My body reacted immediately to the feeling of his lips on mine. My eyes slid shut subconsciously, my heart began pounding wildly against my chest, and there was a haziness that entered my mind. All I could think about was how good his lips felt. His tongue coaxed my lips against before slipping into my mouth to deepen the kiss.
Nathan’s arms tightened around me and pulled me closer as my mouth moved in sync with his. I had to lean against his chest for support when I suddenly felt my knees buckle and legs wobble. But he pulled away after what felt like an eternity wrapped up into a few seconds and cold air hit my lips rather than his warm soft ones.
When I opened my eyes, Nathan was looking down at me with an expression I’ve never seen before. He looked confused but also satisfied. But this was Nathan and he was a macho man that didn’t like feelings and emotions, so his half smile contorted into a smirk a moment later as he glanced down at me.
“Who knew the good girl was a decent kisser?” Nathan muses with his face still inches from mine.
I blink at him in confusion, unsure how he could go from rude to decent to kissing me to rude again all in the cycle of a few minutes. And I admit that beings a little drunk didn’t exactly help my thought process. But even I couldn’t ignore the ferocious beating of my heart or the way my lips yearned for another kiss.
My eyes even dipped to his lips before meeting his gaze again. “Why did you do that?”
Nathan stared at me for a moment while his expression hardens. “It was either me or Thomas and I had a feeling that you’d be pretty angry tomorrow morning had it been the latter.”
I confused myself when I deflated and felt disappointed by his words. A small part of me wished that he would’ve said that he did it because he wanted to or because he feels the same weird feelings that I feel. But that small part was idiotic for ever indulging in the idea of Nathan being interested in me, so I tried to shake it off.
I was still leaning against Nathan for support, so I straightened up and attempted to stand on my own. He straightened as well as his calculating gaze studied me. “Right,” I say to steady my wobbling mind. “Thanks, I guess.”
His obnoxious smirk grew. “You want me to do it again, don’t you?”
My heart skipped a beat as the words left his lips because, well, he was spot on. But I recognized the playful glint in his eye and realized that he was just messing with me and tried to seem nonchalant as I scoffed at him.
“You wish,” I was painfully aware at how weak of a comeback I had given.
Nathan’s smirk widens. “It’s okay to admit it, kitten. I know that I’m the best looking guy in school, so it’s only natural to be attracted to me.”
“Shut up Nathan,” I settle for saying as a small smile falls on my lips.
Someone bumps into me as they pass and send me stumbling toward Nathan once more. He steadies me as I blushed uncharacteristically at the feeling of his arms around me again. I look up at him and saw him still smirking down t me.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He questions suddenly.
I frown at him and take a step away from him while hoping that people would learn to watch where they’re going. “I just told you that I don’t want to kiss you again!”
Nathan chuckles loudly as the sound rumbles from deep within his chest. “I meant that I’ll take you home.”
I felt my blush return and nod so I can avert my gaze from his before I follow him through the sea of teenagers in Brett’s house. While we were walking toward the front door, I think of home, and how my mother had already left for the next business trip, and I was sure that Luke wouldn’t be home for hours.
The realization made my heart clench uncomfortably and a frown etch itself onto my face. The thought of going home was really unappealing. Sadly enough, I would rather stay here with a bunch of asshole jocks than go back in that sad empty house. By the time we got to the front door, I tug on Nathan’s sleeve to tell him this.
Once we step outside, Nathan turns to look at me questioningly, and I look away from his inquisitive gaze to mumble, “I don’t want to go home yet.”
Although I’m looking anywhere but his eyes, I can feel his gaze staring at me. “Why not?”
“My house is sad,” I admit, and as my gaze connects with his, I can see his grey blue eyes frowning at me.
But nonetheless, he simply nods at me, and starts walking me toward his familiar black Mustang. Per my request, Nathan didn’t bring me to my house, but instead to the park. My eyes lit up when I saw the vacant swings that moved slightly in the wind and I stumbled out of his car to reach them.
Behind me, I heard Nathan laughing at me, and it was possibly the nicest sound I’ve heard all night. A moment later, he joined me on the swings, and I turned to study his profile. As I looked at his sharp jawline, which was lit up from the yellow light of the street lamps, I realized two things. One, that he was probably the most attractive guy I’ve ever met.
And two, he had just kissed me instead of Tess, his potential girlfriend, and I hadn’t even given her a second thought since I saw them in the bathroom. Nathan turns toward me and notices the frown on my face and asks, “What’s wrong?”
“Isn’t Tess going to be mad that you kissed me?” I blurt without a second thought as if the topic of our kiss was casual conversation material.
Nathan matches my frown as his brows furrow in confusion. “Why would she be?”
“Aren’t you two dating?” Again, I don’t quite think before I speak, and bring up the topic nonchalantly.
“Why would you think…” Nathan trails off as recognition dawns on him. “You think we’re dating because of what you heard in the bathroom.”
My mind was hazy from the drinks I had earlier and his not-so-straight answers only confused me more. “So you aren’t dating?”
Nathan shakes his head slowly. “No, we aren’t dating. She’s Vincent’s girlfriend,” And then his lips curl into a teasing half smile. “Why, are you jealous or something?”
I turn away so he can’t see my flushed cheeks and stare out at the playground silently for a moment. And then I turn back and meet his gaze squarely as I say, “I know what it’s like to be cheated on and I would’ve rather taken my chances with Thomas than help someone cheat.”
He regards me curiously as he studies me with the same intensity that his gaze always holds before he nods slowly. At the confirmation he gives, I look forward again to gaze out at the empty playground. The entire area was eerily quiet and lit only by the harsh glow of nearby streetlights. My feet were skimming against the ground with each swing back and forth as the wind pushed me gently.
“Earlier you said your house was sad,” Nathan says suddenly and I glance back at him. “Why?”
My fingers curl around the metal chain of the swing and I look out to study the empty playground again. “The holidays kind of suck,” I don’t know if it was because of the booze or the fact we were in a park at midnight and I didn’t really remember how we got here, but I keep going. “My father left around Christmastime ten years ago. It kind of tainted the holiday forever, you know? So my mom left town a few days ago and Luke is going to be partying all night and nobody will be home when I get back. It’s like home is everyone’s least favorite place this time of year.”
When I finish, I steal a glance at Nathan to see him watching me with a thoughtful look on his face, no doubt dissecting the information in his head. I wish I knew what pushed me to tell him about this, especially considering I hardly even spoke to Stephanie about my father. It’s always been easier to keep everything inside, and yet there was something about Nathan that made it so easy to let it out.
“Your house is sad,” Nathan agrees in a non-pitying type of way. And it made me happy. “I bet this helps.”
I look at him curiously. “What?”
He sweeps his hand across the empty playground. “This. Whenever I need to get out of the house, I like going somewhere quiet to be alone.” Nathan glances at me with a teasing smirk. “However, I can’t leave you alone, because you’re drunk.”
I was surprised when he reveals this tidbit of information with me about himself, albeit small, because he never talks about anything remotely personal. And as he spoke, I picked up on the relaxation behind his tone, like he was unguarded for once in his life. Even if he undermined the seriousness of what he told me, I still understood the meaningfulness.
“That’s probably smart,” I agree with a small smile before it falls and I take a closer look at him. “Have you been drinking? Oh God, you drove us here and I didn’t even ask first. Nathan, I-”
“I don’t drink and drive,” Nathan’s gruff voice interrupts. “Calm down.”
The roughness in his voice reminds me of the last time we spoke outside of Walmart, and the fake confidence that came purely from the booze seemed to flare up again. “You know, you were kind of an ass the last time I saw you.”
Nathan looks caught off guard by my sudden change in subject. “At the liquor store?”
“Walmart,” I correct lamely and continue speaking without a filter. “You’re a jerk sometimes and nice others. It’s hard to keep up with you, y’know.”
His surprise slowly melts into amusement. “You’re hard to keep up with too.”
“You have so many secrets!” I throw my hands up in exasperation as he chuckles at me. “You’re worse than me.”
The corners of his lips quirk into the half smile that I’ve grown to adore and I see a dimple appear on his cheek. He looked so hot when he smiled like that, genuine and all. “It just bothers you so much because you like to know everything. I think your curiosity is amusing.”
I scrunch my nose in mock distaste. “Thanks for finding me amusing, Nate.” He opens his mouth to make a remark and I continue, “Nobody calls you Nate, yeah yeah. But if you call me kitten then it’s only fair that you get a nickname, too.”
Nathan grins, clearly amused by my alcohol driven honesty and confidence. “I guess I’ll have to make an exception for you then. But only you.”
A huge grin stretches across my face and I can’t hep but feel my heart flutter. Whatever the case, Nathan sure wasn’t being a jerk anymore, and he was actually being genuine. “I’ll remember this conversation the next time you insist I call you Nathan.”
He chuckles, “By all means, kitten.”
“Why were you, though?” I ask suddenly as I remember the purpose of this conversation. My smile shifts into a frown slowly. “So mean?”
Nathan’s smile disappears with mine and he watches me carefully for a moment before he answers. “Why do you bother asking all these questions if you’re not going to remember the answers?”
“I’ll remember,” I insist stubbornly. “Why do you refuse to answer all my questions if you think I won’t remember?”
He sighs deeply as his jaw sets. “I don’t want you to get caught up with Holden or Mike. So it’s better to ignore you when I’m with them than to draw unwanted attention.”
I frown at him. “But it’s not like they don’t notice me already. We still see each other at lunch and at parties.”
Nathan mirrors my frown. “At parties? Did they talk to you tonight?”
“Holden was just being Holden,” I wave off his concern and get back on topic. “I don’t like your reasoning.”
He blinks at me. And after a second of blank staring, he presses further into his previous inquiry. “What did Holden say to you?”
I shrugged and averted my gaze. I felt too weird to look at him in the eyes as I explained. “He was just making his usual comments. I’m sure you can imagine what he said.”
“That’s what I mean,” I look back at Nathan when his voice is unexpectedly rigid and annoyance laces his tone. “You don’t deserve some sleazy guys to always be hitting on you. It’s easier just to avoid them when you can.”
I let the meaning of his words fly right past me and instead insist, “It doesn’t matter. I’m used to it.”
Nathan sighs. “You shouldn’t be.”
In an attempt to lighten the mood, I smile a little and say, “Besides, you hit on me sometimes.”
Nathan’s frown turns into a smirk a millisecond later. “Well, that’s different. I’m hotter and more charming than those idiots. You should feel special when I hit on you.”
I roll my eyes as his arrogance easily returns. “You keep telling yourself all that, buddy.”
He chuckles again as I look out toward the grass beyond the playground. The blades of withering grass were overgrown, that much I could tell in the moonlight. My gaze followed the ground until it ended at my feet, where I pushed off the dirt gently to move my swing back and forth. Nathan had been right: it was nice to be somewhere alone.
Or, at least, alone with supervision. I look back at Nathan to see him studying the field the way I had been moments ago. This is one of the rare times that he seems completely relaxed with his guard down. When he seems comfortable being himself. It made me happy that he was showing me this easy going side of him.
“Thanks for bringing me here,” I say quietly and suddenly. “You’re right, it is nice to be alone.”
Nathan shoots me that damn half smile again and my heart skips a beat at the sight of his pearly whites and dimple. “I know what it’s like to have a sad house,” He seems surprised by his own words and adds quickly, “I mean, you’ve met Ty. I have to live with that idiot.”
His distraction worked and I laughed easily. “He did seem pretty unpleasant the first time I met him. But hey, at least he’s persistent.”
He shakes his head. “He’s always like that, especially around anything with boobs,” Nathan glanced at me sideways. “You’re lucky to have Luke. He’s a good kid.”
I leaned my head against the metal chain and smiled lazily. “Yeah, but Luke isn’t as adorable as Bennett.”
He was silent, so I looked over at him to see him smiling with a faraway look in his eyes. After a second he turns to me and his smile grows and he finally opens his mouth to speak. “Bennett isn’t nearly as adorable as I am.”
When I laugh this time, my head spins, and reminds me that I was still under the influence. I was too busy genuinely enjoying myself as I sat on the swings in the park with the schools biggest and most mysterious bad boy. Right now, he was actually being real with me, and that alone distracted me from my light headedness and hazy thoughts.
“I know your house is sad,” Nathan says with a sigh. “But I think you should go home and get some sleep, kitten.”
I pout at him stubbornly. “But I don’t want to be alone yet.”
Nathan frowned at me as his eyes studied my face, which probably displayed my emotions clearly, considering I was a little too drunk to try to conceal what I was feeling. “Come on,” He stands up and holds a hand out to me. “I’ll take you home.”
I sit for another peaceful minute before I take his outstretched hand and allow Nathan to pull me onto my feet. He walks beside me off of the playground and to his black Mustang. I got in silently and leaned my head against the head rest the second I climb in, taking pleasure when it eases the discomfort in my head.
When he pulls down the street toward my house, I groan dramatically. “I’m not even tired.”
Nathan chuckles. “Your eyes were just closed.”
I shake my head at him even though he was right. “Seriously. I could run a marathon right now if I wanted to.”
“In that dress?” Nathan smirks as he casts me a sideways glance and his smirk widens when he sees my face. “That might be a little difficult.”
“Touche,” I mutter. “I seriously need to put on pajamas as soon as possible.”
“Aw man,” Nathan complains with the same wicked grin on his face. “I was hoping that you’d wear that dress forever.”
I ignore the warning of my cheeks and tell him seriously, “I think I would die from suffocation if I wore this dress forever. Consider yourself lucky you saw me in it in the first place.”
“I do,” Nathan tells me cheekily, “I like it quite a lot.”
When we pull in front of my house, the windows and inside were dark, confirming my suspicions that Luke wasn’t home yet. I glance at the digital clock on the dashboard and saw that it was past one thirty in the morning. Chances were that Luke wouldn’t stumble through the front door for a few more hours, like he usually did.
I expected him to say goodbye and send me on my merry way, but when I opened the car door to get out, he shut the engine off and got out as well. I stood up and shut the door before looking at Nathan in confusion from above the car. “What are you doing?”
He raised his eyebrow questioningly. “You don’t want to be alone, right?”
A genuine smile stretches over my lips when he says this and I nod. We walk to the front of my house together and for some reason, despite the fact that the school’s biggest bad boy was at my house at one in the morning, I felt completely at ease. It was probably from the booze, but nonetheless, I was totally relaxed.
I grab my key from behind the flowerpot and struggle to put it in the lock as Nathan teases, “Now I know where you keep your key. I can break into your house any time I want.”
Finally, I shove the key in the lock and walk inside. “As long as you don’t steal any of the cookies my mom made then knock yourself out.” I drop the key on the table by the door and turn around to look at Nathan. “I’m going to put some sweats on. I’ll be right back.”
I stepped out of my heels before I padded up the stairs and to my bedroom. I pick out my favorite pair of grey sweatpants and a cotton black tank top and throw both items on quickly. I slide my feet into a pair of fuzzy green socks that my mom brought me back from Chicago a few weeks ago before heading back downstairs.
As I was walking down the stairs, I ran a hand through my curled blonde hair, and thought about putting it up in a bun. My thoughts were interrupted when I saw the foyer where I had left Nathan was empty and my heart deflated. Did he leave? I peaked out the window by the door and see his car still parked out front and decide to explore the kitchen to find him.
When he isn’t in the kitchen, I move onto the living room next, and find him stretched out on the couch. Nathan was leaning against the plush cushions as the TV illuminated his features and he scrolls through the channels. The sound was on so low that I could barely hear, and when I sat on the couch beside him, I grabbed the remote from his hand to turn it up a little.
I lean back into the couch and return the remote to Nathan so he can continue flipping through the channels. He finally settled on Step Brothers, an absolute classic, and we talked about our favorite scenes briefly. It felt like only seconds passed before we started talking about meaningless nothings, but although meaningless, they were still interesting.
“What’s your favorite movie?” I asked after a few minutes of discussing Step Brothers. “Old or new. Just the absolute favorite.”
Nathan answers easily, “Shawshank Redemption.”
I laugh lightly at the title and murmur, “That sounds like a really intense zombie video game or something.”
“You’ve never seen it?” He asks me incredulously.
“Nope,” I mumble tiredly.
“You have to see it,” Nathan’s voice became softer, like he was aware of my tired state. “I’ll get you to watch it eventually. You would like it.”
A lazy smile stretched across my lips. “Yeah, maybe the same day you’ll get me to ride on your motorcycle.”
Nathan chuckles at my sarcasm and asks, “Well, what’s yours?” When he sees the confusion in my expression, he explains, “Your favorite movie.”
“Casablanca,” I answer just as quickly and with as much conviction. “It’s a classic.”
The truth is, a lot of the things we talked about this night didn’t matter. They weren’t answers I was actually looking for, like the secrets Nathan Rhodes was keen on keeping or anything like that. They were just the little things. And even though they were the little things, I still stayed up until three AM curled on the couch beside him as we spoke in hushed tones about them.
And eventually, right as I was on the brink of sleep and my eyelids had officially slid shut and the sounds of the TV faded, I hear Nathan’s soft voice right beside me. “Goodnight, kitten.”