After hearing what Esther had said, Elijah’s heart throbbed with pain. He lowered his head as he did not dare to look at her. As his car was parked at the side of the road, a faint sense of mockery could be seen through his clear sight. He actually did something stupid.
He actually did something so obvious, he actually let Esther see him hesitating and struggling. However, even though he still had feelings for her, they were about to be separated. This was the saddest part of all. However, how could he tell her, how could he ask her to wait for him for three years? Although three years was neither long nor short, it still contained more than a thousand days. For anyone, it will be a very lonely and long time.
“What is wrong with you?” Esther looked at him and asked once again.
Although Elijah’s mouth was opened, he eventually closed it without saying anything as his hands were clenched into fists.
He suddenly wanted to care about nothing and just embraced her thin figure. However, all the desires he had in his mind only made him let out a sigh. “Let’s go home!”
He said he wanted to go back home, but he did not move!
His eyebrows were drawn together as he was feeling sorrow. The feeling of frustration could be felt in his heart which made him let out a bitter smile. His very pale face was filled with a mournful expression, covering his former glory. At the moment, he was like an ordinary man, suffering and hurting because of love.
“Since you don’t want to say anything, I won’t ask anymore!” Esther knew that this time, there was really something going on. Although she did not know exactly what was going on, she knew something happened. Otherwise, Elijah would not have such a tangled expression on his face.
“Esther!” He suddenly stretched out his hand and hugged her.
Esther was stunned and felt his body trembling.
“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” Elijah’s voice sounded very deep and full of helplessness as he silently looked at the moon. This night felt extraordinarily cold, even the moonlight looked so miserable. His eyes were no longer able to hide the grief he felt. He then let out a long sigh, “Forgive me for not being able to tell you!”
As he finally mustered up a smile, the feeling of bitterness surged into his heart. Although it felt painful as if something was gnawing at his heart, he still said those words. He originally wanted to leave without saying anything.
However, it will be so unfair to Esther!
What had happened to him? Otherwise, he would not speak to herself in that mournful tone. Through listening to that soft tone of his, it seemed he had endless sorrow and helplessness in his heart that he could talk about.
In the end, Esther did not ask anything.
Elijah hugged her for a while and let go. He then said, “Let’s go home! It’s time to rest!”
However, when she got back home, Esther could not find him again.
After asking Quinn, she learned that he was on the rooftop.
She ran to the rooftop to look for him again. Before arriving at the rooftop, she already could smell the strong cigarette smoke from afar. It had been a while since she saw him smoking. As he was smoking again now, he must be very troubled.
From a distance, she saw his lonely figure standing on the rooftop as the cold wind blew on his sleeping robe. In the late-night, he looked solemn as if he was a stone statue that has stood for thousands of years.
She did not know why she footsteps were getting heavier. Seeing the short distance between them, it felt like the boundary between life and death for her at that moment. Step by step, Esther slowly approached him. However, with the distance between them getting closer, she suddenly had the urge to escape. It was because he looked very lonely so that it made her already confused heart slowly felt sad and reluctant. Was he going to break up with her?
Finally. she still walked over towards him. However, she still felt the lonely aura emanating from Elijah’s surroundings.
“Husband …” Esther softly called out as her voice was trembling. The tone of her voice carried a more concerning feeling than normal.
As he heard a familiar voice coming from behind, Elijah closed his eyes in pain, letting the heavy sorrow showing through his eyebrows and face.
After a long time, he finally slowly turned around. His deep gaze was focused on the familiar figure in front of him. At that moment, Elijah did not say anything, but only reached out his hand, and put her into his arms.
The undisguised pain in his eyes deeply stung Esther’s hardened heart. Why did he look at her with such a mournful gaze? Although he was standing in front of herself with no health problems, at that moment, she felt as if they were about to be separated by death. That heaving expression on his face made her unable to breathe normally as if something was going to burst out from that cold heart of hers.
“Why don’t you wear more clothes?” After hugging her, Elijah stretched out his trembling hands as he tenderly caressing Esther’s thin face. He observed her face closely, slowly carving a picture into the depths of his heart. In the long days to come, he might only be able to rely on this memory of her face to spend a thousand days or even a lifetime by himself. At that moment, he suddenly thought, there was a chance that he might be able to come back. If so, what is she going to do?
Should he want her to continue waiting for him?
No!
He really could not be so selfish!
Esther did not want to cry, because she never felt sentimental. However, tears were still inexplicably falling from the corner of her eyes, slowly passing her cheeks and dripping down onto Elijah’s long fingers.
“Everything’s fine, why are you crying?” He painfully wiped away her tears with his thumb. Elijah’s deep gaze towards her was so gentle that it could melt the coldness of everything in time. Seeing such deep eyes of his containing so much sorrow, made Esther feel pain.
“Well, let’s get in! You are already trembling from the cold!” His tone was full of pain and pity, but it made Esther’s tears fall even more fiercely. She was not used to seeing herself being so vulnerable, but sad tears still fell all over her cheeks.
Elijah let out a long sigh, carried her off the rooftop, and returned to the bedroom.
As he put her on the bed, Esther’s face was still covered with tear marks. Her teary eyes blurred as she looked at his handsome and extraordinary face. “Elijah, don’t leave me, okay?”
His body suddenly trembled. This was because she said it in such a sad tone.
At this moment, he realized that he loved her deeply yet it was always filled with sadness while she loved him dearly yet helplessly.
It just that, she finally realized his feelings. As she felt her throat tightened, her words, like a surging river, hit Elijah’s, fragile heart. He tightened his grip on her hand so that she could be closer to him, close enough to hear the sound of each other’s heartbreak.
Tears could be seen in his dark eyes. Elijah choked as he raised his head to forced back the heavy tears that were about to flow out. He hoped that he could keep hugging her like this forever, quietly holding her in his arms for eternity. Watching the sunrise, sunset, and as seasons pass by.
Esther’s small hand tightly covered her mouth while nibbling on the back of her hand. She did not want the sound of her crying to be heard. At this moment, she knew that they were about to part ways.
She had guessed it right!
They were going to break up! Otherwise, he would have said nothing!
However, why did he want to break up with her when he could choose to stay by her side even in front of life and death?
Drops of tears started rolled down, each containing the feeling of helplessness as they fell little by little on the back of Elijah’s hand. Knowing that she was crying again, Elijah’s eyes turned red. He then tightly hugged her, as if he wanted to rub this petite body of hers and merged it with his. That way, no matter what happened, they will never be separated again.
“Esther, I’m really sorry!” He spoke.
Her body that was held tightly by him trembled slightly. Esther quietly relied on his embrace, as if something had been taken away from her heart. She felt empty as if the most precious thing to her had been left behind.
“In the future, remember to eat, wear clothes to keep warm, and do not do any dangerous things!” Elijah’s voice was turning a bit hoarse but remained very calm as if he was talking about someone else’s affairs.
After crying, her heart seemed to be calm again. However, as his words were about to come out, Esther still wanted to tell him, she did not want to hear his requests, she just wanted him to stay by her side. “I don’t want to! I won’t even eat or wear clothes to stay warm from now on, and I will always be doing dangerous things!”
“Esther-” Elijah felt pain in his heart as he silently hugged Esther tightly. As they were now close to each other, it made Elijah felt torn in his heart. However, he could not let Esther get into danger.
Elijah looked at her, his cold face remained expressionless. One of his hands was tightly holding onto Esther’s hand, pulling her into his embrace. Esther raised her head to look at the man. She then slightly propped up her body, raised her head, and kissed him gently on his chin, “I don’t want you to leave me, I don’t want! No matter what the reason is, I don’t want you to leave me!”
“Esther-” Elijah’s sullen gaze looked at Esther who was in his arms. He then lowered his head and started kissing her wildly and without restraint, seemingly wanting to finish all the kisses he would have given her in these three years.
Then, he kissed her gently, as if he wanted to slowly feel her presence as if he was back when he started loving her in the beginning.
“Esther …” he called her with a gentle tone and kissed her, feeling her as she submerged more and more into his embrace.
As he felt her gradually softening, one of his hands started carefully caressing her cheek. It was as if he was caressing a fragile piece of porcelain. Esther’s heart suddenly felt sour and unbearable, as if a great bitterness was present, surging from her heart and rushed to the bottom of her eyes. This caused her tears to start falling without a sound.
“Elijah-” As she moaned, she could feel his hand slide into her clothes, caressing her chest after touching and going through every part of her back. Although at first, Esther shuddered in wariness and was refusing, her body softened under the lust she had afterward.
“I want you!” His dark eyes stared intently at her face, and the thought of leaving for three years made his gaze towards her ache even more intensely.
She quickly reached over and wrapped her arms around Elijah’s neck, kissing his soft lips with her lips. If he would not want to confess, she would also not ask about it. This was because she knew he must have a reason for keeping it a secret.
At least, she knew that he was in love with herself and he was eager to have her by his side. Knowing this was already enough for her.
As he was crazily kissing Esther who was below him, his big hands kept touching the skin of hers that he liked, rubbing it gently, as if he wanted to remember every part of her clearly in his mind.
(Indescribable) …
She wanted to ask why he needed to leave, but she failed to.
She also wanted to ask whether he will be coming back. In the end, she also failed to ask him this question.
However, in this night, the feeling of desperation and confusion was amplified, even the tender and lingering love between them could not stop them from being separated.