“Just finished taking your vitamins?”
Velia nearly choked when, once again, Lucas emerged from the bathroom unexpectedly and caught her in the act of swallowing a pill. She coughed, then nodded half-heartedly.
Lucas approached Velia, still wrapped in a towel around his lower body. Just for a moment, he came closer to Velia to plant a fleeting kiss.
“That’s good. I’m glad you’re healthy. Never forget to take them every morning.”
Again, Velia only nodded while Lucas moved away. He headed towards the dressing room, and Velia let out a long sigh, feeling relieved. However, she could not help but touch her head where Lucas had kissed her and unconsciously smiled.
*
Velia started her morning work with enthusiasm. She wasn’t just focused, but she seemed to be enjoying it.
Velia’s calm demeanor and positive atmosphere caught Mecca’s attention. It was no surprise that during their work hours, Mecca took the opportunity to approach Velia and make a comment.
“It seems like there’s good news today.”
Velia blinked. She turned and found Mecca smiling and winking.
“G-good news?” Velia asked, confused. “What good news are you talking about?”
“That’s what I’ve been waiting for from you. Good news. You look happy today. Your face is radiant, unlike usual. I rarely see you like this, and I guess…”
Mecca closed the distance between them. Briefly, she looked left and right repeatedly, ensuring that no one would overhear their conversation.
“This must have something to do with Harry’s surgery.”
Velia was taken aback. Her facial expression turned stiff.
“How is he? Did the surgery go well?”
Velia fell silent. Mecca’s question instantly changed her facial expression. She, who was previously cheerful, instantly froze.
Oh, God. Right. Harry had surgery yesterday.
“Ve?”
Mecca’s curiosity about the happy news that caused Velia’s radiance turned into confusion. She stared intently at Velia, who could only blink in embarrassment.
“What’s wrong, Ve?”
Velia bit her lip. She hesitated with a facial expression that Mecca couldn’t read.
“I don’t know about Harry’s condition yet.”
Now it was not just Velia’s face that changed, but Mecca’s as well. The woman was momentarily stunned, as if she needed time to contemplate Velia’s words.
“He-he doesn’t know, right?”
Velia reluctantly nodded. “I couldn’t go to the hospital yesterday. Something happened, and-”
It seemed that Mecca understood, and Velia decided not to explain further. Moreover, Mecca wisely tried to lighten the mood.
“I’m sure he’s doing fine,” Mecca quickly said. “You can see him later.”
“You’re right.”
Regretting what had happened was futile. In fact, Velia could not even consider it as regret. Velia did not regret choosing to stay by Lucas’ side instead of accompanying Harry’s surgery. However, it did not mean that there was no guilt arising.
Right. That was the correct word. Guilt.
Velia decided to visit Harry that day. Not just to ease her guilt, but because she also wanted to know how he was doing. Luckily, Carter agreed to her request without asking any questions. They headed to the hospital after leaving the office.
Velia had to wait for almost an hour before she could meet with dr. Stewart. They consulted, and Velia managed to alleviate some of her guilt. Harry’s surgery went smoothly.
Velia’s hope lit up. Unfortunately, for one extremely important matter, dr. Stewart still could not predict. Even the best doctors have their limits. There were beyond their reach. Including knowing when a patient will wake up from a coma.
That was okay. Velia reassured herself. At least Harry had passed the worst part, and now they just had to wait.
“I know you’ll wake up soon. I’ll wait for you. No matter how long it takes, I’ll keep waiting for you to wake up.”
It was not just because Velia wanted Harry to recover and continue his life as he should, but more than that. Velia was tired of constantly wrestling with guilt and regret that kept multiplying. She was tormented by the accusations that were constantly directed at herself.
“If only.”
Only one word could truly represent all the guilt and regret Velia felt. One word that, unfortunately, could only remain as a mere supposition.
“If only you hadn’t helped me back then, maybe you wouldn’t have experienced all this. See? You lost your family and your life because of me.”
Velia’s eyes dimmed as she looked at Harry. The light shining there implied countless unspoken emotions. She was sure that what she said would not be enough to express her true feelings.
“You shouldn’t have reached out to me, Her. Helping me start a new life without Lucas was something you shouldn’t have done. And look now? I didn’t accompany you during your surgery, Her. Do you know why?”
In reality, the success of Harry’s surgery couldn’t fully alleviate Velia’s guilt. When she remembered what she had done, the guilt resurfaced, even stronger than before.
“True,” Velia whispered painfully. “I stayed with Lucas.”
Grief emerged and choked Velia’s throat. The feeling was indescribable. It was so bitter that she felt incapable of handling it.
“Lucas was sick, and I chose to be with him. Not only that, but I also chose to go back as soon as I had the chance to visit you yesterday. I was genuinely worried about him that I didn’t think of you at all.”
Something crossed Velia’s mind. She jerked her head up. Faint furrows appeared on her forehead as she shook her head while squeezing Harry’s fingers.
“Don’t blame Lucas, Her,” Velia said, her voice stuttering. It seemed that the bitterness did not dissipate but overflowed. “He allowed me to go. He let me, but I still chose to be with him. To take care of him.”
The same applied to the honesty Velia expressed. She did not find it relieving her burden. She was tired. She gave up. In the end, the only thing she could do was release Harry’s hand.
Velia hurried out as fast as possible. She rushed to the restroom when a deep breath reminded her of something.
This was not about Harry. This was not about guilt or the lies she had to fabricate. Not at all. Instead, it was about one name that had made its mark even more prominently.
Velia’s defense crumbled. She hid in the restroom cubicle and let out all the tears that had been building up.
“You know you can never have Lucas. You know how his family drove you away, and Lucas doesn’t trust you. And now? You willingly throw yourself back into it?”
It was one name that was the beginning and the end. The place where everything started and ended.
“I-I…”
Tears streamed down. Choked sobs and anguish tortured Velia. She curled up, but the pain only intensified.
“I love Lucas, God.”
Her fingers clenched. Velia pounded her chest, trying to dismiss the feeling. Unfortunately, it only intensified.
Lucas’ face appeared in her mind. He filled Velia’s thoughts with his appearance, smile, and laughter.
“I truly love Lucas.”
*
Lucas picked up the wireless earpiece he had been using. He briefly wiped it before putting it back into his jacket pocket.
His eyes closed. Lucas took a deep breath. When his eyes reopened, they were tinged with red.
Lucas needed some time to calm himself. He had to suppress the uncomfortable turmoil raging in his chest.
It took a while. In fact, Lucas needed several minutes to gather enough certainty before he picked up his phone and called Velia.
“Luc?” Velia’s soft voice elicited a faint smile on Lucas’ face. It was like an oasis, soothing the current turmoil that was raging within him.
“Yes,” Lucas affirmed. “It’s me. Have you arrived home?”
Velia could be heard taking a breath on the other end. “Yes. Not too long ago. What’s up?”
“It seems like I’ll be coming home late. I need to stop by the house for a bit. There’s something I have to do.”
“Oh, alright.”
“Are you okay being alone at the unit?”
“Don’t worry, Luc. This isn’t the first time I’ve been alone here. Besides, aren’t you coming back soon?”
Lucas could imagine the smile on Velia’s face and the sparkle in her eyes. It brought him a sense of peace.
“Of course. I’ll be back as soon as possible.”
“So, what time exactly will you be coming home? Are you going to have dinner at home?”
“I’ll definitely eat whatever you cook, no matter what time I come back,” Lucas replied, with a certain memory crossing his mind. “I saw some shrimp in the fridge. Maybe some fried shrimp will do.”
“Alright. I’ll cook it.”
“Thank you, and-”
Lucas’ tongue stopped moving. The words he had prepared suddenly disappeared.
“Luc?”
Lucas blinked. He knew exactly what he wanted to say, but there was a lump in his throat that hindered him. It was difficult for him to speak, let alone draw a breath.
“I can’t wait to taste your fried shrimp,” Lucas finally said. “Wait for me to come home.”
“Of course. I’ll be waiting.”
*