I didn’t want to answer to Liam, and I wasn’t sure how I would get around this if I stayed, but I wasn’t ready to abandon August, Evelyn, or Jeb. I didn’t want to lose the ability to transform into a powerful beast, nor leave the home I’d just gotten back.
August clasped my chin with heartbreaking tenderness. “I need you to be perfectly certain about this.”
“This?”
“Staying. Being with me.” He ran his thumb over my lower lip. “I want you as my mate, Ness. Not tonight. Not tomorrow, but before the Winter Solstice. I need to know if you want this too. Because this isn’t a simple crush. At least, not for me.”
He was talking about forever. Forever scared the hell out of me. “I’ve never even been in a relationship, August.”
“So you’re not ready?”
“Because you are?”
“I’ve been with other people. I know what’s out there, and I understand how precious what I’ve been given is. How precious you are.” He caressed my cheek.
“I want to be with you, August-only you-and I have seen what’s out there. I’m not settling for you because you happen to be around and magically connected to me. But I don’t want to promise you forever, because that scares me.” I moistened my dry lips with the tip of my tongue. “If that’s not enough for you-”
His hand scooped up the back of my head and pressed my face closer to his, interrupting the flow of my thoughts and words. Against my lips, he whispered, “Only me.”
“Only you,” I murmured to the man lying beside me, so familiar and yet a complete stranger.
He crushed his mouth to mine, and the rope that bound us drew me nearer and nearer. I didn’t know if he’d reeled me in or if I’d done that. All I knew was that each one of our bones aligned; each inch of our flesh molded together to the point where it was impossible to distinguish where one of us began and the other ended.
And that-fitting so perfectly with someone-scared me more than anything, because if we ended, it would tear up more than just our hearts. It would tear up our very bodies.
Sleep fell over me as quietly as dawn crept over the horizon and kept me in its arms the same way August kept me in his. I felt safe and calm and sated in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. All we’d done was kiss, our fingers not venturing across the acres of skin that were now ours to explore. I sensed August was worried of frightening me by going too fast.
I appreciated the slowness. Everything with Liam had been rushed. We’d kissed as though we were out of time, and in a way, we had been, even though neither of us had known it then.
As the sun crested higher into the sky, I stroked August’s long fingers splayed on my stomach, keeping me pinned to him, thinking of the awful recording, dwelling on how low men could sink to keep what they believed was theirs, and then I thought of my father wanting to be Alpha.
I found it strange that he’d coveted leadership. Had he desired this to bring me into the pack like Heath insinuated, or had it been a life goal? Had my mother known his intentions?
My mother who’d been another man’s mate…
As I lay with the one who was supposed to be mine, I wondered if resisting the pull had been difficult. Perhaps it hadn’t been such a feat considering her mate was neither gentle nor sweet. The fact that she’d managed, though, reassured me that I hadn’t ended up in August’s bed because of any magic. If August had been a violent narcissist, I would’ve kept my distance.
As though he’d felt me thinking of him, he stirred behind me, and the fingers I was caressing crimped my T-shirt and hoisted me a little higher up his body. I smiled, knowing the reason he’d readjusted me… having felt the reason against my tailbone. His lips connected with my shoulder blade and laid the warmest and softest kiss that penetrated through the barrier of cotton and skin, and then those lips moved to the slope of my neck and pressed a tantalizing kiss there, and then he nipped his way higher, to the sensitive place right behind my earlobe.
Still smiling, I spun in his arms to face him.
He returned my smile, a hesitant version of it, though, that had my heart beating double-time.
“No regrets?” he finally asked.
“No.”He ran a knuckle down my cheek, dipping it into my dimple before curving it around my jaw.
“What about you?” I asked.
“My only regret is that morning has come.”
“Are you worried I’ll turn into a pumpkin?”
He laughed, and then he pressed that beautiful, laughing mouth of his against mine and spilled the deep notes of his joy inside me. As the kiss deepened, the shape of his mouth changed, uncurled, opened. He pulled me into him, all of me, from my tongue to my body. When the bulge that strained his sweatpants pushed against my thighs, he disconnected our mouths and pressed me slightly away as though afraid to bruise me.
He studied my face, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’m going to be saving lots on water heating.”
I studied him back. From his pupils ringed with brown that melted into the brightest green flecked with gold, to the scattering of chocolate freckles on his light-brown skin, to the dark auburn stubble on his oblong jaw, to the faint scar left over from my nighttime attack.
“I’ll make up for your cold showers by taking extra hot ones,” I said.
His pupils dilated, and his nose flicked mine. “Planning on showering here again, huh?”
Heat engulfed me. What in the world had prompted me to say that? “No. Um. Only if I get stranded-”
“I hope you’ll get stranded often then.” He smiled while I tried to rein back the rising heat. “I might even arrange for it to happen.” He deposited a brief and searing kiss on my mouth that did absolutely nothing to cool me off.
“I’m going to need a cold shower too,” I mumbled.
“I’d suggest taking one together, but that would defeat the purpose.”
“It really would.”
He combed another lock off my face, lifted my hair, then released it, watching as each strand fluttered down. “Do you think it might be real gold?”
I gave a very unladylike snort. “I wouldn’t be riddled with debt if it were.”
His gaze turned guarded. “You said you didn’t-”
“It’s nothing.” I bit my lower lip. “Nothing I can’t handle.”
“How much?”
“Not telling you.”
“Why not?”
“Because, it’s personal.”
“So are we. How much?”
“Please, leave it alone.”
He rolled into a sitting position. “Fine. I’ll leave it alone.”
My lips fell open at how swiftly he’d relented. “Thank you.”
“Mm-hmm.” He scooted to the foot of the bed, then swung himself around and latched onto the ladder. “Going to take that much needed shower now. And I’ll put a pot of coffee on.”