My finger twitched around the handle again. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. The night I lost my mother flickered through my mind. She’d fought like hell to save my innocence, and he’d killed her for it.
A rock of all things is what he used to end her life. He beat her in the head repeatedly until blood dribbled from her eyes and lips, and then he threw me down beside her dying body, and took what he wanted anyway, her sacrifice meant nothing.
She died watching him get his rocks off, destroying me. Her lips parted, and the color slowly faded from her, the life drained completely. Once he was finished with me, he went back to his favorite for one last round, he didn’t care her limp body was stiffening with death, as long as he got what he wanted.
“Oi, fuck toy, undo the collar now!” Jason snarls, snapping me back to the present, his hands jerking against the chains, making them rattle as he tries to free himself.
My eyes jerk to his and then to the knife in my hands. My fingers aren’t trembling anymore. My lips press together, and I raised the knife. He screams at me to stop, but hadn’t my mother done the same to him? I plunge the knife into the center of his chest, driving it down with all of my strength and feeling it hit home as it slides between bones.
He sputters, blood flowing from his lips. I stare down at the knife sticking out. There’s no pity in me, no regret, not any emotions that I should feel for trying to kill someone.
Jason isn’t a someone to me, he was a monster given flesh. I pulled the knife straight out of him before plunging it in again, scraping against bone this time and almost falling on top of him. His screams fill my ears, but it’s not enough. I yank the blade out and stare at the blood dripping from the tip. Blood gushes from the wound I’d given him, he chokes on it, his scream cut off as blood bubbles.
Not enough. There’s still color in his cheeks. I plunge the knife in again, over and over, losing myself to the motion. Blood flies in every direction, his screams and gurgles fade away as only the heat of the rage spiraling inside me comes out.
They had taken my chance at a normal life from me. Because of them and everything they did, nightmares haunt me through my waking days as easily as they do my nights. When I close my eyes I see this creature killing my mother, laughing at her death, getting off on it as he grunts in bliss like a pig, and now he’s bleeding like one.
I continue to plunge the knife in with all the strength I have until I’m breathless from the effort and Sierra’s screams break through to me, but even then, I don’t stop until I make his skin go pale and the life leaves him.
Pablo’s endless screams ring through the air. All he can do is stare at the massacred remains of his friend.
Sierra’s voice rings in my head. “Sage, he is dead, stop!” she pleads as I get ready to take a breath and continue plunging the knife into him. His head lulls to the side, his eyes glassy as blood drips off of him and onto the floor. Drip…drip…drip… every drop is like a song of freedom to me.
Jason deserved a thousand deaths, each more painful and agonizing than the last.
Slowly, I unwrap my shaking hands from the handle of the blade and stare down at the bloody mess I’d made. I’d just killed someone, a person, and the reality of the situation hits me like a brick wall. I suffocate beneath its weight.
And yet, I would do it all over again. It is wrong, but it was necessary. An animal like that only deserved a painful demise.
But maybe I shouldn’t have been the one to do it. Bile surges up my throat and I race to the sink, leaning over it and using it to keep myself steady while I vomit until I’m left a trembling mess.
When I’m done, I wipe my mouth with the sleeve of Andrei’s shirt and slowly turn around to take in the horror scene I created. Pablo screams and yanks on his chains as I stare at Jason’s mutilated corpse on the table.
My legs give out from under me, and the cold concrete of the floor seeps into my bones as I lean heavily against the wall. Sierra is talking to me, but can’t understand a word she says.
I can’t take my eyes off the table and the sound of his blood dripping onto the ground. To be honest, I expect him to bleed black, considering he was a monster. But his blood is as red as mine, and I can’t tear my eyes away as I watch it fall.
Andrei suddenly crouches in front of me, his lips move, but I can’t hear anything.
How long have I been sitting on the ground? My surroundings slowly come back, and I can hear Pablo, still screaming on the table, calling me every name under the sun for killing his friend.
Andrei grabs my face and forces me to look into his eyes. “I killed him,” I state. I don’t recognize my voice, it’s oddly cold, and sounds like someone else is speaking through me.
Andrei looks over his shoulder at the table. His intense gaze returns back to me, and he cocks his head to the side, watching me carefully. “You did,” he whispers as his thumbs stroke the skin underneath my eyes, which is wet with tears.
I focus on the sparks rushing over my skin, instead of the cold feeling inside me. Sighing, I lean into his touch, and he rests his forehead against mine as his hands still stroke my face. The feeling is oddly calming, and I suddenly need his touch to ground me.