Regan found me sitting outside on Tuesday evening watching the sunset. The entire neighborhood had been quiet all day, almost mournful. Nobody was wandering through the streets enjoying the warm evening air like they always did. A pack of werewolves cooped up inside their houses was a powerful sign of the tension that had fallen over us all.
“I can’t see you tomorrow morning,” Regan said by way of greeting.
She slid onto the top stop beside me, and I stared over at her without really seeing. My mind was filled with images of what they might throw at us in the Test of Strength tomorrow. Giant bears? Tigers? Or worse … maybe they would make us fight each other.
“Huh?”
“The test is at noon,” Regan said patiently. “This is the last time I can see you until then.”
“Oh.” I tried not to shiver. It was a warm, beautiful evening, so it wasn’t like I was cold.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
I frowned. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Anything to help you prepare.”
I couldn’t even find it within me to get mad. “Why? Because you’re such a shoo-in to win, you want to take pity on me and help me out?”
“God, Charlie, I’m just trying to help.”
“I don’t need your help.” There was no venom in my tone. I was too scared to get really angry. Not even when I realized this was the first and only time she’d even offered. I knew she’d been training with Carter behind my back—same as I’d been doing with Owen. Although, I was willing to bet none of them knew I’d been training. If they did, I wouldn’t be sitting idly by on the porch watching the sunset.
Owen Rossi was the enemy. Since he’d somehow slipped his way past my usual walls and become my best friend, I wasn’t sure what that made me.
Regan shifted and then pushed to her feet slowly, like she was hoping I’d stop her from going. I didn’t.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said. “High noon.”
She gave a stiff nod and turned to go inside the house.
I watched her retreating back. Regan’s spine was straight, her stride long and purposeful. Everything about her screamed “alpha.” Maybe that’s why I wasn’t angry. Maybe even I believed Regan was destined to win.
Standing up, I took one last, sweeping look at the houses sprawled in front of me on the hill. From here, I could see a smattering of log cabin-style houses carved into small clearings between trees. Between us and them, I saw the cul-de-sac that housed the rest of the pack elders. Win or lose, they were my pack now too. Except I was sure they didn’t want anything to do with me.
With a final scowl, I turned my back on the view and went inside.
I found Dad in his office working by the light of a lone lamp. There were papers all over his desk and an open filing cabinet with a manila folder wedged half-in, half-out. His wide forehead was creased with lines, but he smiled when I came in and set his pen down.
“Charlie,” he greeted and I brightened when he used my nickname. So far, he’d insisted on calling me by my full name, Charlotte, more often than not. I wondered if he knew the only time Mom had ever called me that was when I’d been in trouble. I wondered if he cared.
“How are you holding up?” he asked. Another surprise. Even in the short time we’d known each other, I’d come to know Dad wasn’t one to discuss feelings.
I forced a smile. “Great. I’m fine. What’s all that?”
“The job of an alpha isn’t just one of leadership. It’s like being a CEO of a business.” He shook his head at all the papers. “There’s always something to do. But don’t you worry yourself about any of this. It’s not your problem.”
“Not yet,” I said. For some reason, his responding smile didn’t instill confidence in me. I took the chair opposite his desk, folding my hands in my lap. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“What does the Test of Strength entail?” I asked.
Dad gave me a look that was simultaneously unsympathetic and pitying. “I can’t tell you anything about it. It’s against the rules.”
“But that’s not fair. Regan has lived with the pack her whole life. She probably knows what’s coming.”
“Nothing can be done about her natural advantage. You have your own advantages, too.”
“Like what?” I slumped in my seat and stared down at my hands. “The ability to scream and run away?”
“Screaming and running is not behavior befitting an alpha,” he said, his voice turning sharp. It was like getting slapped. I sat up straight and sucked in a hard breath. His gaze softened. “I’m sorry.” He ran a hand over his beard, the scruff scratching against his weathered hand. “You should rest and meditate on the nature of strength. You’ll find your answers within, if anywhere. That’s all I can tell you.”
I nodded mutely, trying to quash the sickening flutters that had risen in my stomach. I couldn’t seem to look him in the eye.
Behavior unbefitting an alpha. Why was I not surprised?
“I’m going to bed,” I said in a tiny voice, hardly above a whisper.
“Sleep well.”
I headed upstairs. “Yeah. Right,” I muttered.
I didn’t sleep at all.
Instead, I paced back and forth in my room, wearing a path on the hardwood with my bare feet. I chewed my fingernails all the way to the quick, and when they started bleeding, spent a few minutes running my hands under cold water. The stinging was a welcome distraction, but it didn’t last long. And then I was back to pacing.
Despite all my training with Owen, I felt completely unprepared for what was going to happen. I hadn’t learned enough from him. I wasn’t a real alpha. I wasn’t even a real werewolf—I hadn’t killed anything on my own. The one hunting lesson we’d had, Regan took down a doe and given me the credit. But I hadn’t done a thing except guard her already-dead kill while she was gone.
I stopped pacing and pressed my palms to my eyes. Tomorrow was going to be horrible.
I thought about calling my mom. I’d only spoken to her twice since I’d been here, and it hadn’t gone well either time. Since then, I hadn’t even turned it on to see if she’d tried calling me back. I was still holding on to my anger. It felt stubborn and more pointless as time went on, but I didn’t know what to say if I did talk to her. A lot of this was her fault. Maybe if she’d told me about my family here I could have been more prepared for this contest for alpha I was being forced into.
Instead of making the call, I found myself sneaking down the stairs and out the back into the moonlight. I didn’t really have any destination in mind. My feet carried me across the yard and into the forest with my mind totally disengaged. I could think of nothing but the arena I had seen under construction.
It didn’t surprise me when I finally looked up and found that I had walked in a big circle and ended up in front of the exact place of my fear. The arena was complete and empty. Lanterns hung over the path, turned off, leaving the narrow path lit by nothing but moonlight. It was huge, able to seat the hundreds of werewolves and vampires who would be watching, and I felt tiny in comparison to it. All around me, crickets sang their night song, but I barely noticed.
What if the Test of Strength was a physical fight? What if I died? I’d read of that happening in the book Regan had lent me.
“Brooding?”
I turned at the voice, and somehow wasn’t startled to see Owen emerging from the trees, despite the fact that my distracted senses hadn’t even noticed his arrival. His jawline was sharp and shadowed in the darkness but his eyes were piercing even from here. He made his black T-shirt and jeans look royal somehow.
In all of the busy blur of the last two days, I hadn’t had time to see him again, but my cheeks immediately grew hot with the memory of our kiss.
He had said that he thought he was falling in love with me. I wanted to ask if he still meant it, as if something might have changed in the days I hadn’t seen him. My courage was totally absent that night. All I’d managed to do was shoot him a shaky smile.
“Are you following me?” I asked. I meant for it to sound teasing, but I couldn’t seem to locate my sense of humor. It had gone missing somewhere among the paralyzing terror and my dad’s admonition.
“You say that like following you would be a bad thing, kitten.” Owen hadn’t lost any of his usual attitude. He slunk around me, graceful and serpentine, and I hugged my arms around my body to stave off the chills.
“It could be bad, if people catch us spending time together. Don’t you have a bodyguard? Won’t he report back to your parents?”
“He probably would if he knew where I was,” Owen agreed. “But I’m very … elusive.” He darted toward me, faster than I could see, and hooked an arm around my waist. I gasped. He bent down to trace a kiss along the side of my neck. It was a familiar, comfortable gesture, so much more intimate than our one kiss deserved. But it felt amazing. “Haven’t I trained you enough? Yet my speed still surprises you.”
“I guess I’m still relying on these pesky eyes.” I sighed.
“When you missed our last two training sessions, I assumed that meant you’d outgrown the need for my assistance,” he said.
His face grew serious, his penetrating eyes searching for whatever thoughts lay hidden from him. I shook my head, turning away out of guilt. I could see the question in his eyes, the doubt. He wanted to know why I’d ditched him. The truth was I’d done a lot of thinking over the past three days and I couldn’t justify … this any longer. But now, standing here looking into those deadly crimson eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I didn’t want to hurt the vampire. I was pretty sure there was some irony there.
“I was worried about you,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry. The contest has been scheduled and I had a lot on my mind. Don’t worry, my senses are as awful as always,” I said instead.
Owen leaned away, wiping away his frown as his expression lightened to something easier. “I’m sure they will kick in when you need them. You have Vuk blood, for better or for worse, and there is alpha in your veins.” His lip curled slightly as he said my last name but otherwise maintained his composure.
“Owen…” I began and then bit my lip. Hours before my first test wasn’t the right time for this.
He dismissed my silent worries with a wave of his hand. “I have enough confidence for the both of us.” Owen pointed at a stand sheltered under an awning with a gauzy veil hanging at the sides. “If you aren’t sure what to do, look to me, and I’ll think comforting thoughts toward you.”
“Is that another vampire power?”
He laughed. “No. But it sounds good, doesn’t it?”
I groaned and shook him off. “You should really get out of here. And don’t come to the test tomorrow. I don’t want you to see me lose.”
“Charlie,” he said gently, taking both of my hands, pulling me around to face him, and pressing them to his chest. “You can do this.”
“I can’t. I don’t know what I’m doing. I shouldn’t even be here…”
His fingers tightened on mine. There was no heart beating in his chest under my palms, but when his earnest gaze drilled into mine, my own pulse was more than enough to make up for his lack of one. “You’re going to do great.”
“How do you know?”
“Because. You have me.” He dipped his head and brushed his lips across mine.
“Did you mean it?” I asked when he leaned back again. I didn’t let him go far. He had loosened his grip on my hands, so I just slid them around his back, locking them on his neck. “When you said that you thought you were falling in love with me?”
“I don’t have any plans of marrying your sister,” he murmured and my eyes went wide at how well he’d just read me. “Does that answer your question?” His breath was a cool breeze on my lips, sweet and cloying. I breathed in deep, wanting to lock a part of him inside me. As if that would somehow keep him close through whatever was to come.
His words—this entire line of conversation—should have disturbed me.
Two months ago, I would have laughed at a guy talking marriage with me. I mean, I’d seen enough of my friends in high school get together and break up again to know that teenage relationships didn’t have the best longevity. But this was something else. We were something else. Supernatural and destined for a future different than any human. And now, with this blood pact, marriage was inevitable, whether I liked it or not.
Still, the fact that Owen wanted this. Wanted me … The words took my breath away. And suddenly, I was tired of trying to talk myself out of this. As of this moment, I was done trying to walk away from Owen. He was the one bright spot in my life and I wasn’t going to give that up. Not for anything.
“I … I’m falling for you too,” I whispered.
Owen’s eyes found mine and held. My breath hitched and his chest went still under my palm. Unbreathing, unblinking, he stood in front of me, the intensity of the emotion in his expression completely drawing me under. “Charlie,” he said in a low voice.
His cold fingertips traced a line from my forehead to my jaw, his thumb lingering over my bottom lip. The small but intimate contact shot a bolt of electricity through me—straight into my heart. My eyes widened as something seemed to shift between us and then settle. And I knew that no matter what happened later, Owen was mine.
“Why me?” I blurted. “I’m a werewolf. Your enemy. And just a silly girl.” I shook my head at how ridiculous it all sounded out loud, but I was suddenly desperately to know. Tonight.
“You are not silly. And you are not the enemy,” Owen said quietly.
“Then what am I?” I asked.
“You’re compassionate and kind. And you don’t let others’ cruelty affect how you treat the rest of the world,” Owen said softly. Almost reverently. “You have no idea how much I admire your gentleness. I don’t see it often where I live.”
“You’re kind, too,” I said. “Even though you don’t want anyone to notice.”
“But you do,” he pointed out. “Even when I try to hide it. I love that you see me.”
“What if that’s not enough?” I asked, too worried about tomorrow to be properly thrilled with all of his compliments.
“You’re stronger than you realize. I’ve been hard on you,” he admitted. “In training. Most other werewolves, even from your pack, wouldn’t have kept up with me the way you have. You are naturally stronger than half of them, believe me. You have to trust that you are capable of this.”
His stare was intense and unwavering as he watched me in the darkness. Almost like he wanted to transfer his faith to me simply with the weight of a look. I wished it were possible.
“Thank you, Owen,” I said.
I didn’t feel more prepared, but I did feel a few degrees calmer. He kissed me again, just a peck, and stepped away. “Remember everything I told you. Use your senses, not your eyes,” he said.
“I will,” I said, willing myself to believe I could do this.
He kissed the back of my knuckles with those smooth lips before releasing me. “And get some sleep. I’ll see you in the winner’s circle, kitten. Don’t forget to come and collect your prize.”