Andrei showed me what it feels like to be loved again and taught me to love myself, he never looked at me with disgust, he never looked at me like I am less. No, he looks at me like I am his world even though the scars of my past mar my body. He loves me despite my flaws, and without judgment, without blame, he loves me and sets me free of myself.
“I feel free, I feel like I am home,” I breathe.
“You’ll always have a home with Jonah and me, Sage, and our pack. You have all of us, and we will always have you. This is home, your home,” Andrei whispers, pressing his lips to my head.
He purrs happily, and I enjoy his familiar embrace letting go of everything. Everything that is in my past no longer holds me in its confines or traps me there.
Now, I am free to live and let it go, and for the first time, my future doesn’t scare me. I no longer fear the monsters of my past, but instead, I conquer them; they have no place in my future, they no longer have control, and I will never give it to them again. They don’t deserve it, and I owe it to myself to ensure they never have it.
For the first time, I am excited about my life and the life I share with Andrei and Jonah, our little boy. He is ours, and we are his. They’re all that matter and all I need. I slowly start drifting off into a peaceful sleep without the burden of trying to sleep with one eye open while keeping my senses alert. Constantly on edge with the what-ifs. Now I can sleep knowing that Andrei would keep me safe, no matter what happens.
Movement jostles me, and Andrei’s soft-spoken words as he rolls over wake me.
“What’s wrong, Jonah? Are you okay?” Andrei whispers.
I sit up, and rub my eyes to find Jonah standing beside him at the edge of the bed, and I know I must not have slept long because it is still dark outside. Jonah holds his pillow in his arms, looking longingly at the bed.
“I’m scared. Can I sleep with you?” Jonah whispers. His little eyes are filled with sleep and fear, and I want to hug away whatever scared him.
Andrei picks him up, lifting him onto the bed. “I have just the place for you,” Andrei tells him, tucking him between us.
“Right where you belong, with us,” Andrei tells him, tucking the blanket around him. I fix his pillow between mine and Andrei’s, and Jonah nestles against me, letting out a breath as Andrei hugs us both tightly.
“I love you, my little Jonah,” I tell him, kissing his little cheek.
He presses his face under my neck and yawns tiredly. “I love you too, mommy,” he whispers, patting my face with his little hand.
My heart burst into a million pieces at his sleepy words. Andrei moves his arm, moving it under his little head and mine. I watch him kiss Jonah’s head before relaxing and getting comfortable, his fingers playing with my hair.
“You are our new world, Jonah. You are ours, and we are yours forever and always,” Andrei whispers to him before closing his eyes.
Andrei
I wake to the sound of people whispering and banging around. Sitting up in bed, I notice someone has closed our bedroom door. Looking down at Jonah and Sage, they are both sleeping peacefully, and I carefully climb out of bed to not wake them as I leave to find out who is in the packhouse and who has closed our door.
I know it must be pack members or my father because I would have woken to the feeling of trespassers on my territory.
Pulling a tank top on, I open the door carefully, closing it behind me to find Zane, Malik, Casen, Vince, and my father in the surveillance room. Rubbing a hand down my face, I walk over to the room to see my father stand up with a box in his hands. The room is bare, and all equipment is being removed.
He nearly jumps out of his skin, touching Zane’s shoulder, not realizing I am behind him. His arms flail about as I startle him. Casen laughs, mimicking his flailing hands and the noise that leaves him poking fun and laughing at Zane.
I chuckle as Zane turns around. “Fuck, make some noise next time. I nearly shit my pants. Why are you creeping around?” He asks.
“Well, it’s my house, so I could ask you the same thing,” I tell him, stepping into the empty room. “What are you all doing here, and why are you doing it?” I ask.
My father walks out with the box of equipment and walks downstairs. “Well, now Jonah is home, he needs his own room,” Malik states, and I nod while yawning.
“Yeah, I wanted to move all this to the office downstairs,” I tell him.
“Already done,” Casen says, grinning.
“Vince is about to go down and set it up again for you,” Malik says, nudging Vince. He nods and ducks out of the room. I look around the room down the end of the hall from ours and at the landing on this floor.
“What time is it?” I ask as my father walks back into the room.
“A little after 2 pm,” he answers, and I nod. Damn, I slept the entire day away.
“Now that you are up, you can help carry everything in,” my father says, gripping my shoulder.
“Carry what in?” I ask him.
“Your father went shopping this morning, and woke me up at 7 am to head into the City,” Casen says, clearly not appreciating the early wake-up.
“Sage and Jonah?” Malik asks.
“Still sleeping,” I tell him, looking back at my bedroom door.
“Well, come on, we can bring everything up now,” my father says, and I follow him out of the room and down the stairs.
Walking out of the packhouse, I find my father’s old wagon with a trailer on the back loaded with boxes of all different sizes. The back of his wagon is full to the brim, he wouldn’t have even been able to see out the rear-view mirror.
I look over my shoulder at my father, who shrugs. “I may have been a little excited about his return, and I couldn’t sleep,” he tells me.
“You brought all this for Jonah?” I ask, a little shocked.
I already knew we would have to sort him a room out, but we would have gone, and he didn’t have to spend his money to do it.
“Yes, he is my grandson. Come on,” he walks over to the trailer and undoes the straps. We unpack the trailer, and a few pack members come over to help unload the mountain load of toys and linens from the wagon’s trunk.