The thing about pasts, is that they should stay that way.
Nosey people like me never learn, and he didn’t like being interrogated.
But as always, I was too selfish to think about how others felt.
“What sort of complications?” I raise a brow at him, and go to place my fork on the side of the plate, giving him my full attention.
“Sorry, Dove. You had one question,” he grins, knowing what he had done, but I still pressed on.
“Well, yeah. This doesn’t count, it’s a follow up question.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“That’s how a conversation works.”
“Look, Dove. I really don’t feel like talking about it. I left early for a reason, and you bringing it up now is just bullshit.”
He moves around the kitchen counter corner, and goes back into the bedroom, leaving me to feel like shit for asking.
But he was right – I didn’t need to know everything. I was getting too close, too personal, for no reason.
I didn’t have a valid purpose for knowing – it’s not like he was my boyfriend or anything.
I get up from the counter, not bothering to finish the rest of the pancakes, and make my way over to him.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I guess I’m just worried something happened, that’s all.” I wrap my arms around his back, forcing him to turn and look at me.
“Something did happen. But it doesn’t matter now.” He huffs, and I simply nod and look up at him with a sympathetic smile.
“Okay,” I give in, not wanting to create more drama.
“Where did you go?”
Here it was.
“Back to my parents’,” I look down, but he tilts my chin up so that I am forced to look at him.
“Why?”
“You know why,” I sigh, and remove his hand, walking around the bed and to my phone which he must’ve placed on the nightstand to charge over the night.
“Still, you should’ve stayed.”
“I couldn’t, Theo. I couldn’t go back home with him after that, and you were leaving for England anyway, so what was I suppose to do?”
“Didn’t you have an old roommate you’d stay with when shit like this happened?”
“No she…. she moved out, she transferred to Montana,” I reply in a low voice.
“Oh,” was all he could say.
“Um well, anyways. Thank you for bringing me here last night, and for breakfast. I should probably get back to the apartment.”
“You’re going back to him?”
“Like I have a choice?” I counter, a little pissed off at his very unnecessary question.
“No, I just mean…. you could stay here with me, for a few days, if you want. I just don’t think going back so soon is a smart choice. I heard the whole thing that night on the field, you know.”
I did know – I knew and it angered me that everyone on that field, Theo included, now knew about my relationship problems.
Although, I did take the liberty of telling him about our previous issues even before that, so he already had an idea of just how messy Sam and I were. But still.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea….” I say, reluctance clear in my voice, but I knew that I should.
He didn’t know about how Sam had managed to hurt me, he didn’t know about the fact that he had threatened to sell the apartment if I ever left him again.
I couldn’t exactly tell him at the party, and I couldn’t tell him now.
Would I ever tell him?
“Come on, Dove. I can sleep on the couch again, I don’t mind. I know you being at that party had something to do with him, and maybe even your parents, so just let me help.”
“Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why do you want to help?”
He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again, thinking his words over. Then he simply says, “because I care about you.”
And I believed him.
There was no uncertainty in his tone, no mocking expression that followed. Those simple words were perhaps the kindest I had received since I started college, and it was nice to know I didn’t have the whole world against me.
Even if it felt like it sometimes.
“Okay,” I smile, and his eyes glimmer slightly at my approval, the brilliant green of them softening.
“Okay,” he smiles, and goes to give me a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, which were due to look absolutely ridiculous on my small frame.
“Can’t spare me some clothes from the hook-up pile?” I tease, and he chuckles slightly, throwing the fabrics at me.
“Hilarious,” he smiles, and points me to the bathroom so that I could shower and change.
Before getting in, I decided to check my phone, and when I see that I have no messages, not even a call from Sam, I decide to turn it off.
There was one text from his mother, expressing her concern as usual, and none from my own, showing her lack of concern for me as usual.
But I couldn’t deal with either of them at the moment – I had just gotten wasted out of my mind, and now I would take up temporary residence in Theo’s home for god knows how many days, until I felt ready to face Sam again.
I wondered if he continued to drink after our heated argument, or if he had chosen to sober up and realise what he had just done.
That’s not to say I wasn’t to blame, because if the roles were reversed, I’d act out too. I left him, I left everything behind, and ran as usual.
But for him to threaten to sell our home was a step too far, not to mention he had managed to hurt me physically, something I never thought he was capable of.
A single tear runs down my cheek as I remember how scared I had felt in that moment.
But then, as the hot water poured down my back, those memories were washed away for a few minutes, and all my mind could focus on was a victorious smirk and enchanting green eyes.