It’s a couple of hours later, and Jackson has shifted us, so I’m lying on his chest as he strokes a hand up and down my back.
A thought occurs to me, and I jerk up so I can stare down into his face. “Jackson, we can never tell anyone, especially Talis, about this.”
Slowly, he opens his eyes and blinks up at me. “That we mated?”
I glare down at him. “That we humped on the forest floor.”
Although his lips curve in a smile, he doesn’t comment on my observation. Instead, he slides his hand into my hair and tugs me down again. “We won’t have to. I’m sure they’ll figure it out themselves.”
A long moment passes in silence before I again break it. “Jackson?”
“Darlin’?” he murmurs, sounding half asleep.
“What was it like not having a pack?”
When he stops stroking his hand along my back, I regret my question. Although I’m not feeling pain from him, just because I’m not, doesn’t mean he wants to talk about it.
But then he speaks. “Lonely. Even though I was lucky to have Jeremy, it’s still lonely. It’s not the shifter way. When all you’ve ever known is a life on the road, it’s not easy to settle anywhere, or have someone cook you ragu and garlic toast and warm up your plate for you.” He kisses my hair and resumes stroking my back.
“But you’re not like the others. I mean, I can understand why living like that would make Derek and Leon the way they were, but you and Jeremy aren’t like that.”
Jackson sighs. “We had a pack once, but it was never the laughing over breakfast pack I see with the Blackshaws. There wasn’t that closeness. It was full of competition, which I think can be a problem when you have too many dominant wolves and not enough submissives for them to care about. Adding two more alphas with attitude problems to the mix was too much.”
I go still as I listen, horrified and hurting for Jackson and Jeremy. “What happened?”
“They forced us out.”
“But your parents?”
“Were just as bad as the others. So, we left, and that became the pattern of our lives for a long time. We’d find someplace that would start to feel like home, and then-”
“They forced you out?”
He nods. “It was part of the reason we could never work on any more than one or two properties in a city before we had to leave. Once the packs knew we were only staying temporarily, they were a little less aggressive. The Chicago pack was one of the most indifferent ones because we stayed away from them. It was why we settled there once we’d made enough money that we didn’t need to push so hard to work every damn day.”
I can understand why no pack would accept two dominant alphas like Jackson and Jeremy. Even Dayne treated them as threats until he realized they weren’t. “I’m sorry, Jackson.”
“And then I stumbled into Lara. My fated mate. Of course, the one place the alpha would’ve been happy for us to stay, my fated mate wasn’t.”
“Jackson, you don’t need to talk about this. I mean, I’d understand if you-”
Jackson rolls us until I’m lying beneath him and then peers into my eyes. “Yes, it hurts,” he admits quietly. “But even without saying a word or doing a thing, you ease that hurt. But you need to know that she was not the mate of my heart, regardless of what the universe decided. You are.”
My eyes fill with tears. “You’re just saying that because of the shaved cheese.”
“No.” He kisses me. “I’m saying that because I love you, and I think you love me. Why else would you run? Which, by the way,” he frowns severely, “you should know what happens when you run from wolves.”
I curve my arms and legs around him. “Well, I wasn’t exactly rational at the time. You shouldn’t have to guess, Jackson, that I do love you. And I think I was wrong about you. I don’t think you’re an alpha dick at all.”
He stares at me. “You thought I was a what?”
Oh crap.
“Nothing. It’s kind of ironic though that I run from you when I shouldn’t and then I don’t run from Leon who chases me down a hill and breaks my ankle.”
Jackson’s eyes darken. “What?”
I remember that I never told him about the mangy wolf. “Uh, why did Riley tell Derek about the pack being at the rental? And how come you said he was a Stone now? And-”
When he narrows his eyes, I suspect that I haven’t gotten away with not telling him about Leon. Sooner rather than later, he’ll get the full story out of me, and then I’m going to be in trouble. Again.
“He was right that I was shouting at Lara about being responsible for you running into the forest. Riley ran, but he came back to the rental when he realized what’d happened to you. Although he was afraid, he was determined to help you, so we came up with a plan.”
“So, he’s a Stone now?”
Jackson nods.
“And me?”
“You’re Luna, and responsible for recruitment.”
“Recruitment?”
“Of packmates. I want a partner, Regan someone who wants this brand-new pack to flourish as much as I do, and that person is you. So, what do you say? You think you’re up to the challenge?”
A partnership.
I think of all the shifters like Riley that I could help, and all the good I could do here and do it by just being me. “I think our pack should be a home to all the shifters that don’t have one. The ones that don’t have anywhere to go.”
His eyes soften. “You think so?”
I nod. “Maybe some won’t want to stay, and I think that should be okay. I mean, I know it’s in our nature to find a place and live there until we keel over, and someone shoves a bunch of flowers in our hands and buries us with our arms sticking out.”
I stop talking because Jackson is looking at me like I’m crazy. “What? Haven’t you heard that before?”
I feel his shoulders shaking. “No.” He chokes. “No, I haven’t.”
“Well, that’s what my dad says.” I frown. “Though that didn’t stop him and mom from moving. By the way, we should probably go down to Miami soon. I need to tell mom I’ve changed my mind about mating with Nate.”
His body stops shaking. “Nate?”
I should probably stop talking.
“Anyway. I think we should go to Miami, and you can meet my parents, and they can feed Riley ’cause Mom will take one look at him and fall in love with him. But my dad will love you.”
Jackson’s sigh is heavy. “Go on then, tell me why your dad will love me.”
“Because you love me. That’s why he’ll love you.”
“He won’t care that I’m a lone wolf?”
I feel the echo of pain in him from Lara’s betrayal, and I shake my head. “No. All he’ll care is that you love me, and I love you.”
“And he won’t care that you got so drunk you walked into a tree and tried to seduce me by flashing your fruit panties?”
I suck in a breath. “Nooo.”
He nods. “Yes. You did.”
“I did not. You’re only saying that because you know I can’t remember.”
“Ask Dayne and Talis. They had to peel you off me when all I was trying to do was put you to bed. You were wailing about me being the guy. Whatever that means.”
His expression tells me he knows exactly what I meant.
I close my eyes and will myself somewhere else. Somewhere dark, where no one can see my face or ask me why I’m blushing so hard. “Wailing?”
Jackson lowers his head and kisses me on the brow. “Wailing.”
God, no wonder Talis never texted me back. So that was why Dayne said it with that smile in his eyes.
I crack one eye open. “You know what I meant, didn’t you? My talk of the guy?”
He grins down at me. “I didn’t until you turned to me and explained that you meant dream guy.”
I nod. “Yes, because heaven forbid I’m not clear enough in my drunken stupor.”
“Now,” Jackson says, saving me from mortification, “about my plans.”
I open both eyes. “Your plans? What plans?”
But Jackson doesn’t explain.
When he starts kissing his way down my body, I grab onto his hair, making him glance up at me with a question in his eyes.
“Just stopping you from going anywhere,” I tell him. “Wouldn’t want you trying to make a break for freedom.”
His grin is wide and full-bodied. “The only place I’m going, darlin’, is down.”