Lost
WESTLEY
I WOKE UP with the feeling that someone pulled me out of the train wreck. My body was burning. My mouth was dry and tasted bitter. The first thing I noticed was that the room was dim-lit. I stilled as I half-opened my eyes to see a familiar figure sitting in front of me.
Clyve.
What the hell is going on?
He hadn’t noticed that I was already awake. He was staring at me, but I knew he was in deep thought. His brows knitted into a deep frown and his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Linton?” My voice came out hoarse and low.
He startled and blinked repeatedly. “Westley?”
Before I could blink, he was already sitting beside me on the bed. He placed the back of his hand on my forehead, then on my neck. His touch alone made my heart race even though it was so innocent, and I could feel my skin burn more.
“Are you hungry, thirsty? How are you feeling?” With worry in his voice, he grabbed the glass on the nightstand and offered it to me. “Drink this. Mum said you needed to rehydrate. Austen gave her consent so that she could give you IV fluids and injections to lower your fever. You were burning up, Westley. How could you go to the bar and got drunk when you were not feeling well?” He continued babbling while I dragged myself to lean against the headboard. I was still confused about how I ended up with him in one room.
The glass of water was still in my hand, and he was already placing the thermometer on my ear.
He glanced at the screen and said, “You still have a fever. Mum said you would be okay soon. Do you want a bowl of soup? Austen made some.”
“Linton, hold on.” I gulped the water and gave the glass back to him. I swallowed hard. My throat was parched though. Then I realized I was wearing a shirt that wasn’t mine.
“I changed you.” Finally, he met my gaze. His eyes were filled with worry and remorse.
“Linton, where am I?”
“Twelve hours ago, Austen called me and asked for my help. I thought you were just drunk, then I found out that you’re burning up.”
“How did your mom get into this?”
“You needed a doctor.” He shrugged.
I met Dr. Everly Hynson at the hospital. She reminded me of Clyve, and they both had good hearts.
“I know.” I looked down, feeling ashamed of my recklessness. “I should go home.”
I froze to feel his hand on mine. When I looked at him again, he still cared about me.
“You can stay here for as long as you want. Austen called your father that you are staying with him, minus the detail that you’re sick.”
I shook my head despite the headache that was killing me. “I need to change to something.”
“Don’t you feel comfortable with my shirt?”
His question had me stilled. He had no idea how soothing his shirt was, his smell, his touch, and even his soft and calming voice, but I shouldn’t get too carried away because this experience wouldn’t last long. He hated me. He made sure that whatever he had for me had completely ended since he found out my current status.
Speaking of Keene, he didn’t even answer my call. It hurt a lot that even my best friend who gave me everything to survive finally gave up on me.
“Hey, everything will be all right. I promise. Just get better, okay?” Clyve wiped my tears so that I didn’t know I was already crying.
“You all are a bunch of liars.” I pushed his hand off of me and pushed him away “Back off, Linton because I’m going home.”
“You should be getting some rest, Westley.” He was already on his feet while I dragged myself out of bed, ignoring the soreness of my muscles and my headache.
“Or what? Where are my clothes?” I wrapped my arms around my body when I felt I was shivering.
“Please, just stay until you get better.”
I grabbed my purse on my nightstand. When I checked my phone, I found missed calls from my father and a message. Then the door swung open, revealing Austen ready to spitfire. There was no emotion on his face other than rage.
“Are these real? This video and photographs are real, aren’t they, dear sister?” He showed us his phone screen.
I thought my world spun. My heart was crushed inside my chest. I felt I was getting smaller, burning, and melting as he stared at me with disgust and disappointment.
“You were gone for years, Harry. And this was what made you busy that you forgot that you have family back home?” He shook his head as hatred filled his eyes. “I can’t fucking believe it that you went this low-this far.”
“Austen, can you please stop being so righteous for a while? If she ever did this, I am sure she has reasons,” Clyve said. His tone was strong and firm. I was already in his arms before I completely fell to the floor. “Can’t you see she’s still burning up?”
“Stay out of this. This is between me and my sister, Mr. Linton.” Austen was ready to tackle Clyve if he made a move.
“And may I remind you that you are in my flat. Since you called earlier, what happens in this flat is my problem as well.”
“Just answer me this, Harry.”
I’d never been so terrified that I couldn’t even speak.
“She doesn’t have to tell you anything. She doesn’t owe you anything. People made mistakes, Austen, but that made them stronger. Mistakes don’t always make them bad people. Stop judging your sister as if you haven’t done terrible things-”
A yelp escaped my mouth, and I almost fell to the floor. Apprehension and dread chilled down my spine. A moment Linton was holding my arms, in a blink, he was on the floor, and Austen was punching him.
“Stop! Please, stop!” I yelled at the top of my voice. And I was shaking with fear and fever.
I watched them brawl each other, exchanging punches, and I was shaking, unable to think correctly. I scanned around the room until I found a pitcher of water. I grabbed it and threw it at them, causing them to pull apart.
“Stop this nonsense! You both are idiots. When instead of hating me, you are punching each other. I hated myself! After I lost Mom, I also lost Dad’s attention. I thought I lost my way until I met Keene. He never judged me for being a brat and a black sheep. He saw a little goodness in me. He respected me as a woman and a real person. He took care of me for years without asking anything in return.” I wiped the tears that kept pouring. I looked at them through blurry visions. “He was there for me when the bitches took everything from me and tore my world apart. When he got sick, I wished I could help, but I didn’t know what to do. And camming was the only thing I could think without leaving him out of my sight. I took all the risk just to save a little money as long as I could see the smile on his face when the time will come.”
“I’m sorry, Westley,” Clyve muttered.
“I regretted doing it behind his back because I knew he wouldn’t allow me to do such thing like that. He was still my husband, and I was scared that it would come to this, but I never regretted doing it for him. What I only regretted was falling for my needs instead of taking care of him.” At the corner of my eye, Clyve went rigid and dropped his gaze.
“Just hate me, Austen. I deserve it, and I don’t give a damn! Anyway, I already lost him completely.” With all my strength left, I grabbed my purse and walked past them.
“Westley!”
“Leave me alone! You also judged me, Linton. I saw the look in your eyes when you recognized me back at the cabin.”
“That’s not true, Westley.”
“Just fuck off! I don’t need all of you.”
* * *
BEFORE I COULD hail a cab, I felt like a loser crying outside the apartment building. As always, they didn’t care. They didn’t even come for me. It wasn’t a surprise anymore, especially for Linton. I thought he cared, and again, I was wrong. He just wanted to satisfy his curiosity. Now, he got what he wanted, he was over with me.
I cried the whole time on my ride back home. I lost everyone.
I realized those missed calls coming from my father were all about that video. I told him that I’d done terrible things and that I was not the Harry Bloom he once knew. What he wasn’t aware of was what I did for a living.
I was lost in my thoughts throughout the ride. I was dwelling on my own agony alone.
Still shivering from the fever, I paid and got out of the cab. With my arms shielding my face, I shrieked and froze in my place like a deer caught in the headlights of the situation where I was in. I wasn’t exactly expecting to get home like this. When I thought Harry Bloom was dead years ago, I was completely wrong.
With flashes and snaps of the camera focusing on me, I stared at them with wide eyes. I was caught in the middle of the crowd of nosy people, asking me horrible questions.
I didn’t know what to do. I could not think straight. All I could feel was fear. At this moment, all I wanted was to hide, but I had nowhere to go.
This time, I could not escape. I could not escape from my own doing backfiring at me.