Goodbyes
WESTLEY
I WOKE up late. I had a drink with Austen last night after dinner. I was thankful he came home with me without protest, or I did not give him any choice as I was too drunk to drive, or at least that was my entire plan.
I walked down the hallway toward the kitchen only to freeze in disbelief, staring at my father in front of Austen.
Since my mom’s affair and choosing Austen over him, he swore to put my brother’s life in hell if he ever saw him again, yet something shifted in the air, and the scenario in front of me was not what I ever expected to find in the morning.
“Dad, I thought you wouldn’t be here until Monday morning.” I walked closer to my brother who was flipping the pancake.
“Hey, sis. Morning.” He leaned down to kiss me on my cheek.
“I came back early, and I found your brother was criticizing those paintings on the walls.” Dad didn’t look at me, but I could sense the smile in his voice that I’d never heard in a very long long time. “Pass me that salt.”
“Where’s Keene?” I grabbed the salt and passed it to him.
When none of them seemed to hear me anymore, I walked away. I was at the door when my father called my name.
“He went home, Harry.”
Ice crystals formed in my veins as I slowly turned around to face my father. “What did you say?”
“He called me last night-”
“And I don’t know about it, why? Did you threaten him?” I glared at my father. My heart was already thudding with fury.
He looked taken aback by my accusation. “Why would I do that? I did everything to have you back. I know if I cross one thing that you love, I end up losing you.” He gave a sideways glance at Austen who stopped from his chore.
“How about you?”
Austen shrugged. “I don’t know anything about it, sis.”
“Give him some time, Harry,” my father said.
“Then what? For how long? He could be dead by that time.”
“He will continue his treatment, Harry. I already arranged a flight for his nurse, and she would be there in the afternoon. She will report to me if Keene won’t be feeling well.”
Tears misted my vision as I blindly stared at my phone screen. I realized he was leaving me. When he couldn’t convince me to file for divorce, this was how he thought to solve our issues since I just set aside every time he suggested.
I dialed his number, and it went straight to his voicemail. Great. It was all my fault for why this happened between us. I let my lust over Clyve control my mind.
All my life, being with Keene was the best thing I ever decided even though our lives just turned upside down with his illness. I’d never been certain he was the only person who never left me, yet I was wrong.
All the people in my life were but temporary. When I started trusting them, all they did was broke my heart and left me nothing but heartaches.
“Sis?” Austen was already gripping my arms, and I wasn’t aware that I was already shaking to cry until he pulled me into a tight hug.
“It’s okay. We can get through this. And it’s not that we don’t know where to find him, do we?”
“It’s all my fault,” I said between sobs. I’d offered and gave him everything just to prolong his life so that we could spend more time with each other. I did something that I thought I couldn’t do. I made a deal with the devil, and I took the bait my father had offered just to see the smile on his face again. Still, he left me when he was the only person who mattered to me.
“I understand him, and so do you. Just give him some time alone.” Austen was rubbing my back when I pulled away from him.
I shook my head. “I can’t do this right now.” I stormed away from them while they were both calling my name.
* * *
I WAS TRYING to recall the situation, and I realized that all this time, what he had been doing was to push me out of his life. He may not tell it right to my face, but he must be fed up babysitting a spoiled brat. I may be his wife, but it was nothing but paperwork. I didn’t think of his needs, and all I thought about was myself.
I couldn’t find any other reasons. When he couldn’t voice it out to me, he suggested a divorce. I thought it was because of me and Clyve. I’d been misled all along.
I’d cooled down a bit on my way to the studio.
I found Clyve scrolling on his laptop, and he hadn’t noticed me yet. My heart leaped to my throat just thinking that we were alone. In the corner of my brain, I didn’t come here to pick up what we left off. He’d moved on, and I should be doing the same.
“Do you know anything about Keene’s plan?”
His back went rigid before he turned around. “Westley.”
I wasn’t expecting to see the glittering sadness in his eyes. “Why am I not so surprised that you know about it, too?”
Clyve stood up and shook his head. “I didn’t agree with his idea of keeping it from you-”
“Why didn’t you stop him?”
“I wished I could, Westley, and I should have stayed away from both of you. Your problems should be between you two alone. I can’t get in the middle. I’d done so much trouble already, and I have enough regret in my life.”
“Yeah, because you already moved on. You are the reason why he left, don’t you know that? And you are the reason why we are in trouble in the first place. So, it’s too late for you to not get involved because you already are.”
His eyes narrowed at mine. “Because you lied to me. You used me, Westley. Your decision of lying to me is the reason why your marriage is in trouble. Don’t put your blame on me. I may be one of the reasons because I wasn’t aware that I was sleeping with a married woman, but shouldn’t you be blamed? Wake up, because you should be doing that to yourself instead.”
“He left me because he believes that I have a future with you. He thought you are the right person for me. If you didn’t go to that place, maybe our friendship was still intact. Then you promised that you won’t leave me, yet you just broke it and never even gave me a chance to explain.”
“I am still your friend, Westley, but nothing more. And I think it would be best if we should not see each other. Consider our deal is off.” He just broke my heart. I struggled to stand in my place. My eyes felt burning, and I could hardly breathe.
Clyve sat back in front of his laptop and sighed deeply before he spoke again. “He told me about your marriage. I understood that now, but you are still married, either by papers or to help your friend. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that I slept with a married woman.”
“I’m sorry.” My voice was low and ragged.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. What happened couldn’t change the fact anyway.”
“That’s it? I just lost my best friend, and now I lost you, too?”
He didn’t even look at me. He didn’t care about me or our friendship anymore. He made a point.
“Good luck then.” As I reeled from the gut-wrenching blow, I turned around, hoping I wouldn’t bump into him again.
I didn’t know how long I stood outside the studio until someone put a hand around my arm and put an umbrella above my head. It was raining, and I was soaking wet. All my life, I’d been a brat, a loser, and no one had ever appreciated me. When I was with Clyve and Keene, they accepted and had seen something good in me, and that was one thing that I couldn’t just ignore.
“It’s okay, baby girl. Daddy is here now. If they care enough about you, they won’t just get rid of you like that. They soon realize how precious you are to them. They will come back. Just give them some time.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as Dad wrapped his coat over my shivering body. I inhaled deeply and thought of those great memories with Keene. If he left and thought that it was good for the two of us, then I could not hold him back, but he thought that it was because of my feelings toward Clyve. I made sure to point out that his decision was wrong. One thing I was sure of was that Clyve pushed me out of his life for good.
Besides, Clyve deserved someone better than me. He was a good guy, and the last thing he should be doing was to get tangled with someone like me.