I watch them for a few seconds but it isn’t going to get sorted quickly. I sigh, about to go back to the bar and get a drink, but stop in my tracks when I see Kyan and the woman from earlier with her hands all over him.
My stomach drops when I see his hand on her hip. He tugs her closer, and the woman giggles. I feel my heart squeeze deep inside. Then; he does something I don’t expect. He grabs her and kisses her passionately. Pain radiates through me, stealing my breath, and I take a step back as bile rises in my throat, and suddenly I feel like I can’t breathe.
I feel like I’m going to be sick, yet I can’t tear my eyes away from the woman as her hands roam over his chest, tugging him closer when Kyan grabs her ass, and she is practically straddling his lap.
Kora growls, but it turns into a whimpering sob, and I clutch at my chest. The pain at seeing him just kiss her like that in front of me stings. I’ve suffered a lot in life, felt a lot of pain and regret, but this… this is entirely different. Seeing him with her… My eyes sting with tears, and I suck in a sharp inhale.
I can’t catch my breath, but even then I’m unable to tear my eyes away from them. I need to move when I feel Kora lurch forward. No, I can’t lose control. The fear of what happened the other night returns to me with a vengeance and I turn, and take off, running for the doors leading out of the room.
“Kora, stop,” I beg her as tears burn my eyes as I try to find the elevator to go to Jonah’s apartment. People stare and my face heats with embarrassment that all these people and their judging eyes are staring at me. But I’m far too upset to even care right now, or stop them.
The image of Kyan kissing that woman keeps returning to my mind. The pain doesn’t stop either, meaning he’s still kissing her… I know I kissed Jonah, but Kyan doesn’t want me, he wants to reject me. So why doesn’t he just do it and step out of my life?
I must look pathetic running through the halls crying over someone that clearly doesn’t want me. Getting to the next floor, I finally find an elevator before noticing a security guard. I stop, tapping him on the shoulder, and he sniffs the air.
“You okay, love?” he asks, and I can barely speak when the pain suddenly stops. I take a deep shuddering breath, brushing strands of my hair off my tear-stained face.
“The penthouse apartment. I don’t have a key for the elevator,” I tell him, trying to steady my voice.
“That area is off-limits to patrons,” he replies curtly.
“My mate, um Jonah, mind-link Jonah, he will confirm I can go up there, tell him it’s Mara.” I rub my arms, suddenly feeling cold, freezing like some part of me just died, and I can’t get the image out of them out of my head. Jonah… I wish he could be next to me right now. Why did this hurt so much?
“Kyan said the spare key is in the pot plant by the door,” the security guard says after a moment and I blink at him.
“I said to speak to Jonah! Why did you mind-link Kyan?” I snap, my heart thumping.
“I couldn’t reach him; he shoved me out,” the security guard snaps back at me, irritation clear in his voice. I exhale and close my eyes for a moment.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean,” I say quietly, stopping myself from making an even bigger fool of myself.
“It’s fine. It’s just been a hectic night for us all,” the guard says and the elevator doors open. He places a key in the panel, and I thank him when he sets the elevator to the penthouse floor. The door closes with a ding and it goes up.
I lean against the wall and close my eyes for a moment. Kora continues to whimper in my head. Her pain becomes mine, and I hate how much pain it causes me hearing her cry out like that for our mate, yet also for Jonah, hoping he could take it away. Where are you, Jonah?
Hollow and empty, the void inside keeps growing larger as I step out of the elevator. Who am I if I’m not even good enough for my mate? I’m not even worth to be loved by the one person who should love me unconditionally. Why did I ever think he would want me? I am nothing, just a bad omen.
Rummaging through the leaves of the plant next to the door, my fingers scour the soil before finding the key. Fumbling with it, it takes me a few moments before I place it in the lock and twist. Pushing the door open, I step into the darkened apartment.
Turning, I go to close the door only for it to swing inward, barely missing me. I step back, my heart thunders when I see none other than the man of the hour, the one that caused my pain. Kyan stalks toward me. He is the last person I want to see right now.
“Fucking hurts, doesn’t it?” he snarls, and I take a step back away from him.
The energy rippling out of him makes the lights flicker on and off like an energy surge. He’s powerful, and I can feel it sizzling and swirling around the room. It is dark and intense, filling me with unease.
“Now you know how it fucking feels, every fucking time you touch him! It was bad enough behind my back, but in fucking front of me!” he screams. Kora snarls in my head at his words, her anguish twisting to anger.
“And you can’t handle it the one time I do something similar and start crying? Double standards, don’t you think!” I remain silent. How dare he… He is the one who doesn’t want me!
“Fucking say something!” he screams at me, making me flinch and the lights suddenly burst, plunging us back into darkness except for his fluorescent eyes that have turned gold, burning like embers of flame when he grabs me.