Carson smiled, such blind faith, “A good record doesn’t guarantee I’ll be able to protect you or the baby if something bad happens.”
Ellie moved to him and laid her head on his chest, “Don’t think of the bad things. I think of the good things. And I think feeling like that is normal for dads.”
He wished it was that easy and normal but it wasn’t. He put his arm around her and held her close, kissing the top of her head, “One step at a time. You want some ice cream?”
“Actually,” she pulled up and stared at him with an embarrassed look on her face. “Being pregnant is the weirdest thing,” she bit her lip, wondering if she should say something.
“What else, other than the insane cravings?” he tagged at her curly hair and watched as they sprang back to place.
“Another kind of craving,” she covered her face with her hands and giggled, “Oh god this is so embarrassing.”
“What?”
Standing up from the couch and going to the kitchen, “Forget it, I’ll just have the ice cream.” She pulled out a tub of ice cream from the freezer and opened it, digging up a full spoon of strawberry chocolate chip ice cream and putting it in her mouth.
He stood up and turned to her. “Wait, cravings?” With an arched brow his lips lifted in half a smile, “My kind of craving?”
She rolled her eyes and smiled shyly, “You are impossible!” She walked back to him, the tub of ice cream in her hand.
“Is it an insane craving?” he placed his hands on her round waist and pulled her to him, “Like you want me right now craving?”
“It’s the hormones, I can’t help it!” She grumbled.
“But I can,” he whispered seductively, and then nibbled on her ear. He got heated when he heard her moan. She tried to put the tub down but he took it instead, “I can find some use for that.” He kissed her, savaging her mouth and pulling her high and close to him with one arm. He hoisted her up on his waist with one hand, the other still securely holding on to the tub. He rushed to her room, closing the door with his foot, the entire time, their lips still locked in a hungry kiss. He set her down and put the tub down on her bed side table to free his hand. He broke the kiss for a moment to pull her vest and his shirt off.
She felt like she was about to explode if he didn’t make love to her that moment. She grabbed his pants and pulled him down on top of her, as she lay down on the bed. Her hunger for him was so intense she felt like she could eat him whole. “Wait,” he gasped, “won’t this hurt the baby?”
“No,” her breathe raged, “just be gentle.”
He moved down and kissed the bump, “I promise not to break you.”
The comment made Ellie laugh hard, “You can’t be serious!”
“I was just giving him a heads up,” he moved up and tugged on her lips with his teeth, “Now, back to taking care of mommy.”
Ellie laughed, as she kissed him back, “You are impossible and I’m stuck with you.”
He looked into her eyes with such intensity it made her shiver, and said “Completely, irreversibly inseparable.”
Ellie could tell he meant it, and the doubt she’d carried in her heart felt lighter, not completely gone, but lighter.
Carson ran his thumb over her lower lip, his eyes still on her, but his mind elsewhere. His brow was furrowed and he had a faraway look in his eyes.
“Dale, what is it?”
His lips spread in a slight smile, “Ellie, I’m going to say something and I really hope you don’t take this the wrong way.”
Oh no, “What?”
“I love you. I’m in love with you.”
She felt her heart jump, “Sorry, what?”
He chuckled, “Don’t look so shocked. I know I came off as a player-”
“You are a player.”
He went on, ignoring her, “-the night we met. But when you left me, I got stuck in this rut that I’ve never been in before. It was like you took a vital piece of me with you and I hated the empty feeling. You completely threw my life off track.”
She gave him a guarded smile, “That’s a good thing, right?”
His lips parted in a deeper grin, “It’s a wonderful thing. It’s the best and the scariest, most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.”
She felt her body relax, “And the baby?”
He reached between them and stroked her belly, “Especially the baby.”
“But you are worried that I’ll think you only told me you love me because of the baby?”
His lips shrunk to a half a smile as he nodded.
She felt the doubt disappear, and she loved it.
She ran her fingers over his bearded chin. She loved the scratchy feel of it against her soft skin. “The truth is, I was worried you didn’t love me back because… you’ve thrown my life off track too. I’m truly in love with you… even if the baby wasn’t in the package deal.”
He chuckled, “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”
She shrugged, then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, “I don’t care. You love me, I love you and in a few months we’ll finally get to hold our beautiful baby. We’re happy. I have everything I could ever want… well except for one thing.”
His brow creased, “What?”
“Stud service, mama is horny.”
He threw his head back and laughed. Then he flipped them around, putting her on top “Daddy is extremely happy to oblige. Ride away.”
Carson stared out the car window, contemplating how different his life had become these past five months and what was in store for him once his kid was born. He couldn’t live the life of a bachelor anymore; he was going to be a family man.
Did he miss his former life? He wasn’t sure. He would miss the care free life though, not worrying if his family would be safe once he stepped out of his home.
Correction, their home.
The next day after he found out about their baby, he demanded- more like begged- Ellie to move in with him. She didn’t like the strong bold colors and decor in his apartment. And of course hated his ‘promiscuous’ bed even after he told her over and over again that he never brought any of his dates to his place. Long story short, like a good boyfriend he conceded, bought a new bed and paid for extensive renovations to the apartment. His once upon a time bachelor pad looks like a chic art gallery with the most perfect nursery he’d ever seen and a master bedroom that aroused more than just relaxation.
She may be an art nut, but with a paint brush, she knew how to capture a mood and inspire a lot more.
Carson did worry about missing the little things that were so hugely important. He had missed a couple of ultra sounds, and Ellie told him not to sweat it, but he still felt guilty about it. His guilt only mounted when she called him excitedly when the baby performed one of its acrobatic routines inside her. He wouldn’t be able to take it if he missed its first steps.
Yeah, he missed his carefree life, not having to give a proof of life three times a day when there was a case very far away from home. He missed not having the guilt of coming home and finding his pregnant girlfriend asleep on the couch waiting for him, just to make sure he was back in one piece. He missed going out for late drinks after a case, picking up a girl just because he could with very little effort on his part, and not having to ask for permission if he wanted to go out.
He cherished the days he didn’t have to dodge shoes, blow driers, pans and whatever else that could be picked up and thrown at him when she was in one of her erratic pregnancy moods. When all of a sudden she remembered she hated him for ruining her figure, for her not being able to fit into her skinny jeans or her feet were too huge to fit into her favorite pair of shoes, or the fact her bladder was reduced to the size of a peanut. And of course, it was his fault she was fat, ugly, disgusting and unattractive.
He laughed just thinking about it. She was so cute when she cried for no apparent reason. She’d pout, and then she’d tear up and finally lock herself in the bathroom with a tub of ice cream and ball her eyes out. And he’d sit on the other side of the door begging her to come out, telling her how much he loved her and how beautiful she was carrying his gift inside her. And then she’d come out smiling telling him how much she loved him. It worked every time.
Yes he missed his old life, but he loved his new life even more.
“How does it feel, knowing she’s about to pop any day now?” Kevin asked with an excited look on his face, breaking into his thoughts.
Since Ellie came into his life, he found himself think about her more than anything else, sometimes even more than the cases! Distracting, yes, but so worth it for a few moments of loving peace, out of the endless hours of death and horror.
Carson’s grin widened, “We are still a couple of weeks away.” he strapped his bullet proof vest on then checked his gun. Kevin’s driving had gotten better over the months. Carson figured he should give him a chance to drive, practice letting go, once he had taught his own kid how to drive.
“She’s hit thirty-six weeks already, that baby could drop any time. She might be in labor right now.” Kevin stopped at the fancy suburban house, pulling out his gun before he stepped out of the car.
“Don’t jinx me Kevin.” Carson said, putting on his ear piece.
“We move on my mark,” Richard’s voice came through. Before he could say anything else, the sound of loud shots ripped through the air. “Carson and Kevin take the back!” He ordered his voice steady and controlled.
Kevin and Carson rushed to the back, guns high, heads low. They waited for Richard and his backup to break through the front door and apprehend them. And if they couldn’t they would push the suspects out though the back, where they would be laying in wait.
They heard the door break and then shouting. The crushing and the gun shots made Carson itch. He didn’t understand why it was taking so long to apprehend them. He opened the door by a crack, and he could hear the blood rush in his ears, the adrenaline junky inside him relishing the anticipation.
Before he could open the door further, it was yanked open pulling Carson in with it. He held his gun up higher and pointed it at the man, as he stared down the barrel of his gun. He could hear the blood rush in his ears louder and he felt the beat of his heart at the tips of his fingers, eager to pull the trigger but patient for provocation. It took the man a second faster than Carson to pull the trigger.
The two shots rang out loud, each bullet hitting its target.