“I love this place!” I smile in awe, inspecting the oak flooring and white walls. If I close my eyes and imagine all my furni-ture in here, this place could be insane. The wall on the far end is covered in skyscraper windows, lighting the rooms up beautifully. The ceilings aren’t high but high enough and I imagine a chandelier hanging above my dream couch.
“It’s one of our best apartments going at the moment, the kitchen is simply beautiful too,” the estate agent states, walking ahead of us. I follow him, Alex close behind. As soon as I enter the kitchen, my smile grows wider.
White modern kitchen units line one side and there’s a ceramic oven with a built in extractor hood. The floors are a shiny black marble and the entire kitchen is brightly lit with the windows running along the side.
“Oh my god, this kitchen is perfect!” I gush, opening up the drawers and inspecting inside the oven. Everything is brand new, ready to be used by its new owner.
“How soon can I move in?” I beam, turning back towards the estate agent. He chuckles at my keen reaction before notic-ing Alex glaring at him behind me.
“I’ll finalise everything with the owners and I’ll be in touch in the next few days.” He says professionally, clearing his throat. I let out a little squeal, clapping my hands together. In that moment, his phone rings and he holds up his hand whilst answering it, taking a few steps away from us. I spin around, facing Alex.
“What do you think?”
“It’s alright, I suppose.” He shrugs and my posture deflates, my eyes narrowing at him.
“You don’t like it?” I question.
“Does my opinion matter? If you like it, move in. It’s pretty simple.”
My eyebrows shoot up at his sudden hostile personality and I slowly nod.
“Wo-ow, okay. Did you just get your man period?”
Alex stares at me in disbelief, the corners of his lips twitching. He takes a few long strides until he’s stood directly in front of me, leaning forward so that his palms are resting on the kitchen counter. I gulp as I notice I’m trapped between his strong arms.
“Let me move in with you.”
That is the last thing I expect him to say.
My jaw drops open and I simply stare at him, my eyes wide.
“W-what did you just say? Are you crazy?”
“No, I want to move in with you.”
“You hardly know me Alex.”
“People move in with each other all the time, we can split the rent. Separate rooms unless you want to stay in mine…” Alex drifts off, a smirk plastered on his face. I continue to stare at him in disbelief, unable to form a proper sentence.
“I-I can afford the rent.” I stutter, my mouth becoming dry. Living with Alex, is he crazy to suggest such a thing? How could I possibly live with him?
“Can you? You work in a coffee shop hermosa. Did you see what he’s advertising this apartment for?” Alex asks me and I scowl at his intimidating tone. I don’t reply and instead shove his chest, attempting to move him backwards. He barely flinches.
“I. Can. Afford. The. Rent.” I argue back, narrowing my eyes at him. Alex continues to smirk down at me, brown eyes sparkling mischievously.
“Yo, Mr Real Estate?” Alex yells, his voice echoing through the empty apartment. He turns his head briefly however his eyes remain fixed on mine, ready for my reaction.
“Yes?” The guy answers, his voice floating through the air.
“Can you remind us how much the rent is again, per month?” Alex yells back and I widen my eyes at him, shaking my head. Alex pauses, waiting for his response.
“One thousand, one hundred. Without bills.”
My jaw drops open until it almost hits the damn floor. Alex fully turns back towards me, his face smug looking and proud. He leans down until his lips are hovering over mine and I lose the ability to breathe. My lungs and throat tighten and I feel myself swoon underneath him.
“I told you,” he whispers, his warm breath hitting my lips. I close my eyes and inhale deeply, shoving at his chest again.
“I can find somewhere else.” I murmur, the disappointment filling my voice. I can’t afford that. Alex is right, I work a min-imum wage standard coffee job. It’s nowhere near enough to be able to afford an apartment like this.
“Let me rent it with you, problem solved.” Alex argues back, using his smile to win me round. I have to admit, his smile is a deadly weapon tool for persuasion. I shake my head, dipping down and escaping from his hold.
“I can’t do that.” I repeat over and over again.
“Why not?” Alex frowns at me, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms over his broad chest. I pinch the bridge of my nose and inhale deeply.
“Because Alex! You scare me. Being around you scares me.” I admit, opening my eyes to see his reaction. His face is emotionless, eyes staring straight through me.
“You’re afraid of me?” He questions, his voice dangerously low. I nod my head, gritting my teeth so tightly, my jaw begins to hurt.
“Why?”
“I can’t tell you that.” I whisper quietly, spinning on my heel and heading for the exit. I need to get away from him and away from this apartment. I don’t want to admit it but I’m afraid of what I see in his eyes. I see my future. I see us living together in this apartment, I see us smiling and laughing, I see us both happy.
That scares the living crap out of me.
Within seconds, I began to vision my future. Completely opposite to the way I’ve pictured it the past few months. How does he have the ability to change my plans within seconds How can I have such little control when it comes to Alex?
“He’s a stranger Ariana, he’s a stranger,” I mutter to myself as I press continuously at the elevator buttons, begging for the doors to close. I need to get out of here and get away from Alex. I need to go back to living my normal life without sexy voices and shivers and danger.
I need normal, I need… boring.
I breathe out a sigh of relief as the doors close and I lean back, picturing Justin’s face inside my mind. Justin is normal. Justin is my normal. The doors open and I step out into the lobby, avoiding eye contact with the woman sat at the front. I immediately head for the doors and push them open, grateful for the warm air that greets me.
“Ariana!”
“Justin,” I whisper, rooted to the spot. He’s still wearing last night’s clothes, dark bags underneath his eyes. His hair is a mess on top of his head and he’s clutching his phone like his life depends on it.
“Where the hell have you been?” He yells, pulling me into his chest. I struggle against his tight hold, confusion covering my features.
“I had an apartment viewing today, you know that.” I mumble into his shirt. He pulls back, disbelief filling his eyes.
“You went missing for the entire night Ari!”
“I went back to a friend’s, I couldn’t find you.” I mumbled, dropping my gaze to the floor. I was so caught up in Alex and the apartment, I forgot to text Justin. Justin’s eyes drift down my body, on the clothes that aren’t mine, last nights heels, smudged makeup around my eyes.
“Which friend? I asked around and no-one had seen you. Where the hell did you go Ariana?” He questioned me, his eyes narrowed. He takes a step back, curiosity and fear filling his eyes.
“You left me, outside the club.” I murmur, avoiding his question entirely. Flashbacks of last night pour through my mind and I inhale deeply, wanting to block them out of my mind.
“There was some guy. He was trying it on with me, I tried to text and call you. You never answered, where were you?” I ask him, my hands trembling slightly by my sides. Justin runs a hand through his hair, avoiding my gaze entirely.
“I don’t remember. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“A friend saw me and let me go back to theirs and sleep it off. Nothing else happened,” I said quietly. Justin nods slowly, his eyes landing back on my clothes.
“Are they hers? I’ve never seen you wear them before.”
I want to tell him the truth. I want to tell him that these are Alex’s several hoes clothes that I’ve borrowed and I was in fact asleep in his bed all night. I open my mouth to correct him but I can’t. I don’t want to hurt him, not like that.
“Did that guy do anything to you? Did he hurt you?” Justin murmurs, reaching out for my hand. I shake my head, remem-bering how Dimples let me go in the street. He didn’t hurt me but almost did.
“Thank god, last night was crazy. Some dude was beat up outside the club when we left. Blood pouring all down his face.”
I’m barely listening to his words. All I can feel is guilt, guilt for lying to him.
“Where did you go? You’re still in last nights clothes,” I say, pulling back. That’s when I notice the guilt sprawled across his features. It lasts for a few seconds before he masks it over, disguising it. I frown and take a few steps away from him. Justin reaches out for me again, hurt filling his features as he notices my hostile body language.
“Justin?” I question him, my voice quiet. He inhales and exhales deeply, his eyebrows creased together in distress. His eyes flicker up to meet mine and I can see the guilt practically eating away at him.
“I’m so sorry Ariana. I am so so sorry.”
He doesn’t need to tell me more.
I scowl at him, my face scrunched up in pain as I take several steps back to create distance between us. I shake my head, balancing myself up using the wall.
“No, no. . . ” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I hear him shuffle next to me and I snap my eyes open, glaring at him as I feel the anger build up inside me.
“You promised me Justin! You promised me you would never cheat on me!”
I’m aware I’m full on yelling at him outside the apartment block, in broad daylight. Justin has always had a wondering eye but I always put it down to just that. . . Until he acted on it. He marches up to me, forcing me to hold his hand.
“Ari, I know I promised you! Oh god, I’m so sorry. I was so drunk and she was there and you weren’t — ”
I yank my hand away from him, my chest squeezing tightly with pain. I remember catching him sending a flirtatious mes-sage months ago to someone but he promised me it was nothing more. Despite being heartbroken, I took him back like the idiot I am. I feel like a complete fool, made to look like a mockery by him.
“So that makes it okay? Because I won’t let you have sex with me? Who the fuck was it Justin?” I scream at him, tears building up inside my eyes. His eyes plead with me, begging me to give him another chance.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says desperately, reaching out for me again.
“Tell me!” I yell, my voice cracking.
“Kirsten,” he whispers quietly, his voice full of shame. His eyes drop to the floor and I suck in a breathe, feeling like I’ve been punched in the chest. Damn. . . Talk about a double blow.
“You cheated on me with my friend.”
“Ariana, you have to understand it was the biggest mistake of my life! I love you! God, I love you so -”
I pull my hand back and connect it with his cheek, the sound of my slap echoing in the air.
“Screw you. Or better yet, go screw Kirsten, again.” I hiss, turning and walking away from him. My hand flies up to my mouth and I let out a sob, tears flowing down my cheeks.
“Ariana! Please!” Justin yells, running back up to me. He grabs my arm, whirling me around. I begin lashing out at him, struggling against his tight hold.
“Get the fuck off me Justin! You asshole! I hate you!” I scream, my chest heaving with sobs. I can’t see through my blurred tears, all I can feel is pain.
“Baby, please! I can make it right, give me a chance!” Justin pleads with me, his voice rising as he becomes desperate. My body is shaking with sobs as I sink to the floor, covering my face with my hands. Justin kneels down beside me, wrapping me up in his arms. I freeze, hating the scent coming from him.
“Get away from me!” I scream, too weak to shove him away from me. He ignores me completely, his hands stroking my hair. I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want his dirty hands anywhere near me.
“Please Ariana, it was a mistake!”
His body immediately leaves mine. I look up, gasping as I see Alex standing in front of me, gripping Justin in a tight hold. Justin’s eyes are wide with fear, desperately trying to claw at Alex’s strong hold.
“She told you to leave her alone,” Alex says calmly, inching his face closer to Justin’s. His eyes are two black pits, mouth turned up into a snarl.
“Why the fuck is he here Ariana? What is going on between you two?” Justin yells, turning his face towards me. I scoff, standing up uneasily on my feet.
“He’s my friend but I don’t need to explain myself to you, not anymore. It’s over if it wasn’t already obvious. I say firmly, pain invading my heart. Justin’s eyes widen and he lunges towards me but Alex’s grip tightens, yanking him back.
“I wouldn’t dare do that if I were you,” he threatens him quietly, his words dripping with danger. Alex turns towards me, his face softening considerably. I can feel my hands trembling by my sides, the anger being replaced by heart ache.
“Can I hit him? Please say I can hit him.” Alex asks me, his jaw clenching and unclenching by his side. I take a look at Jus-tin, at the face of the boy who I’ve spent happy memories with for the past year. He’s looking at me pleadingly, his eyes wide with terror. Alex looms over him, the muscles in his arm flexing as he continues to hold him tightly in place.
“No, he’s not worth it,” I whisper, brushing away a fallen tear. I blink several times, getting rid of the pain on my face. I don’t want to give Justin the pleasure of seeing my cry. A small victorious smile spreads across Justin’s face and he turns back towards Alex —
“You heard her, let go of me.”
Alex does let go of him but not before swinging his fist back and punching Justin straight in the face. Justin immediately falls to the floor, groaning and clutching his nose. My mouth drops open as Alex turns towards me, shrugging his shoul-ders.
“Oops, my hand slipped.”
“Right, okay,” I mumble, unable to think straight. I turn around, ignoring Justin’s pained cries and screams for me to take him back. I keep on walking until the sound of his voice has almost disappeared, growing quieter and quieter. I keep walk-ing until the buzz of traffic rings through my ears. Every sound around me intensifies as I come to terms with the fact that Justin cheated on me with my friend.
He was my first boyfriend and the only male in my life to treat me good, occasionally. I pictured Justin as the light in my life, the guy to pull me out of the darkness I was trapped in. He gave me confidence, he showed me affection and love. . . So I clung onto him despite all of the red flags.
It was beginning to be the worst decision I ever made.