Growing up, he was all I had until I no longer had him anymore. To the rest of the world, he was cruel and strict, but to me, he was dad, my hero and biggest supporter, and then he was gone.
One play date, one day, and my entire world was tossed upside down. I looked everywhere for a reason but, I never thought that reason was me, that I would be his ultimate demise. I knew he sacrificed his life for mine, but I didn’t know it was because I killed him. It just proves how much of a monster I am. If only everyone knew the true sacrifice he made.
But I need to know. I need to know for sure. Rolling my sleeves to my elbows, I force myself to my feet, looking for the jar. My claws slip from my fingertips as I stand and move toward my jars before grabbing the one with dried deadly nightshade. I pull a handful from the jar before sitting on the bed.
“Kyan, what are you doing?” Jonah asks frantically.
“I need to know,” I mutter.
“Know what? Lucas just told you?”
“I just need to see for myself; I need to know what he gave her,” I tell him, staring down at the plant.
The shadows are dangerous to play with, I know I can, but that doesn’t make the risks any less, especially if I become trapped in them, trapped in the past that has no future.
I open my palm, staring at the dried plant, crumbling it between my fingers before forcing myself to swallow it down. Kaif growls. He hates the shadows. He can’t hide there; it is where he belongs, me however, I belong here and going into them could kill us both. But I need to know, and so does Kaif, and the only way to the shadow realm is to die in this world and move through the shadows of the past, our ancestors or in my case, my fathers past.
I rake my claws down each arm, and Kaif fights the urge to heal me as I bleed out, we will have to teeter on the brink of death, and my heart will need to stop, just temporarily.
“Ostende mihi sanguinem pro sanguine, sanguinem pro peccato, sanguinem pro praeterito, sanguinem meum ostende mihi peccatum,” I murmur, falling backward on the bed.
Jonah’s voice screams in my head, his voice grows softer and indistinguishable as I float, ticking down with each slowing beat of my heart as it thuds in my ears.
Shadows, like a shadow on the sidewalk, only trapped in time, trapped with an essence, as I travel between plains, searching through the clouds of death, each one trying to cling to me, trying to get me to stay and hold me here with them as I filter through. So peaceful, promising the world is at my fingertips if I just stay; the key is remembering it is the shadow realm, the realm of nothing but the past. A place where nothing lives or dies, just limbo forever stuck.
I push further before finding the shadow of that day, the shadow of a war he was not a part of. I watch as an observer, instead of an active part.
My father retrieves a screaming Mara from the car, and I walk around the scene, needing to see from another point of view other than his back.
I move into his line of vision and I am stunned for a second when he looks directly where I stand as if he knew I would come through the shadows to this exact moment.
“You don’t need to forgive her; forgive yourself. Nothing would prevent it,” he looks down at Marabella in his arms.
“Isn’t that right, sweetheart? You will break my curse, and you will save us all. You just need to survive Kaif first,” he murmurs, poking her little nose with his fingers as he turns around. Chaos is going on around us everywhere when I hear a scream, and my father turns back to face me. His face twists in pain, and his lips part, and I jump at the jolt of his body. I can feel the pulse of my blood in my veins as I watch his skin gray.
“For you, I give my life and my magic, for I am your guardian and you are Kaif’s keeper. You are Kyan’s heart and they are my life, and you, my dear, are their redemption, mea magica sanguinem meum pro te sanguinem,” he whispers before I see him slip the shadows and his magic to her before pressing his bloody thumb to her forehead.
Marabella’s eyes glow black, even the whites around the eyes, and she blows bubbles, eating her fist unaware of what he gave her as he turns and collapses. His grip does not falter until the life drains out of him and she rolls in his lap when someone lets out a blood-curdling scream.
I gasp, throwing myself back into the land of the living. He gave it to her, he gave her the shadows and his magic, but that was not all, he didn’t just give his life, he gave her his soul, gave his soul to become her guardian, he would be forever tied to her just like Jonah is tied to me, he marked her with life and death, trapping himself in Hades realm to be at her beck and call when she needed him.
Marabella
We are partway through a conversation when Jonah gets this glazed-over look like his mind went somewhere other than here.
I watch him patiently, waiting for him to come back when suddenly all I see is blood coming from him. My heart plummets as it begins to spread all over the sofa.
“Jonah!” I scream, freaking out instantly as I move over and grip his shoulders. I shake him but I get no response. Physically he is here, but his wide-open, vacant eyes tell me he is also elsewhere.
“Jonah! What’s going on?” I shriek in a panic. What do I do?! I look around frantically, my heart thudding in my ears. I run toward the kitchen and grab some tea towels from the bottom drawer. Racing back to Jonah, his blood is running onto the tiled floor as it drips off the sofa. My foot skids in the blood and I drop to my knees next to him.
“Jonah, can you hear me?”
“Try to slow the bleeding. Why isn’t he healing?” Kora shrieks when pain radiates up my arms. Suddenly Kyan’s father’s voice whispers behind my ear, and I see red marks burn into my skin.
“Calm down Marabella. Jonah is fine. Kyan is channeling him to remain in this world. Kaif won’t let him die, Marabella,” he tries to comfort me, but it’s not enough.
My heart squeezes in panic as I watch Jonah bleed. My arms sting, yet it makes no sense. What he said makes no sense. I feel my mouth pooling with my venom.
“Shift if you want to heal him!” Kora panics. She tries to force the shift, yet my body remains; I don’t want to start licking him like some freak.
“You can’t. Kyan is blocking you from feeling him, blocking you completely,” the voice speaks again.
“Dominic, right?” I ask, just to ensure it is his father and not some demon that has leached onto me.
“Yes, about time you figured it out, princess.” I suck in a breath, and a tear slips down my cheek. I swallow the emotion back, knowing he died for me. He has always been with me, drowning in my hopelessness alongside me.