? I again get confused but before I could think anything else, Ryan comes with my glass of water.
“Here you go.” Ryan says and I finish the glass of water in one go.
“So what is this you want to say?” I ask.
“First promise me you won’t interrupt me until I am finished.” Ryan says.
“Okay.” I say after I sigh in defeat. Where Ryan is concerned my heart will make any compromise to get back with him.
“First come with me.” Ryan says as he takes my hand and moves towards the dining room.
“What are you doing, Ryan?” I ask as he takes to the rooftop terrace.
“Sit here first.” Ryan says as he makes me sit on the couch.
“Okay.” I say.
“No. Not here.” Ryan says as he changes my seat and now I have a view of the sky not the door.
“What is happening, Ryan?” I ask him as I get really irritated by his behaviour now.
“Okay we are ready now.” Ryan says and I swear I have never seen him this nervous.
“What is going on, Ryan? Why are you so nervous?” I ask as I get worried for him.
“A bit maybe but in a few seconds I won’t be, I think.” He says.
“What do you-” I start to ask but get distracted by fireworks which I really love very much and always get distracted by them.
I stand up and walk near the railing to enjoy it. Soon the fireworks start to reach their climax and one big firework writes a question in the sky and my eyes widen in shock.
It says, ‘WILL YOU MARRY ME?’ and a Lily flower firework is the last thing I see on the sky. I turn around to look at Ryan only to not see him there but down on his knees and that is the moment I choose to lose my consciousness.