The twisting in my gut was more than worry for Charlie. It was the same ugly feeling I’d had when I’d seen him step up to be on her team earlier. “We’ll both go,” I said.
Dad waited with an entire entourage outside the door to Charlie’s ready room. Sheridan’s voice came from inside the room, still giving orders. Wolves patrolled the perimeter of the arena and the now empty bleachers, their noses to the ground and their ears pricking back and forth.
“Charlie,” Dad said when we got close. His expression was all business. You’d never know by looking at him that he’d just walked in on a heart stuck to a ceiling, dripping with fresh blood. “Tell me what happened.”
“I went back to my room after the tug of war and I didn’t see it right away. The dripping … it was the dripping that made me realize … And then I saw the knife. It was dark. I didn’t know what it held at first …” Her voice sounded unsure but clearer than when I’d first gotten to her. I breathed in relief.
Dad frowned, studying her. “You all right?” he asked. His voice was gruff but I could see the gentleness in his eyes and, for once, I was grateful for the way he always seemed nicer to Charlie.
“I’m fine,” she said.
I bit back a smile at the way she jutted out her chin when she said it. The gesture was so much like Dad.
“Good. They’ll get the heart out for analyzing and figure out what sort of creature it belongs to. The fact that someone left it for you is a clear message. One I don’t like. You’ll have to be careful about being alone until we can get this sorted out.”
“Of course,” she agreed.
“Regan, you get with Carter. Make a schedule and get it to me by end of day. Use the junior members, too, so it’s flexible and the word is out that she’s not an easy mark.”
Charlie’s shoulders stiffened. “What do you mean ‘make a schedule’?”
“For protection. You think I’m going to leave you alone so some nutcase can do to your heart what he did to that one?” Dad said.
“But, I don’t want—”
“It’s already decided. Regan, you and Carter get her home. I’ll meet you there after we finish up.”
“What about the dinner?” I asked. I remembered there was supposed to be a celebratory dinner after each test day, to honor the victor.
“We’ll reschedule. Everyone’s being sent home or put on patrols. Get going. Sheridan!” He walked away before I could argue. At least it meant he’d get rid of the vamps.
Charlie didn’t say a word on the walk home. Carter fell back a few paces to guard our flank. My eyes darted side to side, my senses widened to catch even the smallest movement, but there was nothing.
“Guarding me isn’t going to help,” Charlie said as we climbed the hill toward our porch.
“Why not?” I asked, surprised at how her words echoed my thoughts.
“Because.” She sighed. “No way a vampire would’ve gotten in there unnoticed. Which means …” She shot me a glance and her cheeks reddened. “Never mind,” she mumbled.
I stopped her with a hand on her arm. “You don’t have to be afraid to say it,” I told her. “I agree with you.”
“You do?” Her brows knitted as she studied me.
“I’m going to make sure everyone on the schedule has a partner. No one guards alone. Even if the guilty party is on the rotation, they won’t have an opportunity to get to you.”
I left Charlie in her room, told her to try and sleep. She sat on the bed as I shut the door, her expression far away, somewhere I knew I couldn’t follow. Guilt gnawed at me. I wanted to help, but I had no idea what to say, how to begin. Part of it was my fault anyway; stabbed heart aside, she’d lost today. To me. I couldn’t be the one to console her about it.
Carter waited in the study. I pressed my lips together, ignoring him as I went to the desk to make up a schedule. Even after everything with the bloody heart, I was still irritated he’d helped Charlie in the tug of war. At how concerned he’d been after the heart had been discovered.
“How is she?” he asked. I scowled before I could bury the reaction. Carter’s eyes narrowed. “What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I muttered. I waited but he let it pass.
We made the schedule pretty quickly. While none of the pack had a particular fondness for Charlie, none wanted to be sidelined if there was any action to be had. I was fairly certain from the comments I’d overheard that most of the pack assumed we were dealing with a vampire. I didn’t correct them, but I made sure to mix it up, senior patrollers with juniors, just as my dad had asked. And everyone had a buddy.
“I’m going to get a copy of this to Sheridan so she can post it for everyone,” Carter said when we were done. I remained silent. He rose, but made no move to leave. “Regan,” he spoke quietly. I hated the way my skin pricked at the way my name sounded coming from his lips.
I dragged my gaze to his. “What?”
“Are you going to tell me why you’re mad at me? Or make me guess?”
I hesitated. His tone didn’t have the punch of defensiveness it usually did when he knew I was angry with him. Usually, he’d be just as short with me before he even knew the reason for my anger. Usually he didn’t look like it hurt.
When I still didn’t answer he took a step toward where I sat in the chair, his face angled down toward mine. The closeness distracted me. I struggled to stay angry while my heart beat faster. The memory of our kiss in the woods replayed over and over, blotting out my irritation, making the reason fuzzy.
When he placed his hands on the armrests and bent down, his face blocking out all else, I swallowed. “You helped her.”
“Who?”
His cluelessness reignited my temper. “Don’t act stupid. Charlie. You helped Charlie. With the tug of war and picking her team. You’re supposed to be on my side, my beta, and you helped her.”
He blinked and straightened. “I am on your side, but this is your pack, Regan. She doesn’t have anybody.”
“Now she has you.” I snorted, full of temper now. “Smart of you to keep your options open for that beta position. You know, in case something happens to me in the end. I know how badly you want it,” I snapped. The minute the words were out, I regretted them.
Carter took a step back, his jaw slack for a beat. Finally, he shook his head. “I don’t want it bad enough to purposely hurt Charlie. Or you.” His voice had gone quiet again. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I was used to the harsh words, the quick comebacks, but not this.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you.” I sighed. “I get it. You were being nice. I just…” I bit my cheek to keep my expression neutral but all I could think about was that damn vampire in my bedroom and his accusations. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to spill everything to Carter. But the house felt so … exposed. I couldn’t. Not here.
“The heart,” I whispered, my eyes burning with hot tears.
Carter closed the distance, pulled me to my feet, and his arms came around me. That did it. The tears spilled over onto my cheeks. I gave in to the urge to let the wall down, even if only for a moment, and buried my face in his shoulder. I used the fabric of his shirt to dry my face. He didn’t move or loosen his hold until I pulled away. I wiped my cheeks with my palms, feeling embarrassed. I hated crying—especially in front of people. This was the second time I’d done it in front of Carter in the space of a few days.
“We’re going to find who did it,” Carter said. I met his eyes. They were filled not with pity or sadness but with determination and hunger for justice. It was everything I needed to pull it together.
“Thank you,” I told him.
“You should get some sleep,” he said. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’m going to check on Charlie one more time and then I will,” I said, walking him to the door. I tensed for a moment when he paused in the opening to look back at me. I thought he might kiss me, but he only smiled and slipped out. Disappointment pricked at me, surprising me.
Had I wanted him to kiss me? Carter, the boy I’d known—and fought with—my whole life. The boy who had started a rumor that I picked my nose in second grade. The boy I’d wrestled with and gotten mad at and competed against. The boy I’d gone out of my way to avoid unless I needed a good wrestling match.
I had feelings for him, I realized. Feelings that involved hugs and kisses and sappy staring from across the room. Feelings that made me want a future that held something more than alpha and beta. A flutter ran though me at the thought—hope soaring inside me—but it crashed quickly.
What did feelings or love even matter, when I was technically already betrothed to a vampire?