Jonathan knocked on Liza’s door, on receiving no answer he cracked the door open only to find her sleeping. He entered the room, closing the door gently behind him and sat beside her. Liza’s hair were splayed over the pillow and her eyes were fluttering behind her closed eyelids, a small smile graced her lips and he wondered what she was dreaming about ,’ certainly not about you’ his inner self poke. Suddenly her smile disappeared and her breathing became labored and within seconds she began screaming and thrashing. Jonathan shook her “Liza, its fine. It’s alright baby. It is just a nightmare. You are alright Liza. I am here, I am always with you baby.” He soothed her. After a few minutes of soothing Liza’s nightmare had died down and she was once again asleep peaceful. Jonathan had forgotten how horrible Liza’s nightmares had been. He regretted letting her spend so many nights alone, letting her battle with these nightmares alone. Never again he promised himself. He promised to never let her face them alone from now on. He had allowed her to push him away today but from tomorrow he would be doing everything in his power to bring her back to him.
Liza woke up to the sight of a sleeping Jonathan. Jonathan was sleeping beside her, his right hand resting on her head, his head leaned back to rest on the wall. His breathing was even and he looked peaceful. It was so different than the mornings she had been waking up to lately. Liza removed his hand from her head and placed it into his lap. She got up and limped to the bathroom. Liza freshened up, washed her face and went to the kitchen to get coffee. She had surprisingly slept well. She remembered experiencing the nightmare and she also remembered how Jonathan’s voice had calmed her down. Even in her half unconscious state she could make out the words he spoke, he promised to stay with her over and over again, how she wished he actually meant it. Liza sighed and busied herself in preparing the breakfast.
Jonathan’s eyes snapped open when he heard a scream which sounded just like Liza. His body sprang into action as he ran outside to from where he heard the scream. He came out to the scene of Liza staring at something behind him with a pale face. Jonathan turned his gaze in the direction at which Liza was staring at, only to find a blinking Lizard staring back at him with astonishing intensity. Jonathan had almost forgotten Liza’s hate for lizards and all slimy crawly creatures. “Get that thing out of the house” Liza shrieked. Jonathan sighed and got to work.
After the Lizard had been chased out of the house and Jonathan had stopped panting from all the physical activity he had just undertaken, he went to his bedroom and began to put his plan of getting Liza back, into action. He knew that Liza wasn’t aware of the fact that he had read her letters and was aware that she knew about his shameful affair with Stacey. So he decided to begin by showing Liza that he would never leave her side, but the main question was how would he do it ? . Jonathan had lost Liza’s trust due to his actions and as much as he wished that he could undo them , he knew that it wasn’t possible. He had always looked up to Alice for help in such matters and although he loved Liza, he knew that he would never be able to understand Liza like Alice does. 1the Liza he was dealing with right now was completely different from the one he knew. When he had started to date Liza, he had to work hard to gain her trust and to get her to trust him again would be a thousand times more difficult. He had no idea from where to start so he decided to start with a simple apology.
Liza was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV, when Jonathan came and stood in front her. “You are blocking the TV Jonathan, move. ” Liza said in an uninterested tone. “I… um… I wanted to give you something” Jonathan said rubbing the back of his neck. Liza could see that he was nervous” Ok, give what you have and move out of the way “Liza said maintain her indifference. Jonathan switched off the TV and kneeled down in front her so that his face was in level with hers. Liza was shocked at this sudden closeness. Jonathan took hold of Liza’s hands and looked straight into her eyes, all the signs of hesitancy and nervousness vanishing from him. “I have done some things that I am not proud of and I regret each and every one of them. But the worst thing I have done is losing your trust and you. I know after what I shouldn’t even look at you but I will still ask you for a chance. I should let you go but I can’t. I am selfish Liza. I am sorry for everything I have done. I am sorry for doubting you, for not trusting you and for losing your trust. But Liza please give me a chance to prove myself. I am not the same man, I took you for granted and I lost you. I will make up for every tear you have shed. Just let me try, give me a chance. It is difficult but not impossible. What we have is pure, let me try and save it.” Jonathan said his eyes burning into Liza’s eyes.
Had he said the same words a few weeks back Liza would have jumped into his arms but it was too late now. She had once believed his sincere words and eyes, she won’t repeat it again. There was no trace of that Liza now and all she was capable of feeling at the moment was anger. Liza was done trying to hold everything in, so now she let herself burst. She pulled her hands away from Jonathans grasp and got up making Jonathan stumble from his position.
“There is nothing to save Jonathan, what we had is now gone. I don’t even know if what we had was even real. You said you love me I call it crap. You wouldn’t have doubted me if you loved me and you definitely wouldn’t have slept with Stacey if you loved me. Do you know how many days I have spent trying to figure out what was wrong with me or where I was lacking? Never did I once think that maybe it was you was a stinking lying unfaithful man. I spent so many nights alone wondering what you were doing. My mind used to suffocate me by bringing up images of what you could have been doing with Stacey at that moment. I still made attempts to save our relationship but all my efforts were in vain. I guess I should have known about it from the start. No man who loves someone would be cruel enough to cheat on her. You didn’t even seem to care about me, your eyes held no guilt. I washed those damned lipstick marks off your shirts and every night you used to bring new ones home. The worst part is that I didn’t even let them break me. I kept on believing that you still loved me, that you just went astray for a little while. But the moment you threw those divorce papers at me was the moment when I realized that our relationship was not even worth saving anymore. I loved you and look where that left me. I am no longer myself. You broke me, made me empty. I can’t even look at you without feeling pain. So I am saying this for the last time Jonathan, don’t come near me ever again. You have already damaged me enough and I don’t think if I can handle more of it.” With this Liza walked away, leaving Jonathan standing there.
Jonathan stood there in shock. He had expected Liza to shout at him, slap him even kiss him but he hadn’t expected Liza to say all of this in her cold detached tone. He knew that he had put Liza through hell but hearing it from her own mouth was a new kind of torture to him.
Liza quickly left the drawing room and locked herself in her room. Her façade was breaking and she refused to shed a single tear in front of Jonathan. It brought back all the memories of past few months, slashing her like knives. A part of her had managed to lock them away and numb herself but Jonathan’s apology had brought them all back. It would be a lie to say that some part of her didn’t want Jonathan back but a major part of her refused to let her even toy with the idea. She had been hurt too much. She had loved him and he had burned her in return, she couldn’t let herself get burned again, he wasn’t worth that much pain anymore.