Her hands moved from his cheek down to his jaw and chin before dropping to his chest. “Oh so very handsome,” she sighed, sounding wistful. This time, a small smile did spread on his lips. “You know, we should play?” She said, her smile turning impish and wrapped her arms and legs around him, hugging herself to him tightly.
“I think you should let your head clear,” he told her. He tried to take a slow deep breath to calm himself, but it only filled him with her eager and aroused scent. He gritted his teeth in determination. He wasn’t going to take advantage of her in this state no matter how crazy his libido was going. Thankfully, beast stayed quiet inside him and he must’ve known too that she wasn’t in her right mind now.
Lily scowled and squirmed on his lap, making him silently groan. “Oh come on, that’s no fun,” she argued and James shook his head, trying to peel her arms from his neck. “Oh come on James, I want to play. I haven’t had any fun since we played in the hotel bathroom,” she complained and James’s grin grew despite himself at that little bit of knowledge.
“Tell you what, if you want to play after you’re not blood drunk then we’ll play,” he told her and she rolled her eyes at him with an expression of disgust.
“But I won’t let myself have fun then,” she huffed, leaning back but her arms still firmly around his neck and he paused to think about the wording of what she just said. She didn’t say she wouldn’t want to but wouldn’t let.
“You wouldn’t let?” he asked, unable to stop himself and she nodded, a frown on her face.
“Yeah,” she huffed and with lighting fast movement, leaned forward and rested her head on his shoulder, her face buried against his neck. “I like you too much and it would be too easy to fall in love you… you’re just so perfect.” James froze again, her words so unexpected that his brain needed a minute to cope.
“If I’m so great then why won’t you let yourself love me,” he asked, feeling guilty for taking advantage of her loose tongue, even if he desperately needed to hear the answers. Lily pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. Her hands ran over his face and into his hair. He couldn’t stop from leaning into her touch. Was it wrong to enjoy this sudden honesty from her?
“Because Lacy loved you and I can’t do that to her,” she told him plainly.
“You can’t stop living your life because of Lacy. It doesn’t matter that Lacy loved me or thought she did. What matters is I didn’t love her and I didn’t want to be her mate,” James replied softly. Lily sighed and shook her head, burying it against his shoulder and neck once more.
“I can’t fall in love with you because I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her.
“You won’t love me because you don’t want to lose me,” he asked incredulously and she hunched her shoulders in a shrug.
“Everyone I’ve ever cared about either leaves or eventually hates me. My biological mother hated me for tying her to my father after she didn’t love him anymore. Her family hated me for being mix blood and a taint on their reputation. My father left me to chase a woman who didn’t love him. Hunter hates me for being a human and trouble to him. Lacy hated me because of you and then left me. Tony doesn’t like me much anymore either now that he’s alpha,” she explained.
Lily pulled back from him until she was nearly off of him completely. “No one stays with me but I guess can’t blame them. I know I’m a bitch to everyone. I deserve to die alone,” she added and started to stand, but James stopped her and pulled her into a hug.
“You’re not a bitch to everyone,” he told her then at her scoff he corrected himself. “You’re not a bitch to everyone all the time I mean.” She laughed and he could feel her grin against him. “I’m not going anywhere, Lily. I promise on all that is holy that I will never ever leave you. I just need you to let me in,” he told her. Her grip on him tightened and her breath grew ragged.
Once her breath calmed, she pulled her face away from him and grinned. “Okay I’m done with all that soppy crap,” she said, rubbing her face. “Can we go fuck now?” James laughed a breathy but surprised laugh. He started to stand, but Lily didn’t let him go, her arms and legs still wrapped around him.
“Come on, let’s get you into bed,” he told her and she grinned a flirty grin at him.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” she practically squealed excitedly.
“To sleep,” he corrected her and she huffed.
“God! What does a girl have to do to get some sex around here?” She complained and he shook his head with a smile, peeling her off of him and setting her down on the bed.
“Not being blood drunk helps a lot,” he told her. His voice started as teasing, but it cracked like a teenager when she threw off her shirt and slipped off her jeans before he could stop her.
“Sure you don’t want to change your mind,” she asked him suggestively as she stretched out of the bed in just her bra and panties.
“No,” James barked and quickly turned to leave before he did something they’d both regret in the morning, but Lily grabbed his arm, stopping him.
“James,” she asked softly. “Can… you… stay with me tonight,” she asked and then quickly added when he started to speak. “No sex, I got that loud and clear but… I don’t want to be alone. I’d… feel safer if… you’d stay,” she told him, sounding almost hesitant to the admission.
James turned around slowly and sighed. “Just don’t take any more clothing off. I don’t want to wake up in the morning to only have you slaughter me,” he told her and she grinned, with a shake of her head, diving under the covers and patting the bed. James sighed and looked up at the ceiling, praying for help from the divine. Taking off only his shoes, he got into bed with her. She wiggled back against him until he had no other choice but to hold her against him or fall off the bed.