Avalyn
Faye Dimension
I felt a connection with him. A familial one. It was a lot like the one I felt with Papa and for that reason, I really wanted him to like me.
And I knew that he seemed like a villain, he sure acted like it. But I felt the good lying underneath the tough exterior. It was hidden by eternal misery, anger and resentment. But the fact that he came to Jivan looking for his mate Fiyona told me just how much he loved and cared for her. It was enough to hold on to the hope that she was alive and to search for her for more than a century.
I didn’t care that he knew about my pregnancy and didn’t tell us, it wasn’t his responsibility to do so. And we needed to build a good relationship for there to be any chance for him to help us.
“You came to look for Fiyona that day, didn’t you? You thought I was her.” His expression changed when I mentioned her name. It was a mixture of anger and hurt yet, his face had somehow remained impassive.
“Uttering that name is a punishable offence in the Fatum Dimension.” He clenched his jaw. So the name of the Faye Dimension was Fatum. He looked at me with pure fury in his black eyes. But I instinctively knew that he wouldn’t hurt me. I just knew.
“You appeared only after I turned into a full faye. You felt my energy and thought it was her. And you came there in search of her.” I deduced and his expression told me that I was right. “You miss her.” I concluded softly.
And for a second, his pained yet hard eyes made me rethink everything. Was this how Nik would be if I did die? Cold, impatient and unwilling to show any emotion other than anger.
A cold shiver wrecked my body when I realised that it was very much possible. The Nik I know and fell in love with would be gone. Who will my children look up to? Nik said he didn’t want to raise our kids, that he couldn’t love them. I had always discarded his words thinking it was impossible, that he would love them the moment he rests his eyes on them. I never believed his words.
Looking at Faelern now, I felt like I was looking at Nik’s future. While I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me, he didn’t seem to have any inclination to help me either. He seemed okay with me dying. Did his anger for his daughter-my mother, run deep enough for it to extend it to me too?
And then his expression changed to fury. “Be careful what you speak of, I can throw you out of Fatum with a snap of my finger.” He thundered. “Be grateful that I allowed you inside in the first place.” Could he control who went in and out of the whole dimension? Being the King, maybe he could.
“Thank you,” Nik took over. “I assume that you know what we are here for.”
“I do. And nothing I have or know can help you.” He said.
“You know that’s not true.” Nik spoke. “There must be something. Please.” Desperation seeped in Nik’s voice.
“The only solution is to kill them.” He said cruelly. “And then since you two will never be able to have children again, the stupid curse will finally end.” My heart squeezed painfully at his words. But it was true, two different species from different dimensions could never breed. It was the law of nature. If something happens to my children, I’ll never be able to become a mother ever again.
“Any solution but that one.” I pleaded. Nik had been telling me this all along. But I couldn’t kill them. I just couldn’t.
“There is no other solution.” He said, finality ringing in his tone. “And if there was, I am under no obligation to provide it to you.”
“You are,” Nik’s anger spiked. “It is because of you that the curse was given in the first place! You have to help cure it too!”
“You do not know what you speak of, wolf.” Faelern thundered, rising from his throne. “Now get the hell out of my Kingdom!” He snapped his fingers and the next thing I knew, we were back in our bedroom.
I immediately clutched Nik’s hand and tried to take us back to Fatum Kingdom again but there seemed to be a barrier that I just couldn’t seem to cross, or break down. And then I was getting tired and I was in pain so just brought us back home.
“We can’t go there anymore, can we?” Nik asked, sounding pissed.
“No,” I whispered, angry tears rising in my eyes. All this time and energy was down the drain. All my hopes were crushed. I’ll never be able to see my own children. I’ll never be able to see Nik. I’ll never be able to… I was feeling breathless.
The fact that I was going to die soon just hit me.
“Abort.” Nikolai said. “Please Avalyn,” he clasped my shoulders. My eyes snapped up at him. Both our eyes holding the realisation that this was it. I either kill my babies and live or sacrifice myself and give them the experience of life. “Please. Live. For me. I’ll never ask anything of you ever again, I’ll-I’ll do anything you want,” his voice got caught in his throat. “I -I can’t lose you. Not you too.”
“I can’t!” I cried. I cannot kill our babies. I just couldn’t!
And then he dropped down to his knees, holding on to my hands for dear life as he cried, “I’m begging you Avalyn! Please. Stay with me. Live with me.”
“Nikolai,” my heart wrenched in pain seeing him kneeling and crying in front of me.
“Please,” he begged, agonising desperation oozing out of his every word. “Stay. Please. Choose me. Love me more. Live with me. Spend your life with me.”
I kneeled down so we were on the same level and then I grabbed his face, making him meet my eye. “They’re our babies, Nikolai!” My heart broke as I tried to explain it to him. “Our blood and flesh. They’re made out of love, we made them out of love….” my breath hitched. “I -we can’t.”
His face crumpled up with so much pain that my heart cracked. “You said you loved me. You’re just a liar.”
“I do. I do love you.” I cried.
“I know you do,” he whispered, lowering his head, “just not enough.” He shook his head before he stood up and backed away from me. He was shutting me out. “You don’t love me enough to choose me.”
I cried harder.
My hands rested on the floor to hold myself up, “I -I don’t know what to do, Nik!” I sobbed. “I’m trying to do the right thing, I’m tryin-”
“The right thing would be to live,” his voice was hoarse. “You’re my mate. You made promises to me. I need you. The whole Kingdom needs you. You need to fulfil the promises you made to them too.”
“And when I realised I was pregnant, I made a vow to my children that I’d do my best for them.” I whispered, my throat aching.