Sage
We walk upstairs in silence, and I’m content to lean against his chest. The fear that used to haunt my every moment is gone, and I don’t know if it will come back when this shock wears off, but I’m enjoying this moment of peace.
Andrei flicks on the light and, still carrying me, turns on the shower. Our hearts are beating in sync. It’s almost magical, and the calm it brings me is welcome. I relax completely against his body.
He tenses against me, his eyes widening like he’s shocked at my reaction, before he checks the water temperature and places me down on the sink basin. I wrap myself tighter around him, unwilling to let go.
His hands run up my sides, ghosting over my ribs. “Sage,” he whispers my name. “I turned the shower on for you. I’ll leave so that you can use it.”
I shake my head and put my hand against his chest, running my fingers through his hair. He shudders against my touch, and I stare up at him. He’s holding back, and for my sake.
“You need to get undressed and shower,” he whispers against my temple, his lips brushing against my forehead. His hand slowly comes down and caresses the hem of the shirt.
“Sage?” he repeats my name as if gauging my reaction.
I stare up into his eyes and slowly lift my arms, letting him peel the shirt off me. I’m not sure what this is, but I’m willing to take a risk and find out.
His hands are oddly gentle as Andrei removes my shirt. He pulls me to him, carefully moves my hair aside, and brings his hands behind my back to unclip my bra. I don’t pull away from him, I sit still and let the numbness lap over me.
Andrei doesn’t turn into a monster the moment my skin is revealed, quite the opposite. He’s slow and cautious, almost as if he’s trying to avoid overstepping my boundaries.
I hold my breath as he slides the straps of my bra down my arms and tosses the garment on the floor. His hands slowly run up my arms a few times until he sets them on my shoulders, making me shiver.
My nipples harden from the cold air, or maybe it is the shock of my own willingness to give in that makes me shiver. Andrei’s hands are warm, but never linger on my skin for too long.
It’s as if he is scared to touch me. Despite him waiting for this moment since the day he saved me from those beasts. He has brought up the importance of marking and finishing the mating process. Andrei has mentioned plenty of times that we would be intimate sooner or later, yet he acts as if his desires don’t exist.
“Sage?”
I look at him, and he stares back at me, as I try to decipher the look he is giving me.
“He wants permission?” Sierra guesses, making my brows furrow.
“Permission for what?” I ask, growing a little anxious. Would he really try to mate me?
“No, he is asking for permission to shower with you. He isn’t sure whether you want him to stay or not,” Sierra answers my unspoken questions.
Donnie is talking to her. Sierra has grown quite attached to his wolf, and Andrei never stops his wolf from talking to her.
It did bug me in the beginning. Sierra trusted him too fast, eating up all his words as if they were sugar. But as they grow closer these days, I accept that it’s on them. I can’t control the relationship Sierra has with her second-chance mate.
“Can I take these off?” Andrei’s question snaps me out of my thoughts and pulls me back to reality.
At first, I furrow my brows, confused about the question, but then, I notice his hands are already on my hips. I didn’t feel him moving them. All of a sudden, I feel unreasonably awkward.
“Will you take yours off?” I ask him.
This could be a bad idea, terrible even, but I don’t want to be the only one who ends up naked, completely exposed to his eyes. I have always been body conscious. How could I not if most of my body is covered in scars?
They went out of their way to make sure no man would ever want me or compliment my body. I would be their perfect little fuck doll like Jason was always quick to remind me. They introduced me to the ‘amazing things’ wolfsbane could do to a wolf’s body, even before they had the opportunity to shift.
Before I understood what it could do, I even thought it was pretty. A purple flowering plant that looked harmless and even beautiful in the right light. Until they strapped it down to my thighs and laughed their asses off as my skin burned beneath it. I didn’t have Sierra at that time, and there was no way to heal any of it.
Wolfsbane is so much more than a weakness. It’s agony in plant form, like touching acid, and if it is in liquid form, it has the ability to melt flesh. When I told them no, I wouldn’t give myself to them; they used it to punish me.
The rogues loved to use it on me any chance they got. They would be quick to run it across my body anytime I refused to submit. It was used to break the toughest of warriors, if used correctly. And it could make anyone surrender their soul. Nothing left a bite like wolfsbane.
They’d even taken it and thrust it inside me, laughing as I screamed in pure agony as they damaged my insides and my womanhood. I would have preferred the sweet embrace of fire, the flames would have taken me faster, but with their torture, it was a slow drawn out affair to make me hurt and break me as much as they could.
“Not if you don’t want me to. I can leave mine on,” Andrei whispers, but I shake my head.
He would never hurt me, I truly believe that now. He’s had more than enough opportunities, especially while I was asleep and at his mercy. Not once has he touched me inappropriately or tried to do anything to me.