“I heard you gave Cassandra a good beating,” Lady Ursula pointed out, her wrinkly eyes directed at Solene who sat on a couch in the living room like an obedient student would. The former was on the threshold, holding her cane whilst standing one foot forward. It had been two days after the incident yet it was still fresh in Solene’s mind, poking her ego but just like last time, it didn’t make her feel guilty.
“I have no choice,” Solene stated, “I needed to explain my side too. She had a point and I truly feel sorry for it, but that doesn’t mean she had to condemn me all the way.”
“Good stand, Mistress,” Lady Ursula nodded. She moved from the threshold to the sole window of the room in awkward steps and continued, “It seems your recent argument with her leads us to our next lesson this morning.”
“And what is that, Lady Ursula?” Solene asked feeling curious.
“Controlling your emotions,” the old woman simply answered. “Once you control them, you will gain mastery over your powers and you’ll also be able to wield the grimoire better.” Her attention moved to the said book on Solene’s lap and then back to her. “Have you summoned your familiar as I told you?”
“Yes, every night,” Solene replied with enthusiasm, “however, I couldn’t sustain its presence no longer than ten minutes.”
“I see…” Lady Ursula mused. “Once you master your powers, you’ll be able to allow the Oratongi to stay by your side even for the entire day.”
Solene’s eyes sparkled and she smiled widely. “Oh, that’s good to hear. I enjoy that four-headed fluff’s company while Henri is not with me.”
“Hmf, figures,” Lady Ursula released a grin. The beast was exceptionally a softie when in Solene’s presence, but with the others, it was a true fangs-baring, claw-slashing beast; basically like the King of Sattus. “Alright, let’s start with naming your emotions and the reasons behind it.”
Solene was taken aback with her order.
“Uh, do I have to?” She slowly cleared her throat, feeling as if there was a lump lodged in it.
Lady Ursula’s searing gaze didn’t change. “Of course, and I need you to be as honest as possible.”
Hearing this, Solene had no choice. This was part of her training so she had to deliver. After probing herself for a whole minute, she started with the basic ones.
“Longing,” she eyed the old woman without hesitation, “for the comfort of my family. I miss them a lot.”
“It’s a given, Mistress,” Lady Ursula accepted. “You’re seas apart from them.”
Solene released a soft smile before continuing.
“Confusion, with all of these things happening to me. Although I admit, I’m slowly understanding and learning it.”
“I know you are. Go on.”
“Sadness, towards all the misfortunes in my life and the affected lives just because of me.” Solene tried her best to hide the tremble in her voice, but still, it persisted.
“Mistress, don’t beat yourself too much. Everything has a reason.” Lady Ursula kept her gaze steady despite sensing the younger woman’s sadness. In this dimension she created, she could feel everything and anything. Nothing escapes her notice. Even the tiniest change of Solene’s heartbeat or breathing, she would know.
“Go on,” she then urged.
“Uncertainty, because I don’t know what would happen to me in the future, after my birthday specifically.”
“That’s the beauty in living, to not know what lies ahead,” Lady Ursula pointed out, her words matching well with her wisdom. “That is why we prepare for what would come. This is why we are doing this, right?”
Solene released a long sigh and nodded. “Thank you for your insight, Lady Ursula. I needed that.”
“You’re welcome. Now, what else?”
“I’m feeling happy and proud because I’ve come a long way. I’m skilled, combat-wise and defense-wise, thanks to Anklet. I’m wiser now. I could make spells which aren’t even possible to me in the past.”
“When your powers unlock, Solene, you could do more, but I am happy to know that you have grown these past two months.”
A small smile left Solene’s mouth as she heard the old woman’s words.
Yeah, technically, she had been inside this made-up world for two months but in reality, she had only been here for two weeks. However, that didn’t stop her from missing Henri. God knows how much she wanted his presence all over her… to feel his skin against hers… hear his lulling voice in her ears… feel his mouth probing every inch of her… and feel his glorious erection inside her…
Oh god, she missed him inside her.
“You’re quiet. You don’t have any more to add?” Lady Ursula interrupted, demanding her attention.
Solene met her gaze for a second and then rerouted it to the floor beneath them.
“Love and desire, for… for Henri,” she spilled with her cheeks reddening and her body heating up.
“You’re married to him after all, that’s a given,” Lady Ursula contained herself from smiling. This was a revelation she expected to hear since days ago and she was so pleased to hear it now. “Does he know you love him?”
Solene immediately shook her head. “No, I… I just recently realized it and I haven’t told him yet.”
Yes, realized it—meaning, her recent encounter with Cassandra made her think of Henri and how much she didn’t want any other woman to love him. She wanted him all to herself. She desired him. Her thoughts were filled with all of him. These three reasons were obviously enough to tell her she was in love with her husband.
“I guess this is one of the great news he’ll receive once you leave this place,” Lady Ursula remarked with, this time, a bigger grin.
“I know…” Solene trailed off, smiling to herself and blushing some more.
“Okay,” Lady Ursula stepped closer towards her and continued, “now, let’s—”
“No, wait!” Solene hastily interrupted. “There’s still one more emotion, Lady Ursula.”
The old woman didn’t look surprised when she stared at Solene. “Proceed,” she said with a flip of her hand.
“Hatred,” Solene breathed out.
“Hatred?” Lady Ursula’s brow arched up. She could sense this emotion from Solene too, but couldn’t pinpoint why.
“You should know that when my father died, I saw this dark blue-haired man next to him,” Solene started. “I was six back then. I didn’t know what that man was, only that I was sure he took my father away. Growing up and taking thanatology as a special course, I now know it was a grim reaper. I know they only take souls of those who have died or are dying but is that really true? This explanation is only written in books. There is no evidence to prove if grim reapers only stay within the boundary of their job. What if they betray their system? What if they do kill this time? I’m sure the blue-haired man killed my father and because of this, I only feel hatred towards this being.”
“Solene, your suspicions are valid and understandable,” Lady Ursula crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. “Books could never encompass the truth of all things, grim reapers included.”
She glanced at the field outside the window and recollected memories about her family’s history. “As you already know, this family operates around them, so we have more than concrete proof of what is truly going on.” She redirected her attention to Solene with as much seriousness as her eyes could muster. “What you said is true. Grim reapers have the ability to kill too. We have three or four cases wherein a grim reaper did cause the human’s death. Well, maybe not intentionally but still, yes, death happened and they were the ones to blame.”
Solene’s hands curled into fists as she heard it.
“That is why being a grim reaper must be threaded with care,” Lady Ursula continued. “Humans and supernatural creatures, as much as possible, shouldn’t exist together. This is the reason we have the realms to separate us.”
“Then, I’m not crazy to think about these things,” Solene muttered to herself, feeling somewhat relieved.
“You said a dark blue-haired grim reaper, right?” the old woman sought to clarify.
Solene nodded. “Yes, I saw him with my own eyes. Tell me, Lady Ursula, since all the grim reapers are under the Rantzen’s control, had you seen that man who fitted my description?”
“Tell me, Solene,” Lady Ursula fired back, ultimately disregarding her question, “if you find this dark blue-haired entity, will you kill him?”
Solene clenched her teeth whilst fiery determination lit her eyes.
“I long to avenge my father, so yes. I long to wipe out this grim reaper’s existence for good.”
Lady Ursula was contemplative for a moment. “I understand,” she said thereafter. “All these things considered, you should control your emotions more. Reconcile with them if you wish to master your powers.”
She pointed to the grimoire on Solene’s lap and ordered, “Go to page three hundred fifty-one of your grimoire. There lists a number of spells you can use for practice. Each spell draws an emotion. If you are unstable with a certain emotion then the spell would come out weak. I’m guessing you’ll pass with the other emotions save for one: hatred. Find a way to work with it, Solene, or else this will bring you down.”
Solene opened the book to the said page and there they were, a list of spells all in cursive writing. Maybe what Lady Ursula said was right, she was indeed in a twist when it came to her last emotion, but she promised herself to find a way around it.
From the corner, Lady Ursula observed. She was highly confident Solene could pass this very important part of the training, but she was grossly worried too that her hatred for the said grim reaper would become her downfall.
Furrowing her brows, she decided to do something to fix this problem.
“And oh, Solene?” she requested the younger woman’s attention again, “to answer your earlier question, yes, I have seen a man that fits your description, only that it had been years since the last time I saw him.”
She moved closer to Solene and stooped low, leveling her face with hers.
“He is… what I call… elusive. He doesn’t visit much the estate, but let me tell you this clue, Solene…”
Then, Lady Ursula whispered something in her ear which in turn made Solene widen her eyes.