Alex’s POV –
We’ve barely been awake for a hour but her voice is starting to turn sleepy again. I stop talking and simply look at her, the beauty of her beautiful grey eyes and dark lashes. Her full lips look extremely inviting but I force myself to refrain from kissing her, again.
The first kiss was unreal.
I’ll never forget the way her lips felt against mine, the excitement that built inside my chest. I’ve never kissed a girl and had my body react the way it did. It took all my strength not to grip onto her beautiful body, stroking and caressing her with my fingers. The way she took control of my hands, her moves confident and smooth. I’ll never forget that.
My heart swells a little and I pause, frowning at myself. What the hell was that? I experience the emotion inside my stom-ach for the millionth time in the past hour, fear. Fear of falling for this girl, fear of being rejected once she knows who I am.
She doesn’t know much about me, she doesn’t know what I’m capable of. Her innocence is too pure for me to taint. I walk around with the blood of my victims on my hands, staining the skin forever. Once Ariana knows who I really am, I’m afraid I’ll be too deep to deal with her rejection. I trust you.
Those were her words. Her words to me.
How can someone trust me? I don’t deserve someone’s trust. I don’t deserve Ariana’s trust. I lie next to her in awe, disbe-lieving that a girl like her could be mildly interested in a guy like me. I can see the pain behind her eyes, see the pain drip-ping off her every word she speaks. I know she’s been through turmoil and I want to kill the person who hurt her.
There it is again, fear.
Fear that I’m falling too fast, too quick. I don’t do feelings. That’s not who I am, that’s not who Papa wants me to be.
“Fuck,” I mumble, frowning deeper. I sit up and turn my back on her, resting my arms on my knees. Behind me, I feel her sit up, pulling the covers around her.
“Alex, I don’t want to lie to you.”
I don’t turn towards her. I simply close my eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply.
“Bueno. I don’t want you to lie to me either.”
“So why won’t you look at me? What are you afraid of?” She whispers, sounding fragile and vulnerable. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, struggling to hold in my fears. The simple sound of her voice makes me want to open up, tell this girl everything.
“I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt you hermosa. I’m evil, I’m the darkness. I have the ability to be your worst nightmare. Do you know that?” I ask her firmly, whirling around to look into her eyes. She’s staring back at me wide-eyed, her lips slight-ly parted in shock. She looks like a deer caught in headlights and all I want to do is wrap my arms around this girl and pro-tect her from this world.
“If you ever become my nightmare, I’ll leave. I promise you Alex.”
I inhale deeply, internally fighting with myself. Her words are spoken with truth, persuading yet pleading. I reach out and take her hand in mine, never breaking eye contact once.
“Ariana, listen to me.” I say firmly, wanting her to understand. If there’s any way I can prep her to become part of my dangerous lifestyle, I will. She looks back at me so innocently, a glimmer of pain flickering behind her eyes. That flicker of pain never disappears and I want to uncover her every secret until I can make it right for her.
“I’m listening,” she says quietly, her hand trembling in mine. I nod slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat before I con-tinue. My mouth becomes dry and I can feel my heart thumping against my chest.
“I’m dangerous hermosa. You can’t even begin to imagine some of the things I’ve done. I know you’re running away from darkness in your life. I see the pain behind your eyes but I want you to know, I’m darkness too. I’m the worst type of darkness you can imagine. Do you understand that?” I warn her off, part of me hoping she’ll reject me and walk away now. Whilst it’s early.
She simply stares at me and moments pass between us that are filled with silence. I keep a tight hold of her hand, forcing myself to hold eye contact with her. I’m waiting to see the regret flash through her eyes from meeting me but it never comes.
“Alex, it’s pretty clear that you’re involved in some crazy shit. I mean, look at you.” She gestures, the corner of her lips twitching up. I frown and glance down at myself, confused.
“What do you mean by that?”
She rolls her eyes playfully and I’m simply shocked that she’s reacting to my words this way. I watch in awe as she inches towards me, her other hand reaching out to touch my chest. She traces over my tattoos and I hold my breath as I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of her soft fingers.
“You’re covered in scars Alex.”
I pull back, trying to mask over the pain in my eyes. I don’t make an effort to hide my scars because they cover my entire body. The worst of them are covered with dark tattoo’s, mainly the ones on my chest. Each scar holds painful memories, memories I use to fuel my anger on a daily basis.
“I still think you’re beautiful,” Ariana whispers, reaching up to place her hand on my cheek. My breathing shallows out as I look down into two magical swirls of grey storms.
“Gracias hermosa.”
“All I want to know is one thing,” she says quietly, her eyes flickering between both of mine. I place a hand on her waist, unable to stop my hands from touching her. I want to do more but I need to know her answer first.
“Name it,” I murmur, my eyes fixated on her lips. I inch closer until I’m hovering over them, feeling myself lose the ability to think.
“Will you ever hurt me? You, not your lifestyle,” She whispers, her warm breath hitting my lips. I immediately shake my head, the answer rolling off my tongue.
“Never. I promise you hermosa, never.”
Instead of running away from me, she closes the distance between us. I want to question her, ask her why she wants to be a part of my dangerous life. My thoughts are practically non existent as I feel her press her lips against mine, melting my every worry away.
“That’s all I need to know,” she breathes out against my lips. My stomach flips itself and I grin widely at her answer. It’s my turn to grab hold of her waist, pushing her backwards until she’s lying flat on the bed. Her eyes darken with passion and I can feel myself begin to lose control, from one look. I hover over her, my eyes shamelessly drinking in her body. I can feel myself going crazy at the mere sight of her, sprawled out underneath me.
“Loco. You’re going to drive me loco hermosa.”