In the tranquil darkness of night, the gentle wind outside the window lightly rustled the foliage, causing the slender branches to sway as if dancing. Mary dared not gaze into the shroud of night. She collapsed into herself, her body trembling with fear at the thought of the days ahead.
Once, she had everything she desired, but now she was like a helpless being reliant on others to seek any hope of survival.
To Mary, men were a haunting nightmare. The sweet words of love and the promises made were all for naught but their amusement. Yet, she was naive enough to believe they were sincere, which only ended in heartbreak.
Matter love Mary offered, it never stirred his heart, as hate had deeply entrenched itself. From the beginning, she was never present in his profound gaze.
The air grew colder as the night grew longer, and the loneliness seeped deeper.
Without family, without a home, without friends, without a career, Mary wept. But she knew that she must hide this moment of vulnerability from the world.
Looking at the man sleeping soundly on the bed, Mary loathed herself even more. Yet another man professing love, but would he, like his predecessor, inflict upon her a profound wound? She felt no different from a scrap of paper stained with indelible black ink marks – marks that might never be erased in this lifetime.
Every touch of his repulsed her, for she understood that to him, she might merely be an object for satisfying his desires. Whether it was Bryan or Andrew, none mattered to her. The urgent task was to wash away this bitter hatred. But in doing so, Mary once again succumbed to the arms of a man.
Nights like these were not unique but an enduring saga. When her revenge wasn’t fulfilled, this relationship wouldn’t end. The sincerity between her and Bryan was known only to themselves.
Previously, she thought those who hurt her were vile, but now she was becoming tainted. She saw little difference between them and herself. Her self-loathing was tenfold compared to her resentment towards them, for she was betraying her character.
Mary pounded her chest, letting out a wail she could no longer suppress. Her heart ached as if stabbed by a dagger. Tears welled up. It had been many nights she couldn’t sleep, haunted by nightmares. The handsome face, the warm smile, and the honeyed words kept reappearing, jolting her awake. She sobbed uncontrollably, realizing it was all but a dream, while the harsh reality was so brutal that it made her yearn for death.
Mary was not unfamiliar with thoughts of ending her own life, yet she was bound by unresolved debts of gratitude and a heart weighted with festering hatred.
Life, as it was, belonged to each individual to navigate; no one else could live it on their behalf or substitute their pain or understanding. She had misjudged her faith in this life, squandering an entire lifetime.
The days ahead, Mary knew, would have to be lived for herself.
At dawn, she applied heavy makeup; she refused to let anyone glimpse her current face. Bryan approached, his arm snaking around her waist from behind. He’d slept well the night before, a blissful oblivion she envied. He gazed at Mary fondly.
“Why are you awake so early? Did I upset you last night?”
A wave of nausea swelled within Mary upon hearing these words. She was no longer the naive young girl who once quickly fell for sweet nothings whispered by men.
She gently laid her hand on his and spoke with a faint smile that masked her vexation and disdain.
“I know you love me, and I know you need nothing more than me. If we are to be one, then your concerns are mine, and vice versa.”
Bryan listened attentively, then kissed her heavily powdered cheek, a mask concealing her natural beauty. He murmured.
“I’ll give you whatever you want, my little wife. Tell me, what’s troubling you?”
Mary hesitated, then curled into his arms, playing the vulnerable part.
“I worry about you. You two were close comrades in arms for many years, but now you’ve turned your backs on each other. You could be at risk if he’s planning something behind your back.”
Bryan was a clever man, as talented as Andrew. But love had dulled his usual sharpness. He was lost in thought; what Mary had said was not wholly unreasonable. He pulled away and sank into the sofa, his eyes a misty void, his thoughts unfathomable to Mary.
Suddenly, Bryan met Mary’s gaze with a fond smile and assured her not to worry, that he would handle things. Then he left, with private matters to attend to.
Deep within, Mary was anxious. She didn’t know whether her plan would succeed. Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so hasty in sharing her worries. But her grievances were too overwhelming, and she could no longer hold them back.
Despite Bryan’s deep affection for Mary, he had had a long-standing bond with Andrew, a camaraderie. It would be understandable if he rejected her out of loyalty to Andrew. The more she thought about it, the more anxious Mary felt.