We passed by the living room and then entered a hallway that led to a study room. In there, I saw him scan a bookshelf and then pulled out what looked like an old tattered book. It looked ancient and antique. I was afraid of touching it when he handed it to me.
“This is the last of the four copies the author had made. You can read it if you like. I am giving this to you.”
“In The Gods Own Hands, ” I read the title out loud.
Lambskin. The book was covered with lambskin. No wonder it looked ancient, especially with a magnificently done engraving of the title and the author’s name.
“Why would you give this to me?” I asked, looking at him who leaned against the bookshelf, arms crossed to his chest and eyes locked on me
“I know you love reading books, Lianne. Just like you were in the past. There is a book exactly like it that was given to you on your birthday in the past.”
His words rang in my head like a warning signal. Then suddenly I noticed a brief flicker of light in the emerald stone of my necklace, the exact time I felt nauseous and lightheaded. My brows knotted hard, unsure of what to make of what I was feeling.
The room seemed to swirl round and round, and then I saw pictures in my head of me and an older woman, in a place that looked like a library. She was wishing me a happy birthday while I was opening gifts. The last gift I unwrapped was a book with the same title as the one I’m holding now, exactly just like Ruen said.
And then, the pictures ended with a white light. The next thing I knew I was back to reality with Ruen’s worried face close to me, our lips close to touching.
My unconscious reflex kicked in and I jerked forward, pushing his face away. I almost lost my balance if not for him speedily helping me regain my footing by locking his arms around my waist.
“Are you alright, Lianne?” His voice sounded immensely concerned.
“Oh ye… yes, I’m… I’m fine. I just felt suddenly dizzy, ” was my meager reply.
“I’m sorry I startled you, ” he straightened me up and made sure I was standing freely on my own without the dizziness.
I awarded him a small smile. “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. I was out of myself. I… I actually received some flashbacks again.”
His brows twitched upon hearing it. Then, he looked to the side as if he was trying to calm himself down.
“Damn it, ” he cursed under his breath so low that he thought I wouldn’t notice, but I did and with that, I gave him a worried look.
“What’s wrong? Tell me, ” I urged.
Ruen returned his attention to me and gently cupped my face. “I’m just worried about you, Lianne. Could it be that remembering your past would take a toll on your health?”
“Oh, ” I tried to piece together the events that led to the now and somehow coldness crept up my face when I reached a conclusion, “it does seem so.”
This time Ruen’s gentle aura turned cold and I could see regret in his eyes.
“No, please, don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’m strong, ” I quickly explained. For a moment there, I felt as if he’d back out on our agreement. “Ruen, tell me everything now, ” I requested.
He let out a heavy sigh and directed his eyes elsewhere but me.
“Please, I need to know. I need to understand my recurring dreams, the painting, the Since mansion, the pictures in my head, and why I feel as if I’ve lived a life before this with you.”
Seconds later, he returned his attention to me and our eyes collided.
“I don’t want to hurt you again, Lianne. I can’t cause you pain anymore, ” his voice trembled. “There must be a reason why you have forgotten everything and it may be because you wanted to forget the pain in the past. I don’t want to relive that again to you.”
“I care not!” I shook my head and clenched my hands into fists. “All these years I have always wondered why I exist; if this life of mine is real. Something has been calling me, pulling me, trying to tell me that I’m not just an ordinary woman of this age and time. Don’t you think it is already too late to back out now?! I’m already in too deep. But the pictures in my head are still confusing me, Ruen. I need you to guide me. If you’re worried about my health then help me remember.”
Ruen’s jaw stiffened when he heard me say it.
“Then would you be ready?” he asked.
“Yes, I know I am, ” I nodded and gave him the sternest look I could muster.
“No!” he quickly shouted, shaking his head vigorously.
He brushed his hair with his fingers, took a long deep breath, and then looked back at me. “What I’m trying to say is… are you ready. I will make love to you Lianne until you gasp for air. I will make love to you until you writhe in passion. I will make love to you until you scream my name. I will make love to you until you remember me. That’s the only thing I know how to help you.”
My eyes widened as he slowly elaborated the words.