Tasha paced her room debating her decision. She’d finally decided that the day to confront Tom about the past had arrived. She just wished she had the courage to do so during the day and not—she looked at her bedside clock—at ten in the night. She’d been pacing for almost an hour since her decision and her stomach was still in knots. There was nothing calming about pacing.
“Oh God!” she moaned chewing on her nails. She wouldn’t have been so nervous if not for his outburst that afternoon when he called her a whore. And dinner, she was ready to use a butcher knife to carve the tension up to pieces because it had been suffocating!
But if she insisted on this path, what if she’d done worse than cheat? She would be going into the confrontation blind. She huffed, but what could be worse than bringing a child of adultery into her marriage home?
The knots in her stomach tightened. Her hand to her belly she bent over and groaned. She was going to hurl!
“No!” she straightened. “Buck up and get things out in the open once and for all.”
Without giving herself a moment to think and pause, she opened her door and single-mindedly marched to Tom’s door and knocked. Silence followed and she was a little relieved. Ready to run and cower in her room, the door swung open and a bare-chested disheveled head Tom sporting a Hennessey in his hand stood there glaring at her. She looked him over again. He was fit—broad shoulders, trim waist and his flannel pants hang provocatively around his hips. He looked different and honestly more attractive than when he was decked out in his two thousand dollars three piece suits, his hair parted to the left and slicked back and yet, he did nothing for her. Not a spark or a wow or butterflies in the belly, nothing. But when she thought about DJ’s dad—Damien and the one minute interaction they had, she had hot flashes and all she could think about was stripping him of his clothes one at a time until she got to see what was hidden underneath. Maybe wanting children had nothing to do with why she cheated.
“What?” he barked at her.
Do not chicken out! Swallowing hard, she blurted out, “We need to talk.”
He stared at her long and hard, took a swig out of the bottle and walked away leaving the door ajar. She figured that was as much of a ‘come in’ than she was ever going to get. She stepped in, hesitantly shutting the door. She didn’t want to be trapped in there alone with him, but she also didn’t want to wake DJ in case their voices raised—she was sure that would happen.
“What do you want?”
Inching closer to him, facing his back. “The truth. I want to know everything that happened before the accident.”
He turned around slowly to face her. “About what?”
“About us mainly,” she took a step closer. “Why and how did I end up wrapping my car around a tree? Why you don’t want me leaving the house unless I’m picking up DJ and even then I have to stay in the car?” Bracing herself she added, “and why we are still together when you clearly hate me for cheating on you and for DJ’s existence.”
He answered with another glare and another swig of the bottle.
“Tom, why are we still married?”
“Because I love you and I forgave your indiscretion,” he bit out, a slight slur to the bitter words. She didn’t believe him because sincerely, when she looked at him she felt nothing but annoyance. It had been like that for a long time and probably even longer. She was finally admitting that to herself after months of denial and confusion. It made her wonder why she stayed.
“Then why do we have separate rooms? Why don’t you ever try to kiss me, touch me or even—you’ve never tried to have sex with me. Why don’t you ever say you love me?”
The bottle dropping with a soft thud on the carpet and the brown liquid pouring out should have been her first and second cues to run. In fact, his sudden change in facial expression before that should have had her legs moving. But she reacted too late. By the time she turned around, and was just a step away from the door, her hand reaching for the knob, she knew it was a little too late. His arm circled her waist and she went flying across the room and landed on the bed on her back. She crawled back until her back hit the headboard watching as he came towards her like a predator stalking his prey.
She should never have closed the door.
****