Mateo glances at me, and I know he is asking for permission, not that he needs it, their scent combined oddly smells right. Like this was how it was supposed to be from the start. Maybe Maddox and I were too consumed to realize. Another thought has been popping up for the last few days. I don’t think I am ready to admit it yet, but there’s a weird pull toward him. I’m straight, and yet… I’m not hating it, no matter how alien it is to me.
“You don’t have to ask,” I mindlink him, feeling Kat’s rejection when he doesn’t move closer to her.
“I just don’t want to cross boundaries with Maddox,” Mateo replies.
“You’re not, I have told you this.”
“Yeah, but I know Maddox is fine one second, then wanting to chew my ass the next.”
“She wants you to.”
“But do you?” I think for a second.
Maddox forces his way through the link. “You are ours now,” he growls.
Mateo’s head snaps in our direction. “You’re bi?” He asks, of all the things he gets from Maddox, that’s what he asks?
“No, I’m pretty sure I’m still straight. Why would you ask that? His words do not faze you?”
“No, I have known since my mate died. My pull was to you first, even though I loved Kat. But I have always loved you. You know that, I’m just checking to ensure you haven’t switched sides,” he mindlinks back.
“Okay, now you’re both being rude with your secret conversations, either share the gossip or stop mindlinking, it is creepy watching Mateo’s eyes glaze over while watching a ghost show, he looks possessed,” Kat complains, and I press my lips to her shoulder reassuring her.
Mateo scoots over closer to her, and she drapes her arm across his waist, putting her head on his chest and going back to watching the show.
Katya
My father never came back.
Day after day I waited, expecting him to show up at any moment and apologize for leaving, but it didn’t happen. Ezra hit his limit for waiting, and I had to deal with my mother’s body. I opted for a private viewing and to have her cremated. What was the point of a funeral? This had not been her home. She only had dad and me, and now I was all she had left.
All of mom’s friends were back in Jackson’s pack, her reputation was built there, and for her entire life, it was home. I couldn’t bear the thought of having people show up who didn’t know her and only had a perception of what she did. To be honest, no one truly knew her, yet she was my mother and the woman that raised me, that was the real Shirley, but here all they saw were her mistakes, not who she was.
One of the things I hate about werewolf communities is that they are tight-knit communities, and gossip travels fast. There are no secrets, and besides Angie and Jasmine, I never saw her interact with anyone unless it was with her fists in training. My father was the outgoing, talkative one, while mom was more stern, less approachable, and shut off to others except for dad and me.
Getting up after listening to the lady drone on about life after death, yadda, yadda, I walk out. That woman in the coffin is not my mother, it was some hollow version of her, and I couldn’t handle seeing her like that. Ezra follows me out. Mateo stays behind to talk to the woman, they said her ashes would be ready in a few days.
My mother would soon be reduced to ash and nothing more. I can’t wrap my head around it, and for the last two days. I noticed I hadn’t heard or spoken to Kora either, like she just left me as my father had. Never in my life have I ever felt so alone. I have no one left, no family to fall back on, and that is the loneliest feeling. Yes, I have Ezra, but he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t my mate. And realizing that without the mate bond, I would truly be alone, frightened the hell out of me.
“Kat?” Ezra asks, coming outside where I am leaning on his car.
“Let’s just deal with Angie, I want to go home,” I tell him before reaching into his pocket and digging out his keys.
“The ceremony barely started, Kat, come back inside.”
“So I can look at her rotting away in a wooden box? This was never her home, Ezra. She has no one here. Besides you and Mateo, I have no one here either. I want to go home,” I confess, unlocking his car and hopping in.
Ezra walks off and back inside before coming out with Mateo.
“So, what do you want to do about Angie?” Ezra asks, starting the car before reversing out of the parking space. We already knew she took the first lot of photos. But that is as far as her involvement went. Yet it still makes me question if everything was a lie, I can’t trust her, but I also can’t bring myself to kill her or banish her over a photo.
“Send her home,” I tell him, looking out the window at all the houses passing by.
“So, you want her to stay?” Ezra asks. I can feel his shock and Maddox growling through the link as he forces forward.
“Send her home to her family,” I suggested again. But honestly, I can’t care less anymore. I am over it. If Jackson gets a hold of me and kills me tomorrow, at least I will be free of the misery and the constant anxiety of looking over my shoulder. Whatever happens, happens. “Actually, can you drop me home first? I don’t want to see her,” I request, and he nods.
“Fine, but Mateo will stay with you. I won’t have you by yourself.” His eyes glance in the mirror at Mateo. I sigh, not expecting anything less. Getting home, Ezra said he would be back in ten minutes. I go into the office, needing a distraction and hoping to do some online studying for school. Walking in, I find my laptop bag on the desk. Next to it are Mathias’s journals. Forgetting the school work, I pick those up instead.