I all but leap out of the hospital bed when I hear Ty’s words, my heart hammering so loud that I could hear it ringing in my ears. I stumbled over my own feet as I followed Ty through the hospital hallways, my mind racing with the endless “what if’s” that I had been trying to keep at bay previously. When he finally reaches a hospital room, Ty pushes open the door and I scramble after him, bursting into the room and settling my feverish gaze on the bed.
Lying there, hooked up to monitors, was Nathan. It was the first time I’d seen him since we got to the hospital, and watching him lay in that stupid hospital bed make my heart skip a beat. His eyes were shut and breathing deep and even, as if he were asleep. I felt an overwhelming sense of relief leave me when I realized he was still breathing, that he was still okay. Slowly, I took a few steps closer to him, examining the gash on his forehead and the medical gauze wrapped around his stomach.
“Is this Miss Collins?” A sweet voice asks from behind me, but I can’t take my eyes off of Nathan to examine its owner.
“Yes, this is Lauren,” Ty explains breathlessly.
“Miss Collins,” The voice says again, and I somehow find it in me to tear my gaze away from Nathan and turn to the source, a plump dark skinned nurse with a sympathetic smile. “I understand you’re Nathan’s girlfriend?”
“Yes,” I choke out, my gaze flickering back to his seemingly asleep body on the bed. “Is he okay?”
When I look back at her, she’s smiling softly at me again. “He’s actually made progress in the past few minutes. We just allowed Tyler to come in to see him, and after a few minutes of talking to him, Nathan began to twitch his fingers.”
My brow furrows. “How is talking to him making him move?”
“You see, when a human body is in a comatose state in this condition, there can sometimes be triggers to help the person fully come to,” The nurse explains.
Still, though, I’m confused; and as usual, I can’t keep the questions from bubbling out of my mouth. “Where do I come into this?”
She smiles again. “Tyler told me that he had mentioned your name when Nathan showed signs of life. We’re thinking that maybe if you speak with him, you could pull him out of his sleep-like state.”
My heart skipped a beat in my chest and I looked back at Nathan. They thought that I could wake him up? As I stared at his still body, I thought about how the last time he was awake, we were so happy together. I thought about letting him hold me, and I thought about our final kiss before he went to race, and I suddenly felt determination shoot through me. I needed Nathan back, and if the nurse thought I was the one that could get him back, then I would try.
I look back at the nurse and Ty and nod slowly. “Okay, I’ll try.”
She smiles wider. “Thank you, Miss Collins. We will leave you two alone, but if he wakes, please buzz the help button immediately. We need to check him for any brain damage as soon as possible.”
My heart tightened at the mention of possible brain damage, but I nodded anyway. Without looking at them again, I set my gaze on Nathan and walked closer to him. Hesitantly, I sat down on the chair beside his bed, and faintly heard the door shut behind me. My eyes were burning a hole through his face, grazing over the stitched gash on his forehead to his bruised jaw, ending at his thick lashes that were helplessly shut.
“Nathan,” I breathe, and almost immediately, I feel tears spring to my eyes. “God, you look like shit.”
I stop for a second, a half laugh, half sob tearing through me. Once I’m semi positive I’ve regained some type of composure, I open my mouth to speak again.
“I can’t believe Thomas did this to you,” I mutter sadly. “But Asher and I took care of him, so you don’t have to worry about that.” A very small smile pulls my lips up. “Asher said I broke his nose, but I broke my hand in the process. I know you’re going to be mad about that.”
I stare at him while I speak, feeling more and more discouraged when I don’t see him move.
“You have to wake up,” I say suddenly, my voice full of conviction, as tears burn my eyes again. “You can’t leave me like this. I love you, Nate. You can’t leave me.”
My hand carefully encloses around his, and I feel my shoulders begin to shake as I rest my head on the edge of the bed. The tears start streaming down my cheeks and my breathing becomes ragged as I completely lose it. Everything I tried to hold together just came crashing down until I just couldn’t stop crying any longer. The thought of losing Nathan was too much.
But then something happens. I feel Nathan squeeze my hand. It’s the faintest squeeze, but I recognized the sensation immediately. My head shoots up and I try to pause my sobbing, but hot tears still steam down my cheeks. Just when I think that I imagined it, I feel him squeeze my hand again, and then his eyes begin to flutter. My eyes widen as I stare at him open-mouthed, unable to form a coherent sentence for a moment.
“Nate,” I whisper breathlessly, staring at him in wonder.
And then his eyes open. His beautiful blue orbs stare at me in a daze, mostly squinted as the harsh hospital lights probably irritate him, but all I can see is the gorgeous, never ending sea of blue staring at me. Relief floods me all over, starting in my mind and ending in my toes until I finally feel my body relax.
“Lauren,” Nate croaks, his voice husky from his lack of speech.
Tears begin burning my eyes, but for the first time in awhile, they’re happy tears. My hand squeezes his, and my broken one places itself on top of them, to make sure he doesn’t go anywhere. I know the nurse said to ring her immediately when he wakes up, but I couldn’t help it. I was too selfish. I needed to be alone with him.
“You scared the shit out of me,” I breathe, letting out an uneasy laugh. “Don’t ever do that again, alright? If you died, I would’ve killed you.”
To my surprise, he cracks a smile and lets out a chuckle. “I’m sorry, kitten.”
I wasn’t actually mad at him, of course, but if I was, then that would’ve cleaned the slate. His eyes were shimming with that familiar boyishness that he somehow even had while he was lying in a hospital bed. His voice, although hoarse, was like music to my ears after seeing a silent Nathan after the accident. His smile was the most reassuring thing I’ve seen in awhile, and I couldn’t help but stare at him.
At some point, his vibrant gaze traveled down to my hand, and I see his beautiful smile turn into a frown, his brow furrowing and eyes calculating as his gaze zeroes in on the bandage. He uses his free hand to pick my hand up gently, making sure not to upset it, as he examines the wrap. I suddenly became sheepish when I realized I would explain to him how, exactly, I got that broken hand.
“How long have I been out?” Nathan murmurs, his voice distant.
“About a day,” I answer quietly.
His eyes flicker back to mine, and he raises his eyebrows. “How did you manage to break your hand in a day?”
I open my mouth to tell the story, but as if someone upstairs was looking out for me, the door opens to cut me off. Unfortunately, it’s the nurse who I promised to buzz the second Nate woke up, and I become sheepish all over again. She’s standing there with her arms crossed, watching us with a look on her face that screamed “you know what you’re doing is wrong”, and I smiled guiltily.
“Miss Collins, didn’t I ask you to page me right when Mr. Rhodes woke up?” She asks seriously, but there’s a sweetness in her voice that softens the blow.
Sheepishly, I excuse, “Yes, but I-”
She cuts me off with a slight chuckle as she shakes her head. “I knew you would want a few minutes alone, so I came in to check on you. I’m impressed you managed to pull him out of his comatose state so easily,” The nurse grins widely at Nathan. “You must really love this girl if she got you to wake up.”
My cheeks flamed the second she said “love”, considering I had yet to tell him that’s exactly how I felt about him. I expect him to refute the claim, but when I sneak a glance in his direction, he’s smiling softly at me.
“Yeah,” Nate murmurs. “I do.”
I’m pretty sure my heart just exploded.
No, really.
I stare at him in awe, my eyes wide in wonder as he confirms the nurses words so casually, like we were discussing whether or not he liked pasta. As I stare at him, lips parted, eyes wide, I’m not sure what’s racing faster: my mind or my heart. The unmistakable hammering against my chest is the only thing to let me know that I am, in fact, still alive after his confession.
“Miss Collins, I know you want to see Mr. Rhodes, but I have to run some tests first,” The nurse explains softly, placing her hand on my shoulder.
Nate continues to hold eye contact with me, his blue eyed gaze burning through me. I don’t want to leave, especially not after what he just said, so I just linger there for a moment longer, meeting his gaze. His lips pull up into a soft smile and he squeezes my hand.
“Do me a favor and go get some rest, alright? You look like you haven’t slept in days.” Nathan advises lightly, but I can hear the serious edge in his tone.
The boy is lying in a hospital bed with stitches in his face, broken ribs, bruises and cuts all over his body, and yet he’s worried about me getting sleep. My heart swelled even more with the familiar love as I looked at him with a small smile on my lips.
But because sleep is highly unlikely, I mutter, “No promises.”
I stand up and reluctantly take my hand from his and then redirect my gaze to the nurse, who is watching us with adoration sparkling in her eyes and a smile on her lips.
“The tests should only take about an hour, sweetie. I’ll let you know the moment you can come in again.” She says gently.
I nod once. “Okay, thank you.”
Reluctantly, I walk toward the door, my heart sinking further with each step I take. I don’t want to leave Nathan, especially when I only just got him back. And the fact that he indirectly said he loves me made it quite difficult to drag myself out the door.
“Lauren,” Nate’s voice calls from the bed, sounding almost accusatory.
I turn around and raise my eyebrows. “Yes?”
His gaze flickers down to my bandaged hand, and although I can see a smirk grow on his lips, I can hear the seriousness in his voice again. “Don’t think I let you off the hook. I expect a full explanation about what happened to your hand.”
I grin sheepishly and took one last good look at him, trying to remember his lively expression so I could store it in the back of my mind to remind myself he was okay. He was watching me with a soft, genuine smile, but the look in his eyes told me he didn’t want me to leave just as much as I didn’t want to go.
Eventually, the nurse ushered me out, and I stepped into the hospital hallway in a daze. After endless hours of restless worrying about Nathan’s condition, I finally knew he was okay. Well, as okay as he could be after recovering from the brutal car accident.
“So he woke up?” Tyler asks nervously, surprising me with his presence beside the door.
I turned and smiled at him. “Yeah, and he seemed okay.”
Relief floods his face, and I see him take a deep breath, letting out an airy laugh. “Thank fucking God.”
Feeling similarly relieved, I muttered, “I know.” I took a deep breath and shot him a smile, one that I could tell he needed. “The nurse said she needs to run some tests before we can see him again.”
Tyler nodded and stood up straighter, looking at me seriously. “Listen, Lauren…” His words came out much softer than I was expecting, the rawness in his tone taking me by surprise. “Having you here during the whole waiting process made it a lot easier. I know you were here for Nathan and not me, and we never talked much, but I really want to say thank you. For being here.”
The sincerity of his words strike me first, and before I can help myself, I step forward and wrap him into a hug. He hesitates before hugging back, clearly not used to affection, but stands still as he wraps his arms around me.
“I know how hard this must’ve been for you,” I murmur quietly. “I’m happy I could help.”
After a moment, we separate, and I match his grateful smile with a soft one. Tyler Rhodes wasn’t at all what I thought he was when I first met him; he wasn’t just some arrogant asshole, but he was a person who cared deeply about those around him.
“Nathan’s lucky to have you,” Tyler says through his smile.
I smile wider. “He’s lucky to have you too, Ty.”
I didn’t waste much time returning to stake out in my hospital bed, where my friends nervously awaited news. Asher was pacing about the room, Justin was sitting against the wall with his head in his hands, and Stephanie was staring blankly into space as she bit her fingernails. When I entered the room, all eyes snapped up to me, a mixture of fear and hope swirling in everyone’s expression.
As everyone held their breath for my answer, I simply smiled, and before even saying anything, everyone visibly relaxed. “He woke up and he’s okay.”
A collective sigh of relief washed through the room, and before I could blink, Asher latched himself onto me in a tight hug. He was mumbling nonsense into my hair, and I could barely hear him, but I caught one sentence that struck me.
“I told you he’d be okay,” He whispers and my mind is thrown into a whirlwind of memory.
I remember the moment that I held Nathan’s head in my lap, the moment when I was wrapping the strangers shirt to press against his cut, the moment when tears were leaking out of my eyes furiously and I could hardly see. Most importantly, I remember Asher’s constant string of assurance as he promised, it’s going to be okay, he’s going to be okay.
I hug Asher a little tighter and manage to whisper, “Thank you, Ash.”
He holds me for another moment before letting me go, a look of pure relief and genuine happiness washing over his face. “I need to call Vincent to tell him the news.”
I nod as my mind travels to my family. “I should call my mom and let her know, too.”
Asher smirks at me. “Does this mean you’re finally going to go home and shower now? Maybe sleep in an actual bed?”
“Not yet,” I grin cheekily. “I’m allowed to see Nate in an hour. No way am I leaving yet.”
He chuckles, shaking his head a little. “I would say you’re crazy, but I’m positive that Nathan would do the same for you. Hell, you’re both crazy.” His smile quirks into another teasing smirk. “Except Nathan wouldn’t break his hand throwing a punch.”
Despite the fact I have a broken hand, and that probably shouldn’t have been funny, I laughed anyway. It felt like I hadn’t laughed in ages. For the past eighteen hours, I’ve done nothing but worry, so much so that it took a heavy toll on me physically. My body was wracked with exhaustion, and my limbs felt extra heavy, like I was about to collapse any moment now from holding myself together.
Before calling my mom, I trudged to the bathroom, in need of a moment alone with myself. I shut the door carefully behind me and then leaned against it, screwing my eyes closed tightly. Nathan was okay. A small smile fell on my lips, and I let myself open my eyes again, feeling relaxation roll through my body. My eyes fell on the mirror in front of me, and the relaxation came to a halt when I stared at the girl I barely recognized as myself.
My hair hung limply over my shoulders in tangled waves instead of its usual, more polished look. My green eyes looked almost bloodshot, not to mention the dark under eye circles reminding me of my lack of sleep. My shirt, once the plain white vee neck I picked out to wear to the tracks, was stained by blotches of Nathan’s blood. To put it kindly, I looked like absolute shit.
But I couldn’t help but let my smile grow, because even though I looked like something out of a horror movie, Nathan still told me he loved me.
***
I don’t think an hour has ever been this long.
Justin and Stephanie left shortly after I had come out of the bathroom, and Asher decided to go home for some rest about a half hour ago, promising that he’d be back around six thirty. I finally managed to get Tyler to go home and get some rest, considering he was worse than me. His face had visibly paled, and even though it had barely been a full day, his cheeks somehow appeared more hollow than before.
I sat on the edge of the waiting room seat for fifty six minutes, my eyes darting to the clock every few seconds to see how much time had passed. Regretfully, most of the time, only seconds had passed instead of minutes. My phone had long since died, and I’m pretty sure I read every magazine in the entire hospital, so all I had to do was stare at the plain white walls and the other families inhabiting the waiting room chairs.
“Miss Collins?” The same sweet nurse from before says, her voice soft and smile softer. “You can see Mr. Rhodes now.”
I all but leapt from my chair, giving her a nod of thanks before dashing past her and toward his room. My heart was beating erratically in my chest, and I had no idea what I was so nervous about. I mean, it was just Nathan. Why were there butterflies in my stomach and anxiety gnawing at the corners of my mind?
When I stepped inside of his hospital room, the stale smell of sterilization hit me more strongly than it had the first time I was in here. I look to the bed and see Nathan and he looks better than before; his face regained some color, and now he was sitting up in his bed rather than lying down.
Nate met my gaze and smiled, but it faltered when he really looked at me. His concerned eyes took in my appearance like he was seeing me for the first time, his gaze flickering to my bandaged hand and then stopping on the blood stained shirt. His lips tugged into a frown, but I quickly moved over to him and sat in the chair beside his bed to distract him.
“Hey,” I say softly. “What’s the nurse say? Is everything good?”
He smiles, but it’s a tight lipped smile that doesn’t meet his eyes. “Aside from the broken ribs and stitches, I’m just dandy.”
My gaze flicks up to the stitches on his forehead, holding together the sizable gash he had received. I let my gaze float to his left cheek, where there were a few scratches, but they didn’t seem serious. I longed to reach out and touch him, just to feel him again, but his hard voice pulled me out of my daydream.
“Did you even go home after I got here?” Nathan questions, a strained edge to his voice.
I try to meet his gaze, but his eyes are firmly resting on my bloodstained shirt. “No, I didn’t want to leave until I knew you were okay.”
When I say this, it’s like a switch goes off. Nathan’s eyes flick up to meet my gaze, and I see them soften immediately. He just stared at me for a moment, letting his oceanic eyes bore into mine, before he shifted over on the hospital bed until he was on the edge.
“Come here,” He murmured, patting the now empty space beside him.
Very carefully, I climbed into the hospital bed with him, instantly reveling in the way his arm wrapped around my shoulders, or the way my side pressed against his, or how my cheek pressed into his chest. Finally, after what felt like ages of not being sure whether or not I would ever be able to feel like this again, I was in Nathan’s arms.
“Much better,” He mumbles against my hair, and his fingers graze my back soothingly in a circular motion. “You should’ve went home, Lauren. You look like you haven’t slept or eaten in weeks.”
I shut my eyes and, before I even think about it, whisper, “I was so scared.”
It was so quiet that I wasn’t sure he heard me, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted him to, but when I felt his arm tighten around me, I knew that he had.
“I’m sorry, kitten,” He whispers back equally as quietly.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” I tell him seriously, and when I feel familiar anger bubble inside of me, I sit up a little to look at him in his eyes. “It was Thomas’ fault.”
His face hardens immediately upon hearing Thomas’ name, and he says lowly, “I know.”
I, however, am confused. “You know?”
Nate nods, his eyes darkening. “When we started driving, after the first lap, I tried to slow down to get on the inside, but I couldn’t. I knew that fucker cut my breaks. I thought that maybe if I sped up, I could somehow let up on the gas during the drift and I would slow down, but…” I shut my eyes tightly. “It didn’t work.”
My heart tugged in my chest when I thought of how scared he must’ve been when he realized that his breaks were cut. I buried my face back into his shoulder, unable to even fathom how terrifying the experience must’ve been.
“God, Nathan, I’m so sorry,” is all I can mutter into his shoulder.
“It’s okay,” He’s quick to assure me, his voice no longer cold, but still low. “I’m just happy that I’m okay, and that you’re here.”
I don’t answer, but instead shut my eyes and let myself enjoy the feeling of his arms around me.
“Now, kitten, tell me how you managed to break your hand.” Nate says rather than asks, his voice regaining some amused playfulness.
I glance up at him with a sheepish smile, and I’m so happy to see vibrancy returning to his eyes, that I don’t even care about how idiotic this story makes me seem. “Well,” I hesitate, unsure how to say it, before deciding just to blurt: “I punched Thomas in the face, and I didn’t know how to make a proper fist.”
His face is blank for a moment, before a smile curls his lips upward, and his eyes shine with an emotion that looks like pride. “You punched Thomas?”
Now more confident in my words, I smile a little bigger, and nod. “I broke his nose.”
Nathan begins laughing, but has to stop shortly after, when he winces in pain from his ribs. Still, the pain doesn’t dull his smile, which he directs toward me, his eyes full of an intense emotion that I couldn’t quite place. It was like admiration and happiness all wrapped up in one.
“I wish I could’ve seen that,” He chuckles breathily, shaking his head. “I really am a bad influence on you, aren’t I?”
I roll my eyes. “If you were a bad influence, I would’ve at least known how to throw a punch.”
He lets out another airy laugh, not wanting to upset his ribs, and I smile at the sound. It felt good to hear Nathan like this- to hear him at all. I nestle my face further into his neck, becoming comfortable with Nathan wrapped all around me, and feel his arms tighten around my back.
My mood had gone from playful to somber as I lay in Nathan’s hospital bed, the faint sounds of the machines beeping, reminding me where we were. I could hear the unsteady beating of his heart from beneath the hospital robe he wore, and wondered why it was beating so erratically.
“Are you okay?” I murmur, my lips brushing against his neck as I spoke.
I moved my head back to get a good look at him, and I’m struck by the same intense emotion in his eyes as he looks back at me. His sea blue eyes are filled with it as they meet my emerald gaze, holding me captive right there. As I stare back at him, I realize what the passionate emotion hiding behind his eyes was.
“I’m great, actually,” He breathes, his voice low, so only I could to hear, even though we’re alone.
“Why is your heart beating so fast?” I ask, even though as I realize what he’s feeling, my heart begins to pick up pace just as quickly as his.
Nate smiles softly, all his attention on me. “Because I love you, kitten, and I needed to tell you that.”