Suddenly the thought of going rogue is sounding more and more appealing, at least on my own it won’t be this headfuck shitstorm I have found myself in. Sighing, I hit the button when a security guard touches my arm, making me jump. My eyes widen, startled as I look to see a man.
“You alright, love?” he asks, and I turn to see it is the same guard from the other night. I relax and exhale a sigh of relief.
“Yes, I am fine,” I tell him softly, turning back to the stainless steel doors when I see a handkerchief thrust in my direction. Seriously, who still carries those with them? He points to my eyes and only then do I feel the tears that are escaping. I look down, feeling vulnerable and alone.
I wipe my eyes with my hands, suddenly embarrassed for letting someone see me like this.
“She is fine, move on,” Kyan says curtly, while coming up behind me. Once again, the space in here feels like it is way too small, suffocating me. I refuse to look at him, he doesn’t deserve me crying over him. None of them do. Fuck them!
“You need a key to get up there,” Kyan whispers. I already know that though. When the doors open he pushes me toward the back and steps in behind me.
“Where is Jonah?” I ask him when I notice he didn’t get in the elevator with us.
“He has gone to get you a few things.”
I roll my eyes. He wouldn’t have to if he took me home, or better yet let me go home. “I know you’re confused, just let me figure a few things out first,” he says quietly, a small frown on his face.
“Figure out what? How I die? Or exactly how you will kill me?” He remains expressionless at my outburst. “Because I’m certain Kaif won’t kill me,” I mutter under my breath. It hurts, I’m so tired of life, of the way Kyan is treating me. I turn my gaze to the ceiling trying to fight back tears.
“Why? Because you think you’re different? Sorry to tell you Marabella, but one thing I do know is history always repeats itself. You might think he won’t kill you, but he has killed every mate he has ever had! Every single god damn one and I can assure you, that you will be no different.” He rubs his temples as if telling me that gives him a damn headache and I feel like slapping him.
A flare of anger and irritation rushes through me at his words and I’m totally itching to smack the living shit out of this arrogant prick. I have no idea where my sudden anger is coming from but I am finding it better than the depression. I’m done with blaming myself and feeling like I am better off dead or how everyone around me doesn’t need me in their life.
“You can try, but you won’t get far,” Kyan chuckles arrogantly and turns to look at him.
“What?”
“Hit me,” he shrugs, looking at me challengingly.
“Huh?” I stare at him in confusion only for him to tap the side of his head.
“Your thoughts, I can hear them if I want to,” he shrugs. I raise an eyebrow at him before turning slightly toward him and folding my arms across my chest. I glare up at him defiantly but he simply smirks and laughs softly.
“Then don’t, you don’t want anything to do with me so why bother getting in my head?” I retort.
“Ah you are infuriating,” he mutters just as the doors open. He walks out, toward the door before unlocking it. He then bends down and retrieves the keys from the pot and chucks it to me. I catch them, frowning slightly.
“That will get you up and down in the elevator, and also unlock the door,” he adds, before stepping inside while he laughs to himself. Smug bastard.
“He thinks we are weak,” Kora mumbles. Her words do not surprise me, everyone thinks I am lacking something. It is no surprise my own mate does too. Yet I have an overwhelming urge to prove him wrong. I’m sure I could do some serious damage to him.
“I said you could,” Kyan says, walking toward the kitchen.
“Pardon?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Prove me wrong then,” Kyan answers. His invasion of privacy into my own mind is starting to irk me. “Your thoughts irk me,” Kyan counters as he flicks the kettle on.
“Can’t you block him out?” I ask Kora.
“Nope,” Kyan answers.
“Well can you block me out?” I ask.
“Yep, but I don’t want to,” Kyan says infuriatingly.
Marabella
“Just try to leave your mind blank,” Kora offers. That would be easier said than done. How am I supposed to walk around with a blank mind?
“He can’t hear me,” comes that strange voice again though it is really soft and I struggle to hear it – like a whisper in the wind. My heart races and Kyan looks at me sharply, his dark eyes watch me dangerously.
“He also can’t hear when you speak to me, not right now, not with me in your head,” the same voice adds.
“Yeah, in my head what is that supposed to mean? You are my head.” Does that mean he can’t hear my thoughts right now?
“Or maybe I am not,” A flash of images from earlier of the ghostly orb things that are in the shadows appear in front of me and a shudder runs up my spine.
“Are you one of those shadows?” I ask, growing a little worried.
“Kind of, but not exactly, I come from the magic you possess,” the voice explains.
“So you aren’t my subconscious?”
“No, and neither are they if you let them in,” it whispers.
“They?” I frown.
“The shadows, you just need to learn to control them,” the voice says. Yeah, sure, definitely easier said than done.
“Kora, can you hear the voice?” I ask, trying not to panic that there is another voice in my head other than that of my wolf.
“She can if I let her, but Kyan would know you are using the shadows,” the voice speaks up again. Somehow everything it says both make and doesn’t make any sense at all.
“But I’m not using them, I’m not doing anything,” I reply.
“You are, you wanted help, wanted to prove yourself, your mind – it called me forward, it usually does when you are in a heightened state,” it adds. Although the voice sounds soft, I feel like it is being a little pushy.
“So that is why I hear you when I am depressed?” The voice seems to hum. Kyan walks around the counter and is observing me, he tilts his head to the side. He steps closer, his intoxicating, masculine scent invades my nose.