Nark and Jealousy
CLYVE
I HAD been staring at the white wall for God knew how long until I was interrupted.
“See anything fancy other than white paint?” Startled, my head snapped to the voice from my right-it was Skip.
Funny why he kept his hair long. He looked like a bloody biker, but I could not say he didn’t look good because I was his younger version.
Now, I wondered how he found me here, but of course, he was my brother, and sometimes I thought he implanted a micro tracker in my body.
“Fancy seeing you, brother.” I hugged him and forced a smile.
“Good to see you, too. Aren’t you supposed to meet Mum at the hospital?”
My throat choked up. I was still on the verge of processing the fact of what I found out yesterday. How in the hell did I miss something? A clue. How did I become so desperate in getting into a relationship? The last thing I wanted was to let someone commit infidelity for my own sake. And I just slept with a married woman.
She’s married. Bloody married.
I promised not to leave her, yet here I am running away like a complete idiot.
“I am here, ain’t I?”
Skip stared at me, eyes narrowing. He then stuffed his hands in his pockets and let out a deep sigh. Now, he would not let me go without throwing me a bunch of questions.
“Don’t ask. Aren’t you supposed to be in your high castle?”
“Can you stop being sarcastic for a while? What’s going on, Clyve?” The tone of his concerned voice formed a knot in my stomach.
He had nothing to do with my awful life other than being a thoughtful brother, while I felt pathetic. I could be just like any bachelor who lived in luxurious life with no strings-attached sex at their disposal. It just, it was not me, and I didn’t think I would be satisfied with that kind of living like the way they had.
“Apologies. I didn’t get a good sleep last night.” Literally. That encounter was keeping me awake the entire time, recalling that it might change the fact just a little bit. “I like this place though. I was thinking earlier that I’m done with cheapcation and I could use some help from a layout designer you can recommend to make this place possible within a month top.” Maybe changing the topic would help get rid of the awful feeling brewing inside me.
“How about a dinner with Arella tonight? Then we can discuss your ideas about this place. I actually have a surprise for you, brother.” Skip smiled-a smile that showed me he was the luckiest man on earth.
I rolled my eyes. “I bloody hate surprises. The last one I got was awful.”
“Fine. Rynna is in town.” His smile turned into a grin. “She stays with us for a while until her parents will come back from their honeymoon.”
I couldn’t help but smile back. Despite my circumstances, I needed to see Rynna in person. “Thought her mum is pregnant.”
“Yeah, but Ferry just came back from the Middle East, and the OB allowed Anna to travel. So, Arella is thrilled to hear the news.”
“I would love to meet Ry, Skip. I’ll be there, thank you.”
“I know you would be that’s why I came over here since your phone is off. Don’t worry about this place. Eli will handle the interior designers. He’ll let you know.”
This place was big enough for an art gallery and half for a studio-it reminded me of my deal with Westley. Whatever her deal with Keene was not my business, and whatever we had didn’t matter anymore. Did it?
It fucking hurts. There was no way I would continue whatever she thought we had. Or I thought we had something until that something was ruined in a bloody heartbeat.
A let out a sigh and Skip did not miss it.
“Is something wrong?” Skip remained eerily calm.
“Tosh. Stop psycho-analyzing me.”
“I am not, but I can feel and sense whatever trouble you have right now. Is it about the woman with your landlord?”
I shrugged and let out a shaky breath. “Will you stop it? I am happy to see you. Can you keep it like that?”
“You are my brother-”
“Bollocks!” I spat, and rage started to boil up. “Just naff it off! There’s nothing I can’t handle.”
“I just want to help.”
“Well, I don’t need your bloody help, and when I do, I’ll let you know. I always did, didn’t I?”
“Clyve-”
“Enough! I am not so imbecile who can’t handle my own trouble if I ever have. How could I ever stand on my own feet if you keep interfering with my personal business? I am just two years younger than you for bloody sake!”
Skip looked taken aback, and it made me feel like someone just punched me in my gut. “I don’t mean it like that.”
“You mean exactly like that because you thought I am a pathetic arse and might want to piss or fall off the wagon again. I am still sober, ain’t I?”
“I just wanna-”
“Check me out because that was what Dad told you before his last breath. Well, let me remind you, brother, he’s dead. Bloody dead! I am old enough to stand for my own goddamn awful life. I am trying to build something here that’s why I don’t want you coming and checking up on me every now and then. Let me prove to you that I am a responsible bloke and not the old Clyve you knew. So, please stop whatever you’re doing right now because it fucking annoys me, and throwing me to the pit of that cabin didn’t do any good for me as well.”
“I am sorry.”
“You are not. I couldn’t even feel the sincerity coming from you.” I walked out before I said something that I might regret later.
A gust of cool air drifted towards me, and I was startled by the noises of the city-my reminders that I was not in that town anymore. And here I was, alone again.
I loved that arse but sometimes he made me a less capable human being. I couldn’t blame him for being himself, because he’d seen me in my darkest days, but I would never intentionally visit that hell again.
* * *
I DECIDED to show up despite my unpleasant encounter with my brother. I wanted to meet his daughter in person, and maybe this would be a better idea to disregard my problem for a while.
Westley and Keene sent messages, telling me the diagnostics went well. I was in the middle of typing her a reply, but I deleted it and turned off my phone instead.
She lied to me, and it bloody hurt. I didn’t think I could forgive her for what she did, and I was such an idiot to fall for all her lies.
All I could do was keep my word, and I even arranged a driver for them. I made my promise, and that was what I did.
“My God! I thought Skip was joking.” Arella’s eyes widened in surprise, and she was more beautiful than the last time I saw her. When was that? A few months ago. She was wearing a red dress and let her blonde hair down.
“Blonde, eh?” I smiled, and she kissed me on my cheek.
“Yeah. Skip said it looks good on me.” It is, indeed.
“And you believe him?”
Before she could answer the shadow of my brother appeared.
“Good to see you again, brother.” Skip sauntered towards us as I closed their apartment door behind me.
I gave him a brotherly hug. “Sorry for snapping at you this morning. I was just a little bit narky.”
“No worries. Sometimes I forget how old we are right now.” He chuckled. “Come here, and I want you to meet Ry.”
Then a beautiful girl walked in wearing a pink corsage dress. There was no question she was not Skip and Arella’s. She was a mix of them. Her hair, the shape of her face, and of course, those eyes.
I’d talked to her over the video cam and had seen her pictures, but her being in front of me was a justification and living proof that she truly existed.
I knelt in front of her and took a closer look. Rynna felt shy all of a sudden but was able to smile at me.
“Hello, Ry. Do you still remember me?”
“Yes. You’re Skip’s brother, CC.” She called me CC, and as much as I wanted to tell her to call me Clyve, this was my first niece, and I was going to spoil her.
“Can I get a real hug and not a virtual one anymore?” I held her hands, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and I pulled her into my arms. “It’s fancy and truly an honour to finally meet you, Ry.”
She smelled sweet, and I remembered her showing me the scent her mother created only for her.
“Me too, CC,” she mumbled.
* * *
The nosh was good, and I had a good appetite, or was it because I missed being with them? Nevertheless, I was stuffed. We wrapped up our dinner with their favorite homemade ice cream-strawberry cheesecake. And I couldn’t say no when Ry already stuffed my mouth so that I had to swallow it.
Rynna took a seat in between me and her father. My brother was quite contented with not letting his child know who he was to her, and they seemed closer and probably because they shared the same DNA.
Rynna’s hand was tapping on Skip’s knee as they shared something on the iPad.
“You’re quite good at this, Ry. Nice one,” Skip praised his daughter.
“Really?” Ry giggled and leaned against Skip.
“Yeah. I’m proud of you.” He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arm around her to pull her into a hug.
“Thank you, Skip.”
“You’re welcome, my heart.”
My heart felt as if it ripped off piece by piece from my chest, and I had to stand up and walk away. I couldn’t watch it anymore. I was jealous.
My brother had a perfect life, and I, on the other hand, had a terrible one.
“Leaving already?” Arella’s voice came from my back.
I turned around. “Nope. They look perfect together as a father and daughter,” I said honestly. “And she’s lovelier in person, Are.”
Her eyes glittered with pride. “I was worried Skip would take her away from them. I don’t wanna break her heart, CC, and I couldn’t ask for more because they love her as their own.”
“He wasn’t there and watched her grow up, but he could love her without hurting them and Ry. And trust me, Are, my brother would never hurt you again by doing such a thing.” I followed her to their minibar.
Arella poured herself a red wine, gave me an empty glass, and carbonated bottled water. “I know, and I’m so relieved that Anna and Ferry gave us a chance to be with her. I am happy just to be with her for a few days.”
“I’m ecstatic to both of you.” I squeezed her hand. “You make Skip happier. I couldn’t thank you enough. As a brother, that’s all I wanted for him, to see him this happy.”
Bloody fuck! It hurt to admit, but deep inside, I knew he wanted the same thing for me, but right now, I had no luck in finding my true happiness.
“You should tell me then what’s bothering you.” Something in her voice made me want to open up, but I was one hundred percent sure she would tell Skip about it.
“Owt.”
“Don’t owt for nowt me, CC.”
I chuckled. “I just have a lot of things on my mind right now.”
“And?”
“Just hard lines. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“I can feel your tension filling in the air, Clyve, and your constant sighing made me harder to breathe. I promise I won’t tell your brother if that’s what stopping you from telling me, or would you rather talk to a shrink about it? Trust me, it’s not good to keep it to yourself. I’ve been there, and it’s hard to even breathe and sleep every night.”
“I’m good.”
“Are you sure? Because it doesn’t tell the same as I look at you right now.”
“God, woman.” I took a breath. “She’s married.”