Reyansh’s POV
Since that incident, even though many years have passed, I have never brought up the subject because it is a sensitive subject for both of us. Hridhan initially tried to force me to discuss the subject, but he soon realized I didn’t want to talk about the incident or that night.
But he had the right to know about that night and what happened then, however, I never got the courage to initiate the topic. Despite my discomfort, I knew it was important for Hridhan to know what happened to her. As she meant the world to him and he had every right to know the truth.
” I need to discuss that night of the incident,” I said with a serious tone.
The moment he registered my words, the smile vanished from his face and his expression turned serious. He tried to hide his sadness, but his eyes were speaking for him. I could sense a solemn atmosphere in the room as Hridhan sat back. I gave him space to process his feelings and prepare for the oncoming revelation. I could feel my heart racing as I began to recount the events of that night.
“You know you didn’t talk about that incident even when I tried to bring it up before, Reyansh. What prompted you to bring it up now.” Hridhan’s inquiry was accompanied by a gentle and sad tone, which made it difficult for me to proceed with my story. I feel guilty for not sharing that night with him, even when I knew how important it was for him. I will always feel guilty for not telling him this part earlier.
Even when he suspected I wasn’t telling him the truth, he never forced me to, and he was always available when I needed him. He was with me at all times during my depression. He was the only support system I had throughout that time, and he acknowledged and fulfilled his job as the only support system any individual can perform.
As I began to recount the events of that night, memories flooded my mind.
“She was everything to you, and you deserve to know the truth about it from the beginning. Although I am sure you are interested in every detail, you never inquired about that particular evening. I am aware of how oppressive it is for you to be powerless to prevent someone you loved from dying and to know nothing about how they passed away. Your right to know the truth was one you had from the start, and I took it from you in a brutal way that no one would do to a friend, but I did it to you.” By the end of my explanation, I could control my emotions no longer and tears flowed down my face. I didn’t dare to look at my best friend after what I did to him. The weight of guilt is making it hard for me to continue. I was barely controlling my tears for him because I know after my breakdown he won’t let me finish after seeing me in such agony.
“You were suffering from great loss, Reyansh. She was your sister with whom you were close and lived together for many years. My relationship with her was and will always be deep and different from yours, but it does not mean that I am not hurt or feel the gravity of her loss. But I also know what you are suffering after her loss is not comparable to my pain. I loved her and will always love her, she was family to me too, but you were her brother and she was your only family after your parents, the bond you shared with her can never be measured or equated. So, I understand why it was difficult for you to share this with me and whatever step you will take regarding this matter I will always be with you through it.” he said in a deep and pained voice, showing how difficult it was for him too.
He put his hand on my shoulder to show his support and I felt a sense of relief. I never deserved him as my friend, he is everything one could ask in a family member and friend.
I continued to recount the events of that night, with Hridhan listening attentively and offering support when needed.
“You were aware that she was my only family after my parents who were murdered by another mafia group. She was my life after my parents, my only family, my little sister, Mia Rout,” I recounted with a pained voice, tears welling up in my eyes.
“That night, I failed to shield her, and I still struggle with guilt over it. You know, I had a strange feeling that something was about to happen that I might not be able to handle. She insisted on attending the party even though I told her not to. I fervently wish I had intervened or accompanied her myself.” I tried to express the guilt and regret I still felt after all these years as I looked him in the eyes and spoke in a painful tone while letting tears fall freely. I desperately needed his understanding and support, which he offered without hesitation or judgment. I’ve had regret and pain in my chest for four years, and I need to be free of them now more than anything. But I know I am the only one who can free myself from this pain, and that is not going to happen in any time the near future. Hridhan sat there silently, listening to my story, and I felt a sense of relief wash over me as I finally opened up about the incident with someone who understood me and offered his support without conditions.
Hridhan had his eyes downcast not letting me see his pain during the revelation.
“We can talk another day if you are not comfortable talking about it anymore today, Reyansh”, Hridhan said gently but he couldn’t hide the hoarseness in his voice due to sadness, understanding my emotional toll of recounting such emotional events.
“It’s more crucial for you to know the truth than it is for me to feel emotional pain; instead, I want to let it out so that I can release this weight from my shoulders. To avoid my emotional distress, I had put off doing this far longer than was necessary. But today, I’ll be completely open”, I said in the most painful voice.
It is more important for him to know everything and today I’ll let it all out. She was important to both of us, and her loss has deeply affected us both.
“There is one more thing you should know. I don’t want to acknowledge it but… I feel like I’ll be regretting the choice I made at that time because of the situation I’m in right now.
When I got to know about the murderer of my sister I felt like I need to take matters into my hand but I was not in control of my emotions at that moment, and I made a decision I regret now. I decided to sit back and didn’t investigate on my level and let the police handle it. As time goes on, more knowledge and information become available, and I begin to understand that my choice might have had significant repercussions. At that time every single thing was pointing towards her. I just made the decision that I felt was right at that time. I just wanted to punish her to give my sister the justice that she deserved. I just want her to be guilty because if she was framed then I am going to regret it more than that night.” I said, feeling a sense of guilt wash over me again as I recounted my decision to Hridhan.
Hridhan squeezed my shoulder in a show of support and understanding. That act break all the dams of my tears channel as I let myself cry and release the emotional pain that had been building up inside me. I may portray myself strong and cold but when it comes to my sister’s loss, I am like an open wound that still hurts every day.
Taking a deep breath and calming my emotions I continued, “That night she had planned a party that her friend had organized, I was supposed to attend as well, but that same night, as you may recall, we received an urgent shipment order from Russia. Since no one was available to protect her, I called her to cancel the plans. She insisted on going to the party despite my advice for her to stay at home but she said she had an important business at that party and she had to attend it at any cost. She promised me she will go with Nick and take care of her safety. I didn’t want to allow her. But she can be rebellious at times. I didn’t want her to sneak out and put herself in danger, so I trusted her and didn’t give it much thought because I knew she would have gone to the party regardless of the circumstances.”
Even today, I still regret it a lot. How much I wish I had pursued her more to get her to stay at home and skip the party. I should have warned Nick to keep an eye on her.
My eyes were watering so much that I was unable to stop them.
Recalling that night incident and how I found Mia in a pool of blood on the floor, I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not doing more to protect her.
“She was murdered at that party by none other than but her best friend, Aanya.” I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists, the anger seeping through my words. I still want to believe that it was her who murdered my sister but a part of me believes that she may be innocent and falsely accused.