After 6 weeks
Alex
I was driving Emma to school… Emma was not so chatty like she uses to be… maybe it’s because Aria is not there… fuck… sometimes I think I made the biggest mistake of my life for letting Kate and Aria go… but if Aria is right?… no, it’s not possible… I know its Aria who did this … I know Emma talks to Kate daily on Skype after school … Emma needs her mother physically to be there not virtually…. I parked at Emma school and said ‘ come on princess your school is here’
Emma said ‘ Daddy, can you bring mama and Aria home after school’
She asked this question always when I dropped her
I replied ‘Emma, I have told you already they’re going to back but not now… things are little bit difficult …’
I don’t know why I lie to her… but I can’t see her like this…
After dropping off school I turned two blocks a head and waits … for Kate and Aria … I usually wait for them to see how they are… sometimes I am fucking miss Kate so much that all I wanted to do go and drag her into the car and take her home…. sometimes I also want to see Aria… I miss her too… it surprises me too…, after all this drama I still want Aria to be happy… although I have hurt her little heart a lot … but the most painful moments were when I broke her doll into two pieces … yelled at her… when she said goodbye and asked me to forgive her… Kate was right I become heartless… but what she did was also wrong … she left me … then I saw them…. I saw Kate was picking Aria from the bus she put her down… it still fucking hurt and make me angry to why she leaves her car… obviously it will come handy to her…. but she is using third class bus to travel… Aria was saying something, but Kate was lost in her thoughts… what she is thinking … she looks so tired … she always looks tired like that… Aria looks she lost some weight …. fuck …. did they need money… I did not provide any allowance to Kate… nor she asked … then I saw Aria stop n bend to look her shoe … I closely focused her shoes were little wore down … it was a gut-wrenching moment for me here I have every luxury that life offers but my child is walking with a broken shoe… Kate kneels and said something … Aria nodded and then they were gone.
In the office I get myself busy with work because this will keep me from going insane… but I was still distracted … how Kate and Aria are really doing… then I saw Shawn coming in my office… After Kate had gone … Shawn and I have some intense argument where he told me what an ass, I am and how much I will regret it… but I am really an egoism bastard … I also fight with him… now seeing him made me realized me that I needed a friend.
He said ‘ here is the document that you needed… it’s already checked, and a contract has been made’
I replied ‘ Thanks dude… will you stop and have a coffee with me’
He reluctantly said ‘ you want to?
I sighs then said ‘ Shawn I’m fucking sorry how I behave last time but you know I’m an arsehole… but I really need a friend’
He said ‘ funny that is what Kate said to me… sure dude a strong coffee I can have.
I called to bring coffee then I realized
I said ‘ wait you said Kate …. what did she say?… tell me how she is, and Aria’?
He replied ‘ and why the hell are you interested in that… you don’t want them remember’
I replied’ she left me… I didn’t say anything about leaving’
He said ‘ Well you clearly want Aria to be leaving from your house… a person can only tolerate something that he can bear… but what you were suggesting doing with Aria was down cruel and heartless… you made Kate take that step…’
Shawn continues’ look you still have time to sort this out Kate still worries about you … she told me to not leave you…. so please believe Kate and Aria that Aria did not push Emma.’
I said ‘ Shawn just leave it… we have already talked about this’
It was almost 4 o clock when I left the restaurant and see off the contractors with whom I had a meeting with… my car was parked across the road … but then I saw Kate and Aria … they were looking outside the shops… what they are doing? I do not know what makes my feet follow them… I was keeping some distance but not much that enables me to listen clearly.
Aria said ‘ but mama… I want those shoes … not this one we have brought’
Kate replied ‘ Aria these are also exceptionally good… secondly, they were extremely expensive… mama does not have a lot of money right now to spend on shoes … you are exceptionally good girl try to understand that’
Aria said ‘ OK mama… I’m sorry I forget we are saving money for other things’
Kate said ‘ yup baby… but I promise I will buy you anything in Christmas ‘
Aria becomes happy in that … but I did not… they should not save money … because I have a lot of it… whatever Aria wants I will give her… but did not I also cruelly take that too … do I not remember what I did with her doll …
They were looking outside of shops… then Aria stops at one toy shop and pointed out and said ‘ mama… mama look… can I have this doll for Christmas … please… I will also save money?’
Kate looked and even I looked… the doll was different yet remarkably familiar… then I realized it was the doll I give to Aria, but her dress and size was different… that doll really meant something to Aria… but I destroyed it…
Kate looked then said ‘OK… I will buy it for you… now come on you must do your homework and I want to finish a little work in office then we are free to go’
Office …. what office… I saw Kate going straight to Holden printing press…. then it clicked it was Rachel’s father company… she works here… but Shawn never told me… then my phone rings it was Helen… fuck… what she wants.
Kate
‘Come on Aria its bedtime please leave the laptop and go brush your teeth’
‘But mama let me finish these cartoons… why do not we have TV… it is so big in there…’
I replied ‘ cause we do not need it when we can watch ion the laptop…. it is also one of the saving parts… now go to washroom and come to sleep’
She run with her little feet… I unfolded the sofa cum bed then put sheets on it and waited for Aria… After I started my jobs in Holden printing press two weeks ago… I feel confident enough that I can do this… the salary is less, and I am overqualified for the job but when I saw the ad, I jumped on it… I need a push to start up again… later I realized it was Rachel’s father company… when Rachel saw me there … she tries to convince me that she can hired me some better post, but I stopped her from taking someone’s post who is more needy and deserving, doesn’t set well with me to take that post… she reluctantly agreed. I heard the Skype ringtone … and saw it was Emma… my eyes tear up when I see her in school and right now… I called Aria and told its Emma … she runs over to come and sit with me… I connect with Emma … I saw Martha’s face first
She said ‘ hello Kate and Aria how are you…’
I said ‘ I’m good how are you Martha’
She replied ‘ I am good Kate… but I missed you a lot… (I heard Emma. voice in background) OK Miss Emma. here you go’
Emma’s face came and my eyes become teary ‘ mama… how are you… and when you are coming back…’
Emma always asked this
I replied ‘ baby… I miss you so much… I will come but little bit time will take … here talk to Aria’
Then both sisters were lost in their own conversation… after it was time to say goodbye which was more difficult for me…
Aria and me laid together in sofa cum bed n Aria said ‘ mama I like this bed… cause we both share it together… so may be its not bad’
Aria knows how to break the tense moment, I smiled at her’ yes, I think so’
Alex
Helen was sitting in my office across me
I said ‘ what… what the fuck is this Helen… you know because of this, how my life has turned?’
She remorseful said ‘ I’m sorry Alex… I know … that is why I am here to fix this … when Max and his nanny told me it was Max who pushed Emma. … I called you and came to tell you the truth’
I yelled ‘ how fuck can you fixed this… you know I made a terrible mistake… you know I was sending Aria to the boarding school… because of that Kate had taken Aria and left me… then how you are going to fix this… and tell me why your nanny lied at that time’
Helen said ‘ She became scared that she is going to lose her job if she gave Max’s name but after few weeks, she came and told me everything… when I asked Max … he … he told me… that he did not want to push Emma… it was Aria he wanted to push but somehow Emma fell down.’
I stop breathing … Aria…. he wanted to push Aria… fuck the feeling of protectiveness was back for Aria… fuck what I did… Aria was telling the truth … but I clearly ignored her… again… Kate was begging me to hear her once, but I am so proud to back down a little bit
I said ‘ Helen its better you go… I have lot if things going on… I need to do something else first’
She nodded and got out of my office’
And then I called Shawn.
…………….
Kate
‘ Kate ‘ well done Kate… it needs some attention, but you improve this piece of work more’ my boss praise me
I replied ‘ I’m happy to do this work… if you want anything else I’m here ‘
He said ‘ no you go and have a rest… and say hi to Aria’
I replied ‘ I will’
Luckily, they offer day care facility… one of the reasons I like this job more…
I picked a sleeping Aria from day care… she is becoming tired with this schedule… but we both are managing… I look the time … I have 10 minutes to reach the bus stand… I always reach at nick of a time… but now I am carrying Aria … I do not know I will reach there on time or not…. I was walking fast and luckily; I reach the stand before bus … I sat for a moment to catch a breath… then I saw a black BMW stop at the stand … I ignore that but when I saw who was getting out of the car … I was stunned it was Alex… fuck…. what he is doing here…
Alex said ‘ Kate… come with me I’m going to drop you’
I replied ‘ no thanks… but how do you know I was here ‘
He run his hand on his hair and said…’ I asked Shawn about your apartment address, but he told me you are going to be here… so I found you here… please Kate, I want to talk about something… please let me drop you’
I give him a look’ what else is there to talk about… wait you are here to talk about divorce and the prenuptial agreement’
He shakes his nod ‘ NO … Kate… no I never think about this but … please come… I am taking you to your apartment not home OK…. I just want to talk and then you will decide’
What will I decide and what talk…
I looked at my watch the bus was late, and it is getting late… I said ‘ OK but if you say something which disturb me or Aria, I’m going to kick you out’
He gives me a sad smile’ well I deserves that, but I won’t say anything like that’
I try to stand but I was holding Aria which makes difficult for me to stand… Alex came and said ‘ Give her to me… I will hold her…’
When he bends to take her, I hold her firmly and Alex’s eyes become sad by my action ‘ I know Kate you have no reason to trust me with her, but I swear on Emma I’m trying to change things for good that involved Aria too’
I loosen my grip give him Aria… for the first time seeing them together bring back my emotions… he gently put her in her car seat, and we drove towards my apartment.
Alex
Fuck it was more difficult to say anything… because honestly, I feel so shame of myself … I parked near Kate apartment … we both get out of the car … Kate went to pick up Aria, but I told her to open the door … I will hold her… she reluctantly says yes … I hold Aria… I found her to be very tired cause never open her eyes in whole drive… I kissed her forehead … and feel … for the first-time love for her… I truly hurt her more … a little child should not ever be treated like this by her father … when we reached her apartment… or I say a tiny room …. my jaw tick… but it is my fault…
Kate said’ let me turn this sofa into bed then we are going to talk’
Fuck they don’t even have bed…. no … they will have … they will not stay here anymore… Kate was busy turning the bed… and then Aria lifted her head she has a confused expression … she looks at my face and then again, she said ‘ Daddy… mama daddy is here’
I smiled at her ‘ yeah baby … I am here…
I was about to say sorry, but Kate came took her from my hand
Kate said, ‘ Daddy and I are going to talk, you can sleep a little then we will prepare dinner OK…’
Aria nodded her sleepy head and falls asleep.
Kate and I sit in the small kitchen of hers. Kate gives me a coffee and sits down
I said ‘ Thanks…. so, you live here?
‘And what’s wrong with here…’
‘ Kate it is so tiny… I mean our storeroom is bigger than this’
She replied ‘ Well Aria and I have no problem here… so what do you want to talk about’
I take a breath and say ‘ I am sorry… I am so sorry for everything…. today Helen come in my office and told me it was Max who pushed Emma…. Max wanted to push Aria … but when she told me I left everything to try to find you… Kate I know I do not have words to describe how sorry I am but please forgive me and come back’
Kate replied ‘ I told you listen to her once Alex… for just for once…. but you preferred to believe more into logic’s than your own daughter… I cannot, you have hurt Aria very much’
I picked up her hand ‘ I am going to say sorry to her too… I am going to accept her… and love her very much Kate… just give me a chance’
Kate shakes her head ‘ no… no Alex… I cannot trust you… you say now you will accept her… but after some time something will happen and then you will treat Aria and me like Shit… no… I cannot repeat all of this…’
I desperately hold her face and say ‘ Kate I am not lying… I have had these feelings from very start of all of this, but I am too arrogant to accept that …. Kate, I started to have feelings for you too long time ago and now I am going to say that I have fallen…
‘ No Alex… don’t say that… I know you want me home… but you are mentioning this thing is not right…’
I replied ‘ OK … OK I will not say this right now but one day I will … but Kate.
She said ‘ I can’t come home until; I’m trusting you enough that you truly want me and Aria…’
I put my head in my head… it’s more difficult than I imagine…
I said ‘ OK… I will do anything to gain your trust and your love…. but Kate… I will come daily to meet you and spend some time with Aria … I will try to be the best father to her’
Kate thinks a little ‘ you can talk to Aria tomorrow … not right now… you can come here at this time… … if it is OK can please bring Emma with you’
I replied ‘ of course… I will… and Kate… I do not like it when you take the bus … it is dangerous too… please take the car’
She replied ‘ no I will not… and I am OK with the bus … so no more arguments on this’
I sigh ‘ OK whatever you say…. I will go now… Emma. is, waiting… take care’
She come to door ‘ bye Alex’
I stopped for a moment, and I kissed her hard and passionately… we both remove ourselves away from one another and I said ‘ I missed you so much Kate… I must do this otherwise I will not know how to go from here’
She does not say anything, nor did I… then I left.
Kate
I was waiting for the bus, again, then I saw Alex’s car and Emma coming out from the car… she run to hug me … my eyes started to tear up as I hold her’ Emma… oh… God, I miss you so much’
Emma said ‘ me too mama but daddy say I can live with you today… it’s so fun na’
I emotionally nodded at her and saw Alex… I said’ I thought you going home’
He replied ‘ well if you’re not taking car than I’m going to pick up daily’
I said ‘ Alex seriously there is no need… I can
He cut me ‘ no I will do it still’
Then he looked passed me… his expression changed to emotional and guilty he said ‘ Aria… hi… how are you’
Aria slowly picked my hand, then looks down she said ‘ good daddy’
He nodded and said ‘ OK let’s go everyone ‘
When we reached my apartment… I saw Alex was holding some stuff…
He looked at me’ I thought it was best to bring some dinner too’
I replied ‘ Alex I can cook dinner you know that’
He smiled ‘ I missed your cooking a lot but you’re tired, so I thought to bring something’
I replied ‘ there is no need but still thank you’
I was in the kitchen putting food out and Emma who was with me chatting about her school … Aria was in the living room watching cartoons on laptop … then I saw Alex ‘ Kate. … can I talk to Aria? I hope you have told her’
I nodded ‘ I did but be careful she is little… upset and afraid so’
His flinched then nodded…
Alex
I saw Aria was sitting, watching cartoons on the laptop… hell there is no TV. here too… I shake my head … and sit with my daughter. It feels so good to say that… I saw Aria becomes tense when she saw I am sitting with her… my eyes tear up … fuck what did I do with her…. I said ‘ Aria… so what you are doing?’
She looked down and said ‘ cartoons’
I replied ‘ oh good… are these ones are your favourite I remember’
She nodded… fuck how should I start.
I said ‘ Aria can I talk to you’
She looked me with my blue eyes and said OK
I said ‘ you know daddy is so sorry to yell at you and then broke your doll…
I saw Aria shake her body… she is still scared of me… I said ‘ hey… I am sorry… do not be scared… come here… sit on my lap’
I picked her and put her on my lap… I kissed her hair which smell with sweet fruit shampoo, she looked me with her big blue eyes … I kissed her cheeks and one tear fall from … my eyes… She is so innocent and beautiful, I hurt her so much… I cannot stop myself from hugging her small body then I kissed her head and cheeks … it is like I am making up for all the times I have ignored her… but I know I lost the time become of my stupidity… I said ‘ I know it was Max and he pushed Aria not you … and I am so sorry … so sorry not listening you …. please forgive me Aria… please forgive daddy…’
Then my face was fully covered with tears…
Aria brings her small hand… she removes my tears and said ‘ it is OK daddy… do not cry… I do not like it … mama says to forgive someone if he says sorry, so I forgive you…
I hugged her tightly and said ‘ Aria I am, sorry for everything…. I know I was not a good daddy to you, but I will be from now…. cause daddy love you so much… I cannot even tell you… how much you mean to me’
Aria smiled she then said ‘ I love you too daddy… so so much’
I kissed her cheeks, and she kissed mine, she said ‘ can we go home now daddy If you’re not angry with me’
That instant was a gut-wrenching moment… she thinks she is not home because I am angry… I said ‘ I want her to come home right now, but your mama needs some time … she is little upset so I have to make her happy … will you help me in that’
She makes a o face and says ‘ daddy I will help you … then we will go home’
I smiled ‘ yes and I will give the world to you and your mama’