OLIVIA…
I opened my eyes to the light of the third morning away from Blake and shivered with fear. This was taking too long. I’d need to end it this afternoon. Any longer than that and the Others would demand more than I could afford to give.
“I think that’s the first true emotion you’ve shown,” Winifred said from somewhere in the room.
“Is that why you don’t trust me?” I asked as I sat up. “Because I hide my emotions?”
“It’s hard to trust someone who seems to be hiding so much.”
I nodded and eased out of bed. The Others were busy dancing around objects. A few clung to Winifred, like they did when someone was in pain or grieving.
“Why are you upset?” I asked. “Did something happen overnight?”
“Why would you think that?”
“The Others are fascinated with you right now. There are only a few times they do that. One is when a person is truly, emotionally, upset.”
She considered me for a moment, her stillness reminding me of Blake whenever I’d upset him.
“The group we mentioned yesterday was attacked while you slept. Four Urbat. All dead. One of the group was hurt. A boy, barely a man by our standards. His leg was broken. The two little human children with them were the target. The Urbat want them so they can control Michelle and the Judgement that Bethi tells us needs to be made.”
My stomach churned.
“They didn’t get the children, did they?”
“No. They are unharmed. Michelle and Grey are working to find them somewhere safe to stay until we can reach them.”
“Blake never spoke to me of my sister when he kept her. But, like her, I sat through many dinners while they pretended I was as stupid as a piece of furniture. I heard what they did to her. How they used her brothers to control her. They can’t get them again.” I stood and shuffled toward my bag. By touch, I found what I needed to change clothes.
Turning toward Winifred, I said what needed to be said.
“No matter what, you cannot allow them to have her brothers.”
The Others spun faster as her shock, and likely outrage, settled in her heart.
“I’m sorry.” I closed myself into the bathroom and dressed quickly after washing. She stayed sitting in the same position, the walls not blocking my view of the Others and, thus, her.
Blindly, I reached out and touched the mirror I knew hung above the sink and stared at where my reflection should have been.
“I envy their ignorance,” I said softly. “And, I wish our existence wasn’t necessary.”
Daughter, I am with you always. Take comfort in knowing the time for Judgement is near, the Lady said from the other side.
I stepped back from the mirror and brushed my hair. When it fell straight and tangle free, I picked up my things and opened the door. I kept quiet as I repacked then went to sit on the edge of the bed, not facing Winifred, but not facing away either.
In the silence, I considered what the day had in store for me and let go of the fear and anxiety that wanted to well up. My future remained set. The fate of the world depended on it.
“Are you hungry?” Winifred asked, finally.
“Yes.”
“I’ll walk you to the breakfast bar downstairs.” She stood and offered me her hand. I took it. The gentle curve of her fingers brought on a swell of pity. For myself.
“I wish one of you would have found me,” I said honestly.
“I wish we would have, too.” She led me out the door.
“Who is ignorant?” she asked as we walked, echoing what I’d said in the bathroom. “Us or the humans?”
“All of you.”
“Of what are we ignorant?”
“Reality. But you won’t stay ignorant for long, and I am sorry for that.”
She remained quiet the rest of the way to the hotel lobby. The smell of toast and the sound of Bethi’s voice let me know when we arrived.
“Well, that was a wasted, shit-night,” Bethi said angrily. “Not a single useful dream. Just more death.” She slouched in her chair and tipped her head back toward the ceiling. “What the hell is the Lady waiting for? We made up our minds, didn’t we?”
“If there’s doubt in any of us, I don’t think we have made up our minds,” I said, still moving with Winifred.
“Here’s the breakfast bar,” Winifred said. She placed my hand on the counter. “I’ll help you fix a plate.”
“Thank you.”
“What do you mean?” Bethi asked. “You think one of us is doubting? Who?”
I shook my head slightly. “Doubt isn’t something you can threaten and make go away. We all have doubts. Winifred doubts my intentions. I doubt we’ll come to a decision quickly enough. You doubt the Judgement will give you a reprieve. Doubts are more natural than trust. But, that’s what we need to do. Trust ourselves, each other, and our decision.”
“You sound like a fortune cookie.”
I smiled slightly at the bitterness in her tone. We all carried a measure of anger. Bethi just hadn’t learned how to hide it yet.
“They have waffles, scrambled eggs, bacon, and muffins,” Winifred said in the quiet. “Which would you like?”
“All of them, please.” This would be the first meal I might actually eat in its entirety, and I planned to indulge myself.
I followed Winifred as she filled my plate and went to sit at Bethi and Luke’s table. Bethi seemed to be sullenly playing with the food on her plate. Luke watched her.
She needs you, the Lady said, her voice a whisper through the veil. Tell her the truth.
“It won’t be okay,” I said, facing Bethi.
She stopped her small movements and lifted her head.
“What?”
“This thing we need to do. It won’t be easy. It won’t be okay.”
“Is this supposed to be some kind of pep talk because if it is, you suck at it.”
“Not a pep talk. The truth. Yes, your life sucks, but it could be worse. Ge—”
A sudden jolt of anger pierced my mind.
“Blaaaake…” the Others stopped moving and moaned as one.
“Not yet,” I panted, focusing on keeping myself carefully emotionless. “Not yet.”
The Others’ movement picked up again in a frenzy that made me dizzy and wish that I could block them out by closing my eyes.
My time was almost up.
“Are you all right?” Bethi asked, her tone a toss between screw-you and concern.
“Yes. I’m saying we need to get over it and do what needs to be done,” I said, weakly. “Thank you for the food, Winifred, but I don’t think I can eat it. We’re running out of time and need to leave. Now.”
“Winifred!” a voice called urgently.
The echo from the hall made it hard to tell who it belonged to.
“There’s movement. Everything’s coming our way. We need to leave. Now,” the voice said.
Winifred turned toward me.
“What just happened?”
“The beginning of the end.” I turned to Bethi and set my hand on hers. “She wants me to remind you that you will get to relive five lifetimes full of love, family, and friends. You have Courage. Use it.”
Five. Not six. I understood too well I would have no happy ending.
I stood and went to the door. Within five minutes, I sat in the car with Isabelle, Carlos, and Grey.
“Winifred thought you might want this,” Isabelle said, passing back a banana and a water bottle.
“Thank you.”
The car moved, and I quickly ate. No one said much during the tense drive south until Isabelle turned in her seat.
“Everyone thinks you’re leading them to us,” she said.
“Isabelle,” Carlos warned.
“I think they’re wrong. The Elders with Gabby are communicating silently with Grey to give us directions to avoid the Urbat.”
“I know,” I said. “Blake spoke about the Elders ability to communicate with all werewolves.”
“You sent it, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” I didn’t pretend to misunderstand. That letter had cost me much to get to her.
“I thought you were warning me about them, werewolves, at first. I ran when I saw them. Why didn’t you say more?”
“I’m blind. Writing is hard.”
She laughed slightly and turned forward.
“Thanks for the warning. It did help,” she said.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For letting me know it was worth the price I paid to send it.”
I turned and looked out the window, watching the Others dance around the passing trees. After a few minutes, Isabelle reached out and turned on the radio at a low volume. For the next several hours, stories of werewolf sightings, captures, and fights filled the car. The state of the world made me shiver.
“That’s the first emotion I felt,” Isabelle said.
The reminder had me quickly focusing. Think, but don’t feel. I knew better.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. It wasn’t much,” she said.
“Why are you so closed off?” Grey asked, speaking for the first time. “Carlos explained about his sister and protecting her. What about you? Who are you protecting?”
“Myself. Will we be stopping soon?”
Another surge of anger pierced my mind. The Others stilled outside the car.
“Whoa,” Isabelle said. “What was that?”
“Not yet,” I whispered. I turned away from the window and breathed slowly.
“There’s coordinated Urbat movement again,” Grey said. “They were still moving toward Missoula, where we’d stayed. Now they’re moving south, toward us. What just happened?”
“My hold is slipping, and we’re running out of time. Has Bethi dreamed the answer yet?”
There was a moment of silence.
“Not yet. What hold?” he asked.
“If I told you, you might make a rash decision that would jeopardize everything. Bethi needs more time, and I’m trying to give it to her.”
“What exactly does that mean?” Isabelle asked.
“You’ll see soon enough. I’ll let you know when we need to stop.”