“Winnie?!” In shock, Hudson let her go and saw that her face was already covered in tears. She even bit her lips until they bled, which left Hudson dumbfounded.
“Let me go! Please.” He finally removed his hands from her body, as she continued to cry and bit down on her lips. Only she knew just how painful and sorrowful she felt.
“Winnie,” Hudson was still in a daze. He thought her resistance was due to shyness since they have been apart for a while, but now he knew that wasn’t it. A wave of guilt and pain began to swell inside him, and he let her go, filled with a depression that could make anyone feel sorry for him.
Originally, he thought that, by acting dominant and hugging and teasing her he could make her happy, and there might have been a chance for them to make up.
But he was wrong; her body, her heart rejected him completely. She didn’t want him anywhere near her at all. But why was this; was he the only one who felt heartbroken?
“I’m not some woman you can bully as you please. And I’m definitely not your plaything!” She said as she shoved him, then she shut her eyes and bent down.
There were countless nights where she suddenly awoke from a nightmare and cried by herself until morning came.
Her dreams always encircled that night, where he’d rather mutilate himself than make love to her. Had grandfather not fed Hudson some ambrosia, he’d still never touch her! So, everything between the two of them was wrong from the beginning. She mustn’t keep this mistake up any longer!
While she was in New York, she was on a foreign land where she didn’t know anyone. Yet, he just left her there to bleed by herself. Even now, there was no way to fill the empty void in her heart.
For four years, she’d thought she was free. But the second she returned to the country and heard that they were still married, she was bewildered and couldn’t possibly understand why he would do that. Didn’t he always want to get a divorce? Was it because Esther wouldn’t be together with him, so he wouldn’t let her go?
But, alas, even love becomes a bitter fruit if it is forced! She didn’t want to remain in an unrequited, one-sided relationship any longer.
While he has been better toward her these past four years, she was still exhausted and afraid. She was a deserter who didn’t want to endure any more pain. She didn’t even dare to ask him if he even liked her one bit. She just wanted to leave!
He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes. She was afraid to see a wavering look in his eyes and afraid that, if she softened up, she’d fall right back to how she was before. That time in her life was a torment! She didn’t want to relive that at all!
“I’m sorry, I know I hurt you too deeply, but I don’t want to get divorced!” Hudson also bent down and placed a hand on her shoulder as he looked into her eyes with a soft glance.
“Why don’t you want to get a divorce?” She forced a smile from her tear-filled face; it was a smile mixed with loneliness and despair.
“Because I just don’t want to!” His reply was always so vague.
“Not everything in the world has to go your way. It doesn’t work like that. Back then, I didn’t want you to leave me to go save Esther, but you still went, didn’t you? I thought you loved me, but you don’t love me at all, don’t you? Right now, all I want is my freedom, to start a new life. Is it because you can’t stand to see me happy? Did you become even more pervert over these past four years?”
“Winnie!” Hudson was dumbfounded, but he remained patient against her wild accusations, “You’re angry because I hurt you, right? I won’t do it anymore, not ever again, I promise!”
She stood up and headed to the bathroom to rinse her face. She didn’t want to cry anymore. What reason did she have to cry? “I don’t want your promises, I want a divorce!”
Hudson was in a tough spot. Why did she have to be so stubborn? But he knew he was the original cause of all this mess, that there was no one to blame but himself.
Suddenly, his cell began to ring.
He looked to see it was Esther calling.
He picked up the call.
“Hudson, you’re doing the right thing; you should take Winnie and just leave G City!”
“What, how do you know this?” Hudson asked confusedly.
“I happened to see you both leave, so I followed you two until you went up the freeway! Hudson, you have to remember to be responsible and see things through, or your wife won’t be your wife anymore! She might not be able to have a normal baby right now, but even if she married someone else, her new husband knows that it was because of you that she can’t rear a child, he will abuse her to no end. If that happens, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life!”
“But-”
“But what? All women will never say what they really think and feel!” Esther then reminded him, “It doesn’t matter what you’ve done before, they’ll forget it by the next day. Will it kill you to put in some good words and act manly?”
“But-”
“No more buts, hurry up, I’m hanging up now!” Esther said and hung up.
Hudson wrinkled his eyebrows; he watched as Winnie stepped out of the restroom, then he walked behind her and placed an arm behind her thin waist, then rested his head on her shoulder, “I’m sorry! Winnie, I know I’ve hurt you!”
“I don’t want your apology; what good will that do? It doesn’t change anything!” She didn’t expect that he’d say such a thing. She’d just tidied up her face, but now tears began to fall down her face again.
Just what was going on?
She looked at the mirror and saw his handsome face. It wasn’t a silly or joking face, but a serious one. She was afraid of this expression. After four years, it was as though he had become a polished diamond, which made anyone and everyone unable to turn their eyes away.
But, was she one of them?
Yes, she was! She had seen his worst side but had also seen his best side as well. Four years later, she still could not turn her eyes away from him.
But, he had unleashed his worst side on her and reserved his best side for another woman. After four years, even though she still couldn’t turn her eyes away from him, she was no longer her old self where love was above all else.
She turned around and was ready to leave. In these past four years, flashes of how poorly he treated her and how lovingly he treated Esther would surface to mind. And whenever they did, her tears would begin to fall.
In these past four years, he made her life a living hell, yet always treated another woman with such tenderness and care. And now, against his pleads, her self-esteem would no longer allow her to accept him.
She wobbled her way to the door, but a strong force yanked her back and into his arms. He hugged her tightly from behind. She struggled with all her might to get free, but maintained a cold tone and distant stare as she said, “Mr. Ball, let go of me.”
Hudson froze up; his arms that held her stiffened. The way she called him had petrified him.
The way she acted now was all to tell him that they were two strangers now.
Even in these four years without him, she didn’t starve to death nor resort to extreme measures to fend for herself. She didn’t depend on her family or her grandfather, nor did she have anyone to call for help. Rather, she made quite a life for herself in New York. Was he bitter to see her living so happily that he now had to interrupt her peaceful life?
Or did he see her with Rio?
Did he think they were together?
But now, she wasn’t that same naive little girl she used to be. She wanted a man that was whole-heartedly devoted to her and her alone. Or else, she’d rather not have him at all. It might sound selfish, but who wasn’t?
She heard him chuckle lightly next to her ear. She didn’t know if she misheard, but his laugh seemed to carry a slight hint of sadness, but more so filled with anger and scorn.
Suddenly, he began to kiss her incessantly.
He forcefully began to tear her clothes off.
By now, she could no longer remain calm. She pushed and shouted, “Hudson Ball, just what do you think you’re doing?”
He grabbed her and dragged her over to the bed, then pressed down upon her. He pinned her hands above her head, which completely enraged her. Through his eyes, she could see her own angered expression that was slightly terrifying.
But he seemed even more enraged than she was. He glared at her and scanned her up and down, as though he was trying to figure out what she was thinking from her face.
She didn’t want to look at his face, nor did she dare to.
“Hudson Ball, you used such underhanded measures to trick me to come here, aren’t you disgusted with yourself? By doing this, you’re only making me detest you even more!”
He was quiet for a while. From his dark gaze, there was now a glint of tenderness. His eyes were extremely alluring, like black holes that even devoured the light. Now and then, a hint of sadness will shine through. He was like a prideful yet pained Prince Charming, looking deeply at her. What woman could possibly resist him? She shut her eyes.
She listened as he said, “No matter what you think, from this moment on, I want you, and that’s never going to change! I don’t just want you for tonight, I want you for the rest of my life!”
Her heart nearly skipped a beat and was running wild.
He leaned down to gently kiss her lips in a caressing way. His kisses were light as if to softly take in her existence lovingly.
“Winnie-” He gently called out to her as he kissed.
And he watched her fall slowly, bit by bit.
He could feel her begin to soften up. He let go of her wrist and gently stroked her face, as though he was touching a piece of incredibly fragile porcelain.
She suddenly felt a surge of bitterness and discomfort swell from inside her. The feeling went from her heart up to her eyes, and her tears began to fall uncontrollably.
Everything came to a sudden halt the second her palm gave a resounding slap across his face.
He froze agitated in place for a minute, just staring at her in disbelief. His right cheek was throbbing red with pain, and his entire body began to radiate a sense of rage. And she glared back at him, then turned her face to look away.
She thought he’d let her go with that slap.
Unfortunately for her, he began to ferociously kiss her lips again, in a flurry of passionate kisses.
“Winnie, give us another chance to start anew, OK? Forget the past, let bygones be bygones, let’s start anew…” She couldn’t help herself but to fall into his deep, dark gaze.