OLIVIA…
Changing sounded like a good idea until I tried lifting my arms while leaning forward. The fire that lit my back helped me decide the pain wasn’t worth the effort of putting on a shirt. I considered changing my pants because the waist stuck to my skin. However, clean clothes wouldn’t fix that problem entirely. I needed to wash.
How many days had it been since I left Blake’s home? Since my last shower? I gingerly lifted my hand, felt my greasy hair, and wrinkled my nose. Bloody, half-starved, and stinky, I wanted a shower. I wanted to show Jim I could be more than the waif he likely saw. I wanted the freedom to choose my own destiny. I wanted a lot that I wouldn’t get. Showering was as out of the question as putting on a shirt. Both would hurt me more than I cared to endure.
I ran my fingers over the pile of clean clothes then turned from them, grabbed a towel, and held it against my front. There, I hesitated and watched Jim.
He stood by the desk with the hotel phone to his ear. The Others seemed to like him. Too much. An ache started in my middle for all the things that might have been in my life had I not been born a Judgement. Normalcy. Dating. A first kiss that meant something.
Jim hung up the phone and turned to face the bathroom. Taking a deep breath, I held the towel with one hand and opened the door with the other while trying my hardest not to stretch the skin on my back.
He didn’t say anything when I stepped out. The awkward silence grew, and I felt the need to break it.
“I’m sorry about the towel,” I said. “It hurt too much to try to be respectable. I just want to lay down.”
“That’s fine. The food will be here in an hour.”
“Thank you.”
I walked toward him since he stood between the two beds. He remained quietly watchful as I sat on the mattress then eased onto my stomach.
“What did you order?” I asked.
“One of everything they had. A feast. Would you like some ice for your back?”
His endless consideration never failed to send a jolt of pleasure through me. This close to the end, I didn’t bother trying to suppress it.
“That would be wonderful. Thank you.”
He left the room while I waited on the bed. I could feel Blake in my mind and pictured him pacing in his room. He, too, knew how little time we now had. The fight for the Judgements would happen tomorrow. Blake would try to make his move tonight. Would I be enough to stop him? Something would, I knew. Michelle’s premonitions wouldn’t lie and wouldn’t change.
I lifted my head and spotted Jim’s familiar form down the hall.
“Mother, is there no other way?” I asked.
Have courage, daughter. Her whispered words came with a gentle touch that tingled over the top of my head and stroked down the length of my back. I shivered at the contact and almost shouted in joy. Her rare touches infused me with whatever I needed most at the time. Now, I felt the absolute certainty and determination to complete what still lay before me, as well as a relief from the pain that had heated my back.
“Thank you, Mother.”
You are not alone, loved one. Never forget.
The door opened and closed gently.
“I have some ice.” The brush of Jim’s feet against the carpet announced his approach.
Instead of setting the ice on my back, I felt the light touch of a fingertip trace my skin from shoulder to spine.
“It’s less red,” he said, surprise lacing his words. “Less swollen, too. How?”
“It was the Lady,” I said. “She came and eased my pain.”
The mattress dipped as he sat beside me. He used the loose end of the towel to lie over my wounds then set the ice on top. In the absence of relief, I only felt a slight chill.
“I don’t think I need the ice anymore,” I said.
“That’s bullshit,” he said.
The calm way he spoke confused me, and I lifted my head, wishing I could see his expression.
“What’s bullshit? I honestly feel better now.”
“You shouldn’t have suffered in the first place. She helps when it’s convenient for her to help. Not because she can’t, but because she won’t.”
I set my head down and smiled slightly.
“I fail to find the humor in that,” he said.
“I’m not laughing at how you feel. The humor is because I spent most of my early teenage years feeling the same way. And then, she began to explain things to me. My purpose. My place in this world and what would happen if I don’t fulfill my purpose.” I breathed deeply and noticed the complete lack of pain.
“How does it look?” I asked.
“Your back?”
“Yes.”
“Well on its way to being healed. Do you want to try sitting up?”
He stood and offered his hand. I cautiously sat up while clutching the towel. The skin on my back pulled but remained pain free.
“Tell me what she told you,” he said, releasing me and sitting on the bed across from mine. “Help me understand.”
I considered his request for a moment. He needed to know, eventually. I just wasn’t yet ready to tell him everything. Would he sense it if I told him half the story? I hoped not.
“The Lady told me the story of the four races. In the beginning, we existed together. She described a lush, beautiful world full of food. A world abundant with animals. The four races were equal in numbers, tens of thousands of each. In a world so large, that left vast unoccupied spaces. For a long time, each race lived in ignorance of the existence of any race but its own. However, while humans struggled to survive in a world so filled with harsh, primitive life, the Urbat and werewolves thrived.
“Urbat were the first to find humans. To them, humans had no use beyond another possible food source. However, because of their intelligence, humans were not as easy to kill as a deer or an ox, and the Urbat left the humans in a tentative peace, harrying them only for fun. Humans retreated further to safety, into caves and other places clogged with pungent scents that the Urbat preferred to leave alone.
“The werewolves discovered the Urbat next. The two races, so closely made, bonded. Pairs coupled. Life for the werewolves and Urbat remained peaceful only a short period of time before the Others found them.
“The Others were stronger and faster but had no form to interact with the world in which they’d been born. Years of seeing the beauty and the abundance without partaking left them craving more than just an observatory view of the world. Then, the Others discovered the werewolves and Urbat. They saw how both races could touch, taste, and smell everything around them; and the Others knew they’d found a way to get what they wanted.
“In order to interact with the world, they needed the three races that did have form. They needed flesh. Not to eat, but to wear. The first few tricked a handful of Urbat and werewolves into giving them their skin. Imagine your skin is just a jacket someone can steal. But without it you would no longer exist and your stolen jacket would start to fall apart at the seams.
“I’m sure you can imagine what happened next. Those with tattered jackets, threw them aside to steal nicer ones. The werewolf and Urbat numbers declined.
“Some of the Others realized very quickly what would happen if all of the other races died. The Others would be without skin forever. Without any chance to ever again interact with this world. So a veil was created, a separation from the Others and the rest of the races.
“Once again the Others found themselves watching what they considered paradise from afar and fought to find a way back. To prevent that and pacify the Others, a system was set in place. So long as the three races could exist together in balance, the existence of the veil and the decision to separate the Others from this world would remain in place. However, if any of the three races ever started to dominate the remaining two races to the point of an imbalance, that decision would come under review. Not by any of the four races but by an impartial fifth. The Judgments.
“Without the need for balance, the Judgements wouldn’t even exist. I’m not human. I’m not werewolf. I’m not Urbat. The Judgements are children born of the Lady and the strongest of the three races. We are not one race but a combination of two. Unnatural. Born of necessity and given a single purpose. My sisters don’t understand. I do. The Lady helped me see that I have no place here without my purpose. So I embraced it. And whatever comes once Judgement is made, I accept because you’ve shown me there is so much in this world we need to save.”
He remained quiet for so long after I stopped talking that I began to wonder if my story had put him to sleep. When he finally spoke, I jumped a little.
“I’m still calling bullshit on her.”
I knew he meant the Lady.
“In what way?”
“Her help is given when it suits her. What was the point of even letting the Others take your flesh? Yes, you made a deal. So what? She could have stepped in if she wanted to.”
He is right. I chose not to save you that pain. The pain that will—
“Stop,” I nearly shouted, cutting her off. I didn’t want to hear more. I already knew.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” Jim said tenderly.
He stood and came over to offer me a hand again. I took it and stood.
“I wasn’t yelling at you. She could have helped me and acknowledges that. There are reasons she doesn’t and times she takes pity on me despite those reasons. She is not bad or good. She just is. Just like the rest of her kind. They exist. They want to enjoy our world. They don’t think ahead of what their unbridled enjoyment will mean to the three other races or to the planet. That’s why they need to stay where they are. That’s why we need to pass Judgement and bring the three races back into balance.
“Do you understand? This isn’t about me or about you. This is about every creature that lives and breathes. This is about preserving this world for another tomorrow instead of blindly believing there will be another tomorrow regardless of our choices today. We are not the Others. We are more. So much more.”