Paranoia eats at me. It has to be a parental instinct because, out of nowhere, thoughts and possible scenarios run through my mind. I trust my mate, I know he is an amazing father, and yet, I still picture the possibility of his arms going limp and releasing the hold of one of the babies. I can almost hear the screams as one of the twins ends up on the floor.
I know he would never forgive himself if anything like that were to happen, even if the possibility was as thin as a strand of hair. Quickly I walk back to him and around the couch.
They are both rolled up tightly in their blankets, looking like baby burritos. I carefully take Marabella first and then slip my hand under Eziah’s butt to the back of his head and pick him up.
Mateo is still dead to the world, and I chuckle at the sight of him. Surely, he can’t be comfortable sleeping like that, but I can’t bring myself to wake him up. I know he isn’t getting much sleep, and definitely not even close enough to feel rested.
I am faring a little better than the both of them, since I sleep in the spare room some nights so I can help with training and border patrol. But still, all that extra work is slowly catching up with me, I get tired even without being the one who constantly takes care of the babies.
I quietly walk upstairs to the bedroom and into the nursery. I place Eziah in his crib and very slowly turn around to put Marabella in hers when she stirs.
Shit! Holy mother of God, what do I do now? My hands flail slightly as I try to rock her little burrito wrap body, gritting my teeth. Please don’t scream.
If I don’t find a way to suppress my paranoia, it will wake the entire damn household up.
“Put her in with Eziah,” Maddox suggests, and I turn to look at his crib for a second.
Kat is going to kill me. She is paranoid about SIDS, constantly checking if the twins are breathing and tucked in their blankets tight enough. Even the position they lay in has her up and checking them.
The word is even banned from the house. Kat keeps repeating that just mentioning SIDS is a bad omen. But the thing is that Maddox has been saying that we need to put them together since they were born, yet we never tried it because we didn’t want to upset Kat.
I place Marabella next to him, grab the baby blanket and carefully tuck it into the sides of the mattress to hold them in place. Marabella squirms a bit, and I hold my breath as I watch her, waiting for her ear-piercing scream. But then, she turns her face toward Eziah and there is no scream that could break my eardrums. Both of them breathe in each other’s faces for a bit, until she huffs and falls asleep again.
I tip-toe out of the nursery and make sure to avoid the one creaky floorboard in this room. Just like every other time for all of us, this is no different, leaving the nursery is a mission.
Since they were born, I have learned how noisy the house can be, and it becomes worse with each passing day. I’ve learned every floorboard that so much as squeaks when stepped on, and which door handles jiggle a little too loudly. I have grown familiar with every noise this house makes and has us cringing as we step out of the nursery each time. Life in this house reminds me of an endless game of the floor is lava, avoiding any noise that might wake the twins.
Even thinking about using the bathroom that is up here is a huge mistake, let alone actually going along with the darn idea. That is, if I don’t want Kat to skin me alive.
Mateo and I forgot some important details when we worked on the nursery. Bathroom being the most important of all.
The pipes always groan so loudly that even I cringe while I stand under the stream of water. So, if my mates aren’t awake, or the babies, I never use this bathroom.
On my way out of the nursery, I grab the baby monitor just to ensure I still have an eye on them. As I step into the bedroom, I find Kat lying face down, spread eagle on the bed, naked except for her bra.
I shake my head when I see my pillow propped under her. I can guarantee that things will be covered, no it will be soaked in breast milk.
“We need to tarp the bed. Those boobs are like fountains now. Seriously, man, those things will leak like old pipes every step she takes.” Maddox comments, and I stifle my laugh.
I head back down the stairs, slip into the bathroom, and turn on the shower. I place the baby monitor on the sink basin so I can keep an eye on it even while I’m taking a shower.
The monitor has a little camera, so I can see them sleeping in Eziah’s crib. I strip, toss my clothes on the bathroom floor, and hop under the hot spray of water. Since I don’t have much time to waste, I wet my face, grab the soap, and start washing.
I am incredibly fast, but halfway through my shower, I feel Mateo stir awake. The bond we share comes alive with a sudden buzz of his energy. Then, his panic courses through me.
Within seconds, I jump out of the shower and quickly wrap a towel around my hips before I rush out of the bathroom. What is wrong with him that happened in the short time since I arrived back home?
I run down the hall and turn into the living room just as he bursts out of it, colliding with me and knocking me to the floor flat on my back. His panic-stricken face looks at me, confused.
“What is it?” I ask with a groan, still lying on the floor, half-naked, balls shriveling as they brush the cold tiles, making me buck to cover them.
Mateo’s eyes widen, and I’m sure tears well up in them. “The babies-”
Just as those words leave his lips, I quickly cut him off. “In their crib, calm down. They are fine,” I insist, gripping his face in my hands. That’s enough to calm him, and Mateo lets out a breath.
“I thought…” He shakes his head, trying to regather himself.
“You thought what? That they suddenly learned to walk while you slept, climbed out of your arms without you feeling it, and walked out the front door to head to the nearest play date?” I ask him with a snort.
He frowns and swats my chest with his hand. “No! I don’t know, I freaked out when they weren’t in my arms,” he explains, rubbing a hand down his face.
“I didn’t want to wake you,” I whisper slowly while sitting up. Mateo does the same, yet he remains on top of me.
He lifts himself off me, and for that brief moment, I need to hide my disapproval of the sudden loss of contact. My mind might be in the gutter, but I very much enjoy the closeness.