Sera is fresh out of the shower and getting ready for bed when her necklace pulses at her throat again. Her heart begins beating wildly; her fingers reach for her phone.
The bedroom door unexpectedly opens. Slowly at first, skeptically slow. Sera jumps. Ready to defend herself at any cost, she crouches on the bed against the wall prepared to pounce. The door continues to open until…
Bianca Cross walks into the room. One look from her mother is all she needed to see that she overreacted. Then she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror: Her hair quaffed in a fallen bun, her mascara still slightly smudged from the shower, and the crazed look in her eyes finally causes her to soften.
“Oh, Sera,” are the only words her mother mutters before she pulls her into her arms and strokes her hair like she used to do when she was a child.
They sat like that for almost an hour while Sera mentally put her life together again. “I’m sorry Mom.” Sera wipes away a remaining tear with her finger.
“It’s okay, I am first and foremost your mother.” She sighs—a sigh that tells her there is more, “To be honest, we expected this break down. We just expected it to come a while ago with that break-up of yours. Only, it never came. You dove into work, you spent nights correcting papers with me in the living room. To be perfectly frank, this melt down is a long time coming. Just… don’t let it define you. Get it out and move on.”
“What if it’s not something you can move on from?”
She gives Sera a stern look like she’s trying to read her mind, “Then you adapt, don’t let things get to you. Especially if you have no control over them.”
Sera wants to ask her a million more questions, she wants to spill her guts, but the words Psychic Anna told her still resonate, If you love her, keep her out of this.
She can’t involve her mother. She will do what she was instructed. She will adapt. She will get better. Things will change. “Okay, no more mopey-Sera.”
“Don’t get me wrong, the running is paying off dear, but coming home at all hours of the night and eating all the food in the house is starting to make me think your taking drugs.”
Sera laughs, Bianca shoots her that look that warns her she sees nothing funny with this matter.
“You think I’m doing drugs?” Again, she can’t control the giggles.
“Are you high right now?” Her mother’s eyes tear into her.
“What? No!”
“Well, Hun, the appetite, the weight loss, the paranoia—your father and I are just… worried.”
Sera covers her face with her arm, “Dad thinks this, too?”
“There was a conversation. We weren’t judging you, we are just worried.”
“Mom, I’m not on drugs,” she announces, but what else would becoming half-Angel compare to? Nothing Sera could ever put into words. She’s not proud of it, but she even debated letting them think that she was on drugs for a second. In the end, she decides against it. Sera refuses to have her parent’s view of her tarnished.
“Is there anything you want to talk about?” Her motherly instinct is on overdrive today.
“No. It’s nothing to worry about Mom.” She hoped that was the truth, but something deep inside knew it was a lie.
Bianca pauses for a second, waiting for Sera to reconsider. “Okay then, get some sleep dear.”
“Goodnight Mom.”
The door closes softly behind her, and she listens to the footsteps on the wood floor trace their way down the hallway. Her parents are getting too close to this. They are starting to suspect things. For the first time since returning home from college, Sera debates moving out. Maybe she could move in with Amanda or maybe she’s better off alone? The truth is, she’s scared—scared of being alone. What if someone attacks her again? Who would be there to scream for?
After her little intervention with her mother, Sera is more than ready to close her eyes on this day. She’s tucked into her covers and watching some bad reality television when she hears something strange. She reaches for the remote and hits mute.
Again, it comes, a tiny noise dinging against her window. Sera tosses off her covers and slips out of bed. Her breath is trying to quiet the incessant beating of her heart. Then just as she takes another step toward the window, something comes crashing through.
When Sera looks up she realizes she’s crouched on the floor in an attack position, but the only thing she see’s is a rock on the floor of her bedroom. Curious, she slowly walks toward the window. There’s a thump outside. Her heart beating wild, her hair blowing behind her as the wind echoes through her open window. She finds the courage to peek outside.
The pull of the string causes the blinds to retract. Nate’s soft face peers back at her from the other side of the pane. He raps once more mildly sarcastic as he maintains a crouched position on the slightly slanted roof he’s perched on. Relieved, she flips the lock and swings the window open.
“Nate?” Glass crunches when she lifts up the broken window. “What are you doing here?”
“You said no one throws rocks at girls’ windows anymore. So, I did.”
She stifles a giggle. “It’s supposed to be a small rock, just enough to clink the window and let her know you’re outside.”
“Oh.” His hand shuffles his hair out of his eyes as his cheeks redden.
“But, we have another human expression…” His eyes glance up expectantly, so she continues. “It’s the thought that counts.”
“What does that mean? To humans?”
“It means that you tried. That’s what really matters, in the end.”
“Maybe.”
He still looks upset so Sera continues, “Are you checking on me?”
“Your light was on.”
“Why were you outside my house?”
“I was just making sure you were okay.”
“I’m okay. Just a simple case of insomnia.”
He’s quiet for a few seconds, “I can’t seem to get used to sleeping either.”
“Can’t get used to sleep? Sleep is the best. I would sleep all day if I could and even better, no one tries to kill me in my sleep. Well, most times, anyway.”
“The truth is, the only time my mind can relax is when I watch you sleep.”
“That’s not creepy at all.”
His eyes inspect her room. “Is that secular humor?” he responds.
“Did you really watch me sleep?” Sera’s suddenly self-conscious of her old striped pajamas.
He nods, “It was my job.”
She processes this slowly, “Do I snore?”
“Only when you’re sick.” He adds peeking into her closet; his fingers graze her hangers causing them to jingle.
“Oh, I’m embarrassed now.” Her hand flies to her forehead.
“I found it endearing.” He wanders about the room touching her picture frames. It’s almost like he’s trying to memorize everything.
“You couldn’t touch these things before, could you?”
“No.” He turns with a sigh, “I couldn’t use anything secular in the battle against the supernatural.”
“What about me? Could you touch me?”
He comes to sit in the chair at her desk kicking his feet up on the pile of papers – he looks comfortable, like he’s done this before. She can practically picture him there propped up on her desk with his hands behind his head. He breaks her out of her daydream.
“I don’t know if you could call it touching. When touching, both people can feel it—it’s shared. I reached out, but you never felt me. All the times I prevented you from tripping down the stairs or missing a curb, spilling coffee on yourself, you’ve never felt any of those things.” He sighs before a slick smile shines across his face. “Which reminds me, you’re very clumsy. Definitely not the easiest person to protect, you know.” Sera hides a smile and turns to sit on the edge of her bed facing Nate in the chair.
“Imagine wanting to fly but only having wheels. I was preparing for a world with wings, but I never got off the ground.”
“A world with wings isn’t careless,” he says.
“I wasn’t careless, I was lost in my own head daydreaming about a world I couldn’t have ever imagined.” He nods in understanding. “Do you know why I felt that way?”
“No, there are things I still need to figure out.”
Sera doesn’t have a response so she stares at the small nail polish stain on the oak floor. The silence grows. Her thoughts are contemplative, until she finally glances up to meet his gaze. His azure eyes are on her with a raw openness she’s never seen before, even in her dreams.
“I want you to touch me.” Sera states.
His perfect eyes go wide, “What?”
“I want you to touch me for the first time.”
He pauses nervously for a second until he’s on his feet. The footsteps toward the bed seem to take forever. Once he stands before her, his hands remain at his sides. Sera reaches out, entwining his hand in hers. A soft gasp escapes his lips, and he only watches her turn it around inside both her hands. Her fingers dance over his palm. His fingers twitch in response. They are soft. Instead of callouses, there are only tiny white scars scattered in the palm and one across his thumb.
Gently, she pulls his arm to her face. He cups her cheek in the palm of his hand. Her eyes close savoring his touch. It feels familiar, yet strange. His hands are suddenly warm, not sweaty, but warm like he had been holding a hot cup of coffee. They smell slightly of pine and saw dust. When she opens her eyes again, his eyes are staring intently at their hands connected at the side of her cheek.
His mouth had fallen open while her eyes were closed, and she struggles to hide a giggle. That draws his eyes to hers. He swallows, now able to keep his mouth closed.
“How was that?” Sera whispers.
“Everything I imagined and more.” He breathes, reluctant to pull his hand back.
Eventually, Sera softly pulls his hand from her face. They remain clasped between hers. He’s standing in front of her. The height of her bed brings her to only his chest as she remains sitting. Sera’s eyes dart up his broad chest. His eyes are on their hands until he feels her eyes on him. When he meets them, things are different between them. There’s a feeling of intimacy, openness. She’s never had with anyone before, and she has that feeling, deep inside (the one that is never wrong) that tells her she never will again. This man—Angel, whatever he is—has changed her whole life. Even with all that has gone on, one look in his serene blue eyes is all she needs to realize she can never go back to the way things used to be. She’s not even sure she would want them to.