Alpha Luciano’s POV
The thing about life is that when bad things happen you think ‘sorry for the person but it can never happen to me’. Things like these didn’t happen to people like me. I shouldn’t have had to wait on a verdict from a doctor with so much trepidation.
It was my fault. All of it. If I had just taken her with me like she’d asked me to then none of this would have happened. If I had stationed a company of guards to protect her instead of giving her so few because I thought it would keep people less suspicious and keep her safe.
If I had simply left the fucking party from the start the moment I felt strange. If only, if only, if fucking only. I was filled with regret. I was angry and pained, I wanted to rip someone, anyone apart. There was something fundamentally flawed with me.
I had strangled Emery instead of checking in on Arabella’s condition first. If I closed my eyes, I could still hear Arabella’s voice.
Luciano, look at us. We’ll be terrible parents… You are one of the most volatile and uncaring people that I know. With a history like ours, does that scream parent material to you?
I remembered how I eased her fears while hiding mine. I remembered my complete conviction that this would be different. That everything would be different now. But I had fucked it up. Me.
“Alpha.” I looked up with red-rimmed eyes to look at Mikah. There was a bloody spot on his otherwise pristine suit.
“What did she say?” Thinking of Emery was enough to make me see red. I tried to restrain myself I couldn’t go off and torture her while Arabella and my child’s lives hung in the balance. It didn’t mean I couldn’t send someone else to start it up for me.
“She continues to deny her involvement but I came here to report something else. The dead men we found that attacked Arabella are Creoles. The probability is pretty high that Anastasia sent them to assassinate Arabella in retaliation for her testimony against her. Emery could have been an innocent bystander or an accomplice to Anastasia, we won’t know until after further interrogation.”
Anastasia. So the Creoles had finally made their move and what a move it was, it had Anastasia written all over it. I shook with anger. I wanted to hunt them down and rip them apart, limb to fucking limb, they would pay more than their weight in this and then some. I would be merciless.
“Alpha?” The doctor said coming out of the room and all the violent thoughts left my head. I left Mikah and walked up to her.
“How is Arabella? How is the child?”
I heard Mikah inhale sharply behind me but I could have cared less.
The doctor hesitated and I knew what she was about to say before she spoke.
“I’m sorry to inform you Alpha but the baby was miscarried. Arabella is still recovering and should regain consciousness any time now.”
I rocked back in shock, pain and loss for something that I didn’t realise how much I wanted until I had lost it.
Mikah reached out to stabilize me and for once I let someone help me.
Arabella’s POV
When I opened my eyes, I was in the pack’s infirmary again. I couldn’t remember how exactly I had gotten here. I remembered the attackers, Margaret, Emery saving me and losing strength in increments and seeing Margaret laying there lifeless had taken out the little strength I had left.
Had I fainted because of the traumatic experience? I felt strange. Disembodied sort of. I turned my head to see Luciano sitting on the chair next to my bed. “Luciano?”
He looked terrible. He still wore the suit for the party but the jacket was gone and his shirt was stained with blood. A memory began to arise in the back of my mind but I shut it out now frightened of the strong emotions tied to the memory. His black hair was a mess and his blue eyes held a deep pain.
“Arabella.” He took my hand, bent his head and pressed a kiss on it. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
When he raised his head, I noted with shock that he was crying. The memory came roaring with force. I was in pain, I was crying, I was in Luciano’s arms, my thighs slick with blood. “My baby, Luciano. Our baby.”
“Will be fine.” He dropped me on the hospital bed. “I’ll just be outside okay?” Luciano said but his voice cracked and his hands shook.
“No, don’t leave again, please.”
Luciano looked gutted. He shut his eyes as though in unbearable pain.
The nurse caught my hand and injected me. I was too weak to fight her and the last thing I saw before the anaesthesia took me under was Luciano walking out the door. Leaving. Again.
“No.” I shook my head. “No.” My baby was fine. Our baby was alright. I threw off the sheets that covered me up and touched my belly. My baby bump was smaller than it was the last time I felt it. I couldn’t feel the pulse of my child.
“Arabella–”
“No, Luciano, please tell me it isn’t true. My child, our child isn’t dead, right?”
Luciano was silent and another tear dropped from his eyes.
“Stop fucking crying and answer me!” I yelled at him as I began to cry as well. “You are Luciano Romano. Did you lose your tongue?”
“Arabella. We lost the baby. I’m sorry.”
I opened my mouth but I couldn’t speak as grief clogged up my throat. No, no, no. I shook as a sob arose within me.
I never thought I was ready to be a mother but now I never realized how much I had been looking forward to it. To have a child who would be a whole new person that I would look after, that depended on me for everything.
My heart cracked. I choked on my sobs and then I cried as every dream and hope I had for the child disappeared. Luciano sat next to me on the bed and embraced me. I buried my head in his chest and wept.
Alpha Luciano’s POV
Life went on despite the fact that I had lost my child. The business still needed supervision and the Creoles needed to be taught that crossing me was a death sentence. I tried not to be idle because the moment I was, I became lost in thought. Overthinking everything and anything.
“Alpha perhaps you can take the day off.” Mikah started slowly, perhaps expecting a reprimand.
“I’ll inform you of any big updates. I can take care of the rest.”
I sighed loudly. “Could you do that? Thank you, Mikah. At this point, I might not be able to let you leave for your honeymoon.”
He was fast becoming a crouch for me.
“That will be fine, Alpha. I appreciate all that you do for the pack. Even you deserve a day off. My condolences.”
I nodded and slapped his back before leaving the office.
*****
When I reached the hospital, I was informed of a rather disturbing event. Arabella was refusing food. She would soon be discharged but she was far from alright.
I entered the room and she was on the bed staring after nothing, she didn’t even notice I had arrived. I dropped the tray of food by her bedside.
“Arabella.” I took her hand. Arabella turned slightly to look at me.
“You need to eat something. You can’t keep doing this. If you don’t eat you can’t heal.”
“Maybe I don’t want to heal. Besides, what do you care? I already lost the baby. There is no need for you to be nice to me. Or do you feel pity for me, Luciano?”
I was shocked at her bitterness but I understood her. She was in pain and lashing out.
I captured her chin and levelled my gaze with her dead gaze. I needed to spark her fire again. “Listen to me carefully Bianchi because I will not repeat myself. I own you. You can’t just decide to not eat. I decide when you eat and when you sleep. If I tell you to cease breathing, you must. Your very life is a gift from me, you don’t think I have forgotten what you did with Natasha, do you? Right now I want you to eat. I don’t care about what you want. If you refuse I will call the nurses to hold you down and force-feed you. You decide which humiliation you prefer.”
Arabella glared at me. “Fuck you, Luciano. You can never change. I was so stupid for thinking otherwise.”
“Glad we could clear that up.” I said sardonically.
She glared at me some more but she picked up the plate of food and began to eat it almost angrily. I pretended to not notice the tears that fell from her eyes into the food. I watched her eat every bite of the food before leaving the room. She didn’t even look at me as I left and it was alright.
Let her hate me if she must as long as she was alive to do it.