“You never answered me. How is she?” I ask, although that in itself is fucking hard to do.
“How do you think she is? Besides, why do you care all of a sudden? You don’t want her; you hate her, remember?”
“Jonah!” I spit through gritted teeth. “Do not fucking try me right now. Just answer the damn question!”
“Fine, since you want to know, she is in my car; she had an argument with her mother, so she is staying at my place tonight,” Jonah snaps back with an equal amount of venom in his voice.
“Your place in the city or at home?” I ask.
Jonah chuckles, as if he can’t believe I’m actually asking this. “The city, of course. I’m not driving home this late.” He says in a ‘duh’ tone.
I hum. “And Kat? What’s her current status?”
He laughs. “Wants your fucking head on a silver platter.” I hear more laughter from him as the answer reaches me. Of course, he is amused by that. After all, I hurt his precious little Marabella, so he would gladly watch me be ripped in shreds by her mother.
“You didn’t tell her anything?” I arch an eyebrow, a little confused.
“Of course not; I need to go. Marabella just got out of the car,” he mutters.
“Jonah?” I call after him before Jonah can hang up on me.
“What? Make it quick, she is nearly over to me,” Jonah whisper-yells at me.
Frowning, I swallow, “Look after her.”
“I always will, but you fucking owe me an explanation, and her,” he spits at me.
I shake my head as if he can see me. “You know I can’t give her one.”
“Bullshit, you either tell her, or I will,” Jonah snaps before hanging up the phone.
Kaif growls at the idea of Marabella staying the night with Jonah. He always hated how close they were, but he also had a deep respect for Jonah, to which Kaif has come to accept him as our brother.
“I still don’t like it,” Kaif growls at me.
“Get over it!” I snap back at him.
“What if he sleeps with her?”
“Shut it. Jonah wouldn’t. Not now that he knows what she is to us; Marabella won’t be able to either, now that she knows who we are anyway, so remain calm,” I reason, Kaif growls but adds nothing else, leaving me to my thoughts. The day has taken an unexpected turn, one that I wasn’t expecting.
Jonah
Driving back into the center of the city, Marabella remains silent and stares out the window absently. I am still trying to wrap my head around the idea of Kyan being her mate and knowing about it all this time.
He always knew how I felt about her, and not once did he ever think to tell me? The fact that she is his mate? If I knew, maybe I could have stepped away, or tried to. But years passed and what I feel for her just grew stronger. I wish I could be angry over it, but it somehow now makes so much sense. His actions over the years have me re-analyzing everything.
If I wouldn’t be this shocked, I would hate to think how Marabella felt once she realized what was happening. And just like that, her words come back to me. “Why couldn’t it have been you?”
Those words sting more than anything now, because it also means I can never have her. No matter how much I love her or want her, she isn’t mine. But those words… Did that mean she has feelings for me too, that she wants me? I know she is out of my league, and I know I’m not good enough for her. However, her words give me a little hope that maybe I am enough. But then, what about Kyan?
What do I do about these feelings now?
Suddenly I have found myself stuck in the middle. Kyan is my best friend, and I can’t steal her from him, despite the fact that he says he doesn’t want her. I know better than to get between someone and their Moon Goddess-given mate. Marabella believes Kyan hates her, but I know the truth. So, what do I do now? Do I just stop talking to her, push her away?
But how could I? How? I am supposed to be her friend, I always have been, and would I have the heart to push her away now that she needs me the most?
Kyan has always been standoffish; that is just who he is. He refuses to get attached to anyone besides me. Even his Uncle isn’t all that close with him anymore. Kyan thinks that if he doesn’t allow anyone to get close to him, he can’t be hurt when they leave. Had I not grown up with him and if I was an outsider looking at the situation, I would see it from her point of view, and feel only anger towards him.
But I am more than aware of the things he has done for her that she remains unaware of. I feel so stuck right now, caught between two people that I love the most.
Then, there is Kaif, Kyan’s Lycan. Kaif is a monster, and I don’t know if Marabella can handle him; I barely can. Kaif is familiar with me, tolerant of me, but even I know never to turn my back on him. Kaif doesn’t have a humane thought. Well, not one I have ever seen. Sure, he has some restraint simply because Kyan and he are fused, becoming one every time he turns. Kyan isn’t a shifter like me.
He doesn’t shift; he turns. He transforms into something that is beyond understanding, a Lycan with powers right out of history books, myths and legends even to our kind. Kyan is unthinkable and unbelievable, yet Kyan is living proof that hell existed because he brought hell down on earth every time he and Kaif were set loose.
The suffering I have witnessed by his hands is disturbing. Kaif getting out is one thing, but when he gets out, and Kyan’s emotions are amplified, they become a monster of nightmares.
I would be lying if I said Kaif hasn’t caused me a few nights of grief at seeing what he is capable of, what Kyan is capable of. Memories that come back to haunt me in my nightmares, nightmares that they star in.