“You had the visions?” Kyan asks, his voice is low and his brows crease down the middle, while he is biting the corner of his lip. He tilts his head to the side and watches me worriedly.
“I need to speak to Kaif,” I tell him, staring him straight in the eyes. I need to do this! His brows furrow in confusion once again, and I can feel his emotions start to build.
“Why do you want Kaif?” Kyan questions, his anxiety peaks as fear sets in.
“I need to speak to him alone, Kyan. I don’t want you listening in,” I tell him seriously. This is between Kaif and me.
“You’re not going to reject him, are you?” Kyan asks as his voice trembles. His eyes are wide and almost pleading. This man, who fears nothing, now looks at me with vulnerability and fear is edged on to his face, his eyes unmasked.
“What? No, of course not. Please, I just need to ask him something,” I reassure him, while cupping his face in my hands, reaching for his hands. I squeeze them gently, and I give him a small smile.
“I’m not going anywhere. I saw what Kaif did, but I know he had his reasons. Kaif did nothing I wouldn’t have done if our roles were reversed,” I reassure him. Kyan’s anxiety through the bond is loud and clear; he fears why I want to speak to Kaif, yet is also scared Kaif would do something to me now that the darkness of his curse has been awoken and given to me. But darkness was always a part of me. I was born with it. Lived and breathed it. It can’t taint what is already stained and made of darkness. It has always been a part of me, nothing new. I’m used to its crazed madness, and the cold, unsettling voices. I’ve endured them all my life.
“I can handle Kaif, Kyan; I am not worried about Kaif hurting me. Besides, I will just kick his ass with your father’s magic,” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. I need Kyan to trust me with this. Kyan seems to think for a second; he rubs a hand over his face before nodding and standing up. Is that a yes?
“And you’re not leaving me?” Kyan questions, and my heart breaks to see him like this.
“I swear on the Moon Goddess,” I promise him sweetly, and he laughs. His laugh feels so foreign coming from the broody Kyan, but honestly, his smile has me swooning, and I silently vow to cherish each of those gorgeous smiles, as I know they are reserved just for me and Jonah.
“Just try to be quick; I don’t enjoy being in the dark with him,” Kyan tells me. He leans down and grips my face in his hands. His eyes search for any deceit in my words from earlier. “I don’t like this,” he murmurs.
“You have nothing to fear, Kyan. I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper. Kyan presses his lips in a line before exhaling and nodding his head. He kisses me softly. I return his kiss instantly, knowing he needs my reassurance. I know he is still disbelieving of my intentions with Kaif. He lets me go and stands up.
“I want Kaif in his form,” I tell him.
“You want me to shift completely?” Kyan asks hesitantly.
He is a little taken aback. But I know Kyan can press forward and rein back control in human form. Kaif’s form, not so much, and I know Kaif can block him out entirely in his true form.
“I will be quick, then I will make him give you control back, I promise,” he sighs and reluctantly shifts. I watch as his clothes shred. His skin turns to fur. His bones crack and elongate until his head is scraping the low roof. Kaif tilts his head, peering down at me.
“Couldn’t have picked the living room?” he asks, knocking on the roof with his fist before lowering himself to the ground and sitting with his knees bent.
“Sorry, I forgot you’re nearly right feet tall,” I chuckle.
“Eight feet one,” Kaif corrects, while leaning back against the bathroom door frame where the wall is strongest. Kaif watches me, his eyes calculating, like a predator watching its prey, looking for some weakness, some fault. Looking for some sign that the madness has tainted me and he needs to kill me.
“Are you looking to see if what I saw changed me?” I ask him, and he nods, looking away guiltily. I feel sorry for him, the fact that he’s even feeling like that about himself.
“I am not like the rest of them; I’m aware of your reasons, Kaif. You don’t scare me, and I’m not scared of our future, so you shouldn’t be either,” I tell him softly as I climb off the bed and approach him. I mean every word of it too.
Kaif watches me, his eyes grow darker and I move nearer. “It always repeats, love. Forgive me if I am a little skeptical,” Kaif says, and I bite the inside of my lip. He tilts his head to the side and I stop beside him. Even with him sitting, his frame is at the height of my chest. His eyes roam over me, blood red and shadowed with wariness. Seeing him watching me so closely makes me nervous; I’m very aware of how easily he can kill me if he chooses.
“We haven’t had a baby yet. I’m not looking to be a kiddie killer anytime soon,” I tell him, trying to lighten the mood but it doesn’t work, instead his eyes darken, his thoughts turn clouded as he stares at the floor for a few seconds, deep in thought.
“But the ghosts of my past know you are different. They could try other ways… But I don’t believe you would let them win,” he says after a moment.
“Then why are you worried?” I ask as confusion flits through me.
“I guess I’m worried you would hate me, especially for the last few,” Kaif answers hesitantly.
“Because you never even marked them? You killed them without even trying to break the curse. Because they weren’t tainted yet?” I ask him, and he nods.
“It still would have been the same with them; I just eliminated the threat before they became one,” he says, his eyes flicking to me again. The look he gives me makes me swallow, and I can feel my heart beating faster at his words. A sliver of fear flits through me before I regain myself.