Zane stands up, reaches down, and grabs Lior’s foot. Now that he has a name, I feel even worse. But I suppose how I feel doesn’t matter. The damage is done, and I can’t turn the time back to stop myself from killing him.
“Let us handle the rogue situation, step aside. Malik, Casen, Vince, and I can handle it. Just spend time with Sage and sort your head out, brother, before you lose everything.” Zane offers. He has an odd, pleading look on his face.
“I can’t stand aside and let everyone else handle everything,” I argue, and he lets out a breath.
“Isn’t your father coming tomorrow?”
I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head. “No, probably not for a few days. Why?”
“Your father used to be a Beta, let him help, maybe let him take over for a while.”
I laugh at Zane’s words. Does he seriously expect me to let my father take over my pack? How stupid and naive can he be?
Well, probably a lot. Zane stares at me laughing and shakes his head. “I’m not joking, Andrei. Your father helped run Jackson’s pack for years. He knows what he is doing, and quite frankly, I could use some pointers myself. Let him take over, you sort things with Sage, and get your head back in the game. We are a pack, a family, let us help.”
“He is not part of our pack,” I correct him.
“No, you’re right, but he is your father, and he wants to help. He fucked up, I get it, but let him try and make it up to you. I am not saying you need to call him dad and hug, and shit, but let him take over and help us for a bit.”
“And if the rogues do attack us?” I prod, just to find out more about this brilliant plan Zane’s mind has developed out of the fucking blue.
“It will be their funeral. But this other rogue camp sounded like they needed help. Lior said children and families are amongst them.” Zane glances at the body on the ground, and my eyes instinctively follow his gaze. I cringe as I recall the look on the dead man’s face.
“Are you suggesting we just let them in?” I ask, shaking my head.
“No, but I don’t know. No more killing rogues unless they attack us, that’s what I am saying. Don’t you remember what it was like being rogue? I do, and it sucked. Your mate,” he says, pointing to my bedroom window. “Is still rogue until you mark her. She is a fucking rogue. What did you expect she would do when she found out you were killing them? Pat you on the back? Seriously, Andrei, if you can’t keep our own Luna from wanting to leave, what the hell chance do the rest of us have in getting our mates back here to stay?”
Zane sounds irritated, and I get why, but I’m not liking how close he is to growling at me. That is, until Donnie nudges me and forces me to focus on the most important part Zane mentioned. ‘Our own Luna wants to leave…’
The words play out in my mind, over and over again, as I stare at Zane in pure shock. “You think she wants to leave?” I am terrified to even think of losing her. Donnie joins my worries and fears as he whines loudly in my head.
“I don’t know, but I am sure being locked in there is making her question everything. You keep saying you want to help her, and give her freedom, yet you have her locked inside. You are a good Alpha, but the last few months, you have been a fucking dick,” he points out.
I laugh, laying back on the grass.
“So what is it Alpha? Slaughtering rogues or taking care of your family? A pack is a family. She is family, so what will it be?” Zane presses me for answers.
My mind wanders again. I don’t think I’m ready to answer just yet, even though I know that Sage and the pack mean more to me than anything else. Besides, the thought of asking Zane and his dream team to take over sickens me so much that I seriously consider letting Derrick run my pack.
“Andrei?” Zane calls my name as he kicks my leg.
A shadow falls on the grass again, and I can’t help but look at the bedroom window. My eyes follow her petite frame as Sage climbs into our bed.
“I will think about it, tell Casen to train with Sage. I need to go,” I order him, get back on my feet and turn on my heel.
“Where are you going to go?” Zane calls after me.
“To think,” I reply and wave him off.
I take a few steps away from him and allow Donnie to take over. I give him the reins until he is ready to hand them back.
My father used to go deep into the mountains when things got too tough. He did it to clear his mind and return as a better man. He sometimes took me with him.
I haven’t gone back to our old camping spot since before mom got sick, but I feel compelled to go now. I need to try for what he had built – for Sage and my pack. This place is a constant reminder, and right now, I just need to forget.
Sage
Andrei has been gone for three days already. I haven’t seen him since that awful night, and I am worried, I can’t help it.
After the second day of his absence, my anger diffused and I wanted to understand, tried to understand. A part of me thinks I will get some answers once Andrei comes back, but I am not sure if he ever will.
So far, I have pretty much fallen into a routine just to keep my mind off everything. Every morning, Zane lets me out of the house with Casen, who has been training me with Zane.
I like Casen, he is easy to get along with, and Zane is more relaxed around him, not as on edge. In fact, Andrei’s absence makes the entire pack more laid back. It’s a dead giveaway how much his behavior has been affecting his pack, too.
As I slip on my running shoes, I glance at the alarm clock to see Casen and Zane should be here soon. I rummage through the bathroom drawer, find a hair tie I can use, and quickly tie my hair up in a ponytail.
I rush to the main entrance and wait by the door. This is my favorite part of the day. I get to spend at least a couple of hours outside before someone decides it’s enough and escorts me back inside.
I have asked Zane when Andrei will be back because being locked up is driving me nuts, but I haven’t gotten any clear answer just yet. I think even Zane doesn’t know when his Alpha plans to come back home.
Besides, I’m pretty sure Zane isn’t too keen to face the day when Andrei might find out that he went against his Alpha’s orders.
Zane let me out the other night while everyone was drinking and playing cricket out the front of the Alpha’s house.