… Tyler POV…
As I see her drive out the driveway, the tears that have been threatening to consume my eyes and edge their way down my face come rolling with such great force. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me into the room, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the wall. The very bed that we made love on is torn to shreds until there is nothing but small pieces of fabric scattered over the floor. The chair she sat on where she so elegantly took those red stilettos off, finds its way through the window, glass shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror where she watched her reflection, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand.
I lay complete destruction to everything that is and was a part of her until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought of her. And when she returns into the passages of my memories, I shall do it again and again until every trace of her has been taken from my life.
But this thought only but exists for a few moments, and she finds her way back into the very place I do not want her to be, she is in my head, and I want her out.
… Jenna POV…
I am standing at the intersection to turn left or right. Either way, I take it will mean a new start to my life; it is up to me to make a good or a bad choice. I have made nothing but bad choices for the past six months; the biggest one of all is treating the people that really love me like garbage and throwing my body at all the ones to whom I mean nothing.
I need to make a choice and decide what type of life it really is that I want.
My mind is made up.
I am going right.
The drive starts off with a lot of crying, but if I cry, it means that I am crying because I feel sorry for myself. I must cry because I repeatedly cheated on Tyler, and he kept taking me back, I must cry that I finally broke his heart, and I don’t know if he is ever going to be okay. I must cry for Tyler, not because I lost him; I must cry for what he is going through.
I am a selfish two-timing whore.
After crying halfway through the drive, I start reflecting on all the good memories in Kirkcudbright. The only good memory is the face of one man, and I messed that up. I was so determined to run away from Brendan that I stopped being a woman; I stopped being a person. I am ashamed of myself.
After what seemed like forever, I am finally here. I am going to grab a drink and relax at the pool; I will pack out later.
“Can I please have a glass of wine?”
“Sure thing.”
“Is it your first day here?”
“Yes.”
“How long are you staying for?”
“Only until I find a more permanent place of my own.”
“Well, I hope you enjoy it here.”
I took a right; right was away from Tyler, but it was also away from Luke. My heart might before now, but it will get better.
I am nearby the city in some kind of resort until I find a place I want to settle down in and stay for good.
“You look like what I have been doing the whole day.”
I am startled by a woman sitting down next to me.
“Sorry, you don’t mind if I take a seat?”
“No, not at all.”
“Name is Sarah.”
“Jenna.”
“So why have you been crying?”
“Fiance kicked me out.”
“I kicked mine out.”
“Cheating?”
“Yes, and you?”
“I don’t even know what happened with his brother.”
“Hey, it happens to the worst of us.”
“Seem to happen too often with me.”
“We all make mistakes; we should just learn not to make them again.”
“Where you from?”
“The city.”
“And you?”
“I still can’t say the darn place’s name.”
“One of those small towns?”
“Yes.”
“How long are you going to be here?.”
“Until I find a place somewhere, I can settle in and make it a home.”
“So, when was the wedding date?”
“In five months twenty-eight days.”
“You?”
“Little over a month.”
I look over at the pool and change the direction of the subject.
“So what is there to do around here?”
“There is a spa, and then here.”
“So this is really just about doing nothing at all.”
“But that is kind of the point, just to run away.”
“I have been running for the past six months.”
“What are you running from?”
“Two husbands to be’s, a lover, and a whole string of bad decisions.”
“Your face looks familiar.”
“I doubt we have met before.”
“I think I have seen you in a magazine before.”
“It looks like that is going to follow me for the rest of my life.”
“Yes, that sex columnist.”
“I have stopped writing.”
“Why?”
“It is part of what caused me to cheat on Tyler so much.”
“But was it not him you wrote about.”
“There was a few about a guy called Luke.”
“It must have been those crazy wild ones.”
“Exactly those ones.”
“So why did you not go to Luke?”
“Because he will never love me as Tyler did.”
“Maybe you just need to give this Tyler time to cool off.”
“I have known him long enough to know that it is really over now.”
I am expecting Luke to start texting me around about now. This is about the time that I should have gotten there now. He is going to be devastated when I tell him I am not going to come anymore. I at least owe him the decency to say goodbye. This time goodbye is really goodbye.
“I need to make a call.”
“I will be back just now.”
I get to the room only to find that Luke has tried phoning me a couple of times. I need to get this over and done with; I need to tell him I am not coming back
“Hey, gorgeous.”
“Hey Luke”
“How far away are you still?”
“I am not coming out that way.”
“You staying with him?”
“No, I already left there.”
“Where are you then?”
“Somewhere close to the city.”
“Are you not coming here at all anymore?”
“No, I am not.”
“Why?”
“Because I am lost in a lifestyle that is not me.”
“I thought we loved each other?”
“I do love you, but maybe not in the way you want me to.”
“Please, Jenna. Come home.”
“I don’t know where my home is, Luke.”
“Your home is here with me. I need to be alone.”
“I am so close to having you. I am not giving up on you.”
“I think you must; without all the sex and drama, I am just a normal person.”
“You have no idea what I had to go through to make you mine.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not important. I just thought that after everything, that we would be together.”
“I must go.”
“Please don’t go, Jenna.”
“I am really so sorry, Luke.”
“Jenna, please wait. I love you.”
“Bye Luke”
With that I drop the call and fall onto the bed. I am not going back to the pool. I really do not care for making new friends.
I spend the next couple of days hanging around the pool, sleeping, and much crying. Luke is still desperately trying to get me to go back to him, but I am just ignoring his phone calls and texts. There has been absolutely no contact attempt from Tyler, and I am not going to attempt either
It’s time for me to start looking for my own place to stay, and it takes me nearly two months to find my own place.